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Craiglowery

By Craiglowery
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Craiglowery

Craiglowery

Posted
Posted

Well I was browsing other forums and I found this little gem:

 

 

 

 

 

Guys this is probably the most embarassing thing that has ever happened to me. I was at my girlfriends house tonight for dinner, and shortly after i had to go #2. My Gf's brother was in the downstairs bathroom, so i went upstairs to use the master bathroom. I was about to take a dump, and I remembered something my friend told me called AC Slatering. AC Slatering is when you take a dump facing backwards on the toilet, just how on saved by the bell AC Slater always sat backwards on a chair. So when I was taking a dump, My stomache was facing the back of the toilet, and my back was facing the door. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and began to get nervous. Since AC SLatering is a tough position to get into, it requires taking off your pants. So there I am sitting in my GF's parents bathroom taking a dump with my pants off and facing the wrong way on the toilet. My dump was about halfway out when the footsteps became closer. I then turned around to see that I had not locked the door. Trying to finish as quickly as I could, I began pushing harder and harder. Suddenly, the door opened, and my gf's mom stood there in shock staring at me. We made eye contact for a split second, and I was so embarassed I wanted to die. I quickly finished up, got dressed, and ran out of the house as quickly as I could. I am expecting my gf to break up with me tommorow. I am so embarassed and I hope my gf doesnt blabber about this, Ill die if anyone else finds out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Man I gotta try this tommorrow at my gf's house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyone find any good web gems this week?

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NorthernHero

NorthernHero

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Posted

Lol the guy is in shock because his girlfriends mom sav him in bathroom? Thats ridiculous imo. Embarassing maybe but not that fatal.

Reality is hundreds of times more beautiful and more interesting than delusions. Fairy tales just tend to be easier to follow than the wonderful intricacies of life.

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king_kenny69

king_kenny69

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Beats me why he wanted to bust a dump backwards at his girlfriends house, the only result from that is leaving a nice trail down the front of the bowl.

 

 

 

People do it at parties that I've been to, which is why I choose to water the plants instead. It's unpleasant for the girls, though.

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My Last.Fm

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NorthernHero

NorthernHero

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Beats me why he wanted to bust a dump backwards at his girlfriends house, the only result from that is leaving a nice trail down the front of the bowl.

 

 

Haha that made me crack up :lol: . Why indeed? :-k

Reality is hundreds of times more beautiful and more interesting than delusions. Fairy tales just tend to be easier to follow than the wonderful intricacies of life.

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Lionheart_0

Lionheart_0

Posted
Posted

:lol: Many lulz came from that.

 

 

 

I would try to find some... but sadly they aren't fit for this forums.

 

 

 

Lets just say the majority of them end up with the OT become the prince of Bel-Air

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RayOxide

RayOxide

Posted
Posted
Trying to finish as quickly as I could, I began pushing harder and harder. Suddenly, the door opened, and my gf's mom stood there in shock staring at me. We made eye contact for a split second, and I was so embarassed I wanted to die. I quickly finished up, got dressed, and ran out of the house as quickly as I could. I am expecting my gf to break up with me tommorow.

 

 

 

 

1. He must've had some problem :shock:

 

2. She must've thought he stole her secret. :o

 

3. HE DID NOT FLUSH!!! :notalk:

I dont need a siggy no moar.

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Azvareth

Azvareth

Posted
Posted

I don't see what's so special about that one. I see threads like that posted several times a day -- i.e usually a guy who is caught red-handed doing something embarrassing and then for some reason feels inclined to share the incident with the internet. But instead of receiving the help he so desperately wants he is usually ridiculed and after a while abandons said thread.

 

 

 

However, great many laughs, and even more agonizing screams, were had over a fellow with aspergers, whom, despite his strange and peculiar quirks, managed to get a girlfriend. That suddenly changed however when she, one morning, found the jars (plural) he stored under his bed, filled with his own "manjuice".

 

 

 

Well, not so much "funny" that it was completely and utterly disgusting.

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StrOwez

StrOwez

Posted
Posted
That story isn't even funny.

 

Then why post a crappy little sentence explaining absolutely nothing, you little [cabbage]?

 

 

 

to make a point which is too intelligent for [developmentally delayed]s like you to understand, anyway that story shouldn't be presented as fact as I'm sure it is 100% made up. And if anyone likes I can prove it.

A friend to all is a friend to none.

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Diesel

Diesel

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Funny story, but I have one little problem with it:

 

 

 

I am so embarassed and I hope my gf doesnt blabber about this, Ill die if anyone else finds out.

