First one's pretty obvious,but how to I handle this second girl? -.-

 

 

 

Dump the girl who's just using you and try to get with the better of the two choices? I personally wouldn't get into just any relationship just because I feel lonely.

 

First one's pretty obvious,but how to I handle this second girl? -.-

 

 

 

Dump the girl who's just using you and try to get with the better of the two choices? I personally wouldn't get into just any relationship just because I feel lonely.

 

That, and remember the first golden rule of a rock band: The drummer never gets the girl (except Travis Barker, but then he was the only one in blink with a mental age over 11).

 

First one's pretty obvious,but how to I handle this second girl? -.-

 

 

 

Dump the girl who's just using you and try to get with the better of the two choices? I personally wouldn't get into just any relationship just because I feel lonely.

 

That, and remember the first golden rule of a rock band: The drummer never gets the girl (except Travis Barker, but then he was the only one in blink with a mental age over 11).

 

 

 

I'm the exception to that rule,since I'm just awesome.Seriously,Discovery Channel knows it.

 

 

 

Hell,my problem is getting a relationship which was founded in platonic friendship into a more...serious one.

I was a drummer, but I wasn't in a band and I got a girlfriend. Does that count? :P

 

 

 

No seriously, the problem you've got is a non-platonic relationship demands a physical desire from both people, not just yourself. And it's nigh impossible to change that other person's view like that.

 

 

 

I've gone through life so far not really bothering about relationships. All of mine have come from friendships and I've never "dated". Even I have to confess though that if you want something more physical, you need to get out and start flirting and being a little bit audacious, even if it's something I can't ever picture myself doing.

We need a billboard put up either at in the OP or at the top of every page in this thread that says, in really big letters, CONFIDENCE. I may very well find such a billboard jpeg online and post it at the top of every page. Hmm...

 

 

 

I remember that ShadowFaxPZ said exactly the same thing many months ago, by bolding 'Confidence'.

 

It made me realise that that was the thing I needed back then.

I personally disagree. It's not about confidence, it's about finding someone who likes who for you who you are, not a fictitious image you make of yourself to impress.

Confidence gives you the ability to project who you are. If no one can see you, then you're likely to be over-looked.

It really depends on the person. There's a difference between self-confidence, where you feel comfortable about yourself and who you are, and social confidence where you have the ability to express yourself without anxiety of how others perceive or judge your character.

 

 

 

I think it's a given you have to feel confident about yourself. Not necessarily to the point you become an ego-maniac, but you need to at least be able to laugh at yourself. Some people like to be friends with nervous wrecks, but I think even they would rule out a relationship there.

 

 

 

Social confidence is different though. Would I want to go out with someone who expresses her opinions no matter how offensive they are around all my friends? Absolutely not. That's not a farfetched example either, there's plenty of people out there like that. I'm not saying there's necessarily anything wrong in being that extroverted, but it's simply not for me.

 

 

 

Stop trying to define certain personality traits as being less or more likely to pick up a girlfriend/boyfriend. Everyone is different, learn to be comfortable with who you are.

 

 

 

As the saying goes: Get the mind right, and the rest will follow.

ok guys i have probably the hardest problem and an extremly hard decision but i hope i can get something out of you guys from this (not trying to be rude lol)

 

 

 

Ok, at the end of the school year i fell in love with this girl, well, basicly fell head head over heels for her.

 

things went absolutly great for a while, i described that time as i was "high on life" But, in the middle of summer, she got busy in working on stuff for college. (she is currently a high school senior and i am a high school junior) She ended up dropping all of her friends to work on that stuff, including me. I was deeply depressed, and ended up on teh pills (lol). But, as hard as i tried to get over it, i couldnt. I cared about her so much.

 

 

 

So, I just tried to put it out of my mind and went on in life. About a month and a half later, i met another girl. Everything she did just made me smile, and it made me feel better. As i got to know her, started to develope feelings for her. At the end of the summer i asked her out, and she said yes.

 

 

 

Now, here is where problem begins (speaking in russian accent, lol. odd comment aboiut russian so if you think its wierd just disregard it)

 

 

 

The first girl comes back to me in school, and talks to me privatly about how upset she was over this whole turn of events, and how she thought you should always put schoolwork first (shes in the top 10 in her class rank), but she said for the first time that she realized how wrong it was to put schoolwork in front of all of her friends, and said that shes there if i ever need anything, and that if me and the girl i am currently dating ever broke up with me that we could go back (although it would take a while)

 

:shock:

 

 

 

In dating the girl i am now, things started out even better then the first girl i dated, In my opinion, i think we went too far to fast. We had sex within a month. Now, she thinks that I am the "one" for her, how she can not live without me, how I am her everything in live, how I'm the one thing she has to live for, etc.

 

 

 

Now, the first girl is rather upset, because she absolutly hates the girl im dating now, and the girl im datig now absolutly hates the other girl. The first girl starts talking/complaining to her best friend, who is also best friends with the girl that im dating now. This makes both my current girlfriend and the best friend upset because thats all she talks about. The more this happens, the more upset my girlfriend gets. This is when she says if i was ever happier going back to the first girl ,i could because it would make me happy.

 

 

 

ok right? wrong. The thjing is, as fun as my current girlfriend is when im with her