 

 

 

 

If he doesn't want anyone to know, then why the heck post it on a forum?!? :XD:

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Proud to have served on Tip.it Crew

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Lionheart_0

Lionheart_0

Posted
Posted
Funny story, but I have one little problem with it:

 

 

 

I am so embarassed and I hope my gf doesnt blabber about this, Ill die if anyone else finds out.

 

 

 

 

If he doesn't want anyone to know, then why the heck post it on a forum?!? :XD:

 

 

 

Cause original poster was probably a troll, or wanted it to become copypasta.

 

 

 

Half these stories you hear aren't actually true.

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NorthernHero

NorthernHero

Posted
Posted

Taking a dumb is such a tabu. Thats about it makes it so that when some says "poop" everyones giggling like little girls. [hide]Or like that youtube thing 2 girls 1 cup, people were pracitically throving up just for some poop. Don't take me wrong, I had odd feeling on my stomach too with that one.[/hide]

 

 

 

I wonder why it's so tabu to us. Does it remind us that we aren't perfect design? We create something filthy and smelly.

Reality is hundreds of times more beautiful and more interesting than delusions. Fairy tales just tend to be easier to follow than the wonderful intricacies of life.

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indy500fan

indy500fan

Posted
Posted

Keep in mind when reading these:

 

1. They are probably copy pasta, the person who posted it probably didn't write it. Obviously our OP didn't claim it, but a lot do.

 

2. They are mostly made up. I'm thinking at least 95% of them. If you read through them you'll find stuff that just doesn't make sense.

 

3. They usually claim not to want anyone in RL to know, so they post it on an anon board. If they are one of the <5% whose story actually might be true, then you are free to make fun of them all you want. If they are stupid enough to tell someone else, even anon, then they deserve the ridicule.

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meol

meol

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Posted

Even if I do agree and am sure most of these are made-up, I still would say that posting it into an internet forum contradicts not wanting anyone else to know. It's not the same when your friend know about an embarassing incident of yours or when some letters and numbers with a signature and avatar that might as well live at the other side of the world knows about it. That's wy the internet is the favourite place for people to publicise such things.

This signature is intentionally left blank.

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Jaziek

Jaziek

Posted
Posted
Funny story, but I have one little problem with it:

 

 

 

I am so embarassed and I hope my gf doesnt blabber about this, Ill die if anyone else finds out.

 

 

 

 

If he doesn't want anyone to know, then why the heck post it on a forum?!? :XD:

 

 

 

Cause original poster was probably a troll, or wanted it to become copypasta.

 

 

 

Half these stories you hear aren't actually true.

 

 

 

half? more than that. definitely. like 95% or so.

 

 

 

rules 21 through 24 describe this thread entirely.

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Lionheart_0

Lionheart_0

Posted
Posted

 

rules 21 through 24 describe this thread entirely.

 

 

 

Hmm OT, but I just went to go look at the list to see which these were. After finding 21 through 24, I though i would look through the list to chuckle at a few more (specifically 34). But what do I behold, someone has changed the list! 34 is no longer the popular rule we all know and love/hate, but says "nothing is sacred".

 

 

 

I though you would all like to know.

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Your Guide to Posting! Behave or I will send my Moose mounted Beaver launchers at you!

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Craiglowery

Craiglowery

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Posted

Today my buddy DAVESECRETARY stopped by on another forum that I post on and told me a couple of his legendary stories:

 

 

 

 

 

EVERY GODDAMNED CHRISTMAS MY DAD AND MY UNCLE RON GET INTO IMPORTANT ARGUMENTS ABOUT POLITICS AND THE BEST AIRPORTS IN ZURICH AND WHICH PRESIDENTS ARE ARSEHOLES IN PERSON AND THAT SORT OF THING. MY OTHER UNCLE D. IS KIND OF THE BLACK SHEEP IN THE FAMILY AND WE DON'T PAY MUCH ATTENTION TO HIM.

 

 

 

ANYWAY THIS ONE CHRISTMAS MY DAD & RON ARE REALLY GOING AT IT, SOMETHING ABOUT AFRICA, WHEN UNCLE D. WALKS INTO THE MIDDLE OF THINGS GINGERLY CARRYING THIS TAPE LIKE IT WAS A DYING CHILD AND LOOKS COYLY AT MY DAD AND RON AND SAYS "SO, I BET YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT SONG IS THIS!!"

 

 

 

AND MY DAD AND RON COULDN'T CARE LESS AND SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT HOW THERE'S NO TIME BUT UNCLE D. IS ALREADY BREAKING THE TAPE DECK AND JAMMING IN HIS PRECIOUS TAPE. HE FLASHES US A SLY LOOK AND SAYS "I BET NOBODY HERE WILL GET THIS" AND PRESSES PLAY

 

 

 

IT'S FREAKING 'HEY JUDE'. 19 PEOPLE IN THE LIVING ROOM ALL SAY 'IT'S HEY JUDE' AT THE SAME TIME AND LOOK AGGRAVATED.

 

 

 

UNCLE D. LOOKS AT US ALL IMPISHLY AND SAYS 'NO'.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SO I'M ON THE BUS FOR SOME GODDAMNED REASON AND I AM LISTENING CAREFULLY TO THE CONVERSATION IN FRONT OF ME, HELD BETWEEN THIS BLOWSY SULKY GIRL WHO IS CLEARLY DOMINATING THE SITUATION AND HER 'BOYFRIEND', A SCRAWNY LOOKING MESS NEAR TEARS. THE FOLLOWING IS ALMOST VERBATIM.

 

 

 

SCRAWNY MESS: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE CHEATED ON ME?!

 

 

 

BLOWSY GIRL: I CHEATED ON YOU.

 

 

 

SCRAWNY MESS: (SNIFFLING MISERABLY) BUT.. BUT.. YOU CHEATED ON ME?

 

 

 

BLOWSY GIRL: (ALMOST INDIGNANTLY) YES.

 

 

 

SCRAWNY MESS: (TEARS FORMING) FOR HOW LONG?

 

 

 

BLOWSY GIRL: (WITH A HINT OF SATISFACTION) ABOUT A YEAR.

 

 

 

SCRAWNY MESS: (TEARS WELLING UP) OHHHHH NOOOO.

 

 

 

SCRAWNY MESS PAUSES TO REFLECT. THE BOY IS A VERITABLE DISTILLERY AT THIS POINT AND YOU CAN JUST TELL SOME SORT OF ULTIMATUM IS COMING. HE MASTERS HIS EMOTIONS AND BECOMES VERY STILL. I AM EXPECTING HIM TO GET ALL KUNG FU ON THIS GIRL. INSTEAD HE TURNS TO HER, WIPES THE TEARS FROM HIS EYES AND SAYS "STRIKE ONE, NANCY... STRIKE ONE."x

 

 

 

Man when I read this for the first time I was in tears.

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sparky697

sparky697

Posted
Posted

lol it got me laughin my [wagon] off....

 

 

 

never heard of that one...i've only heard of and performed an upper decker which is where you poop in the top part of the toilet and clog up the bottom part so they gotta stick their hand in the upper part to unclog it.

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pennywise

pennywise

Posted
Posted
Today my buddy DAVESECRETARY stopped by on another forum that I post on and told me one of his legendary stories:

 

 

 

 

 

EVERY GODDAMNED CHRISTMAS MY DAD AND MY UNCLE RON GET INTO IMPORTANT ARGUMENTS ABOUT POLITICS AND THE BEST AIRPORTS IN ZURICH AND WHICH PRESIDENTS ARE ARSEHOLES IN PERSON AND THAT SORT OF THING. MY OTHER UNCLE D. IS KIND OF THE BLACK SHEEP IN THE FAMILY AND WE DON'T PAY MUCH ATTENTION TO HIM.

 

 

 

ANYWAY THIS ONE CHRISTMAS MY DAD & RON ARE REALLY GOING AT IT, SOMETHING ABOUT AFRICA, WHEN UNCLE D. WALKS INTO THE MIDDLE OF THINGS GINGERLY CARRYING THIS TAPE LIKE IT WAS A DYING CHILD AND LOOKS COYLY AT MY DAD AND RON AND SAYS "SO, I BET YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT SONG IS THIS!!"

 

 

 

AND MY DAD AND RON COULDN'T CARE LESS AND SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT HOW THERE'S NO TIME BUT UNCLE D. IS ALREADY BREAKING THE TAPE DECK AND JAMMING IN HIS PRECIOUS TAPE. HE FLASHES US A SLY LOOK AND SAYS "I BET NOBODY HERE WILL GET THIS" AND PRESSES PLAY

 

 

 

IT'S FREAKING 'HEY JUDE'. 19 PEOPLE IN THE LIVING ROOM ALL SAY 'IT'S HEY JUDE' AT THE SAME TIME AND LOOK AGGRAVATED.

 

 

 

UNCLE D. LOOKS AT US ALL IMPISHLY AND SAYS 'NO'.

 

 

 

 

Man when I read this for the first time I was in tears.

 

 

 

 

 

I don't get it.

Eight Bananas, MD.

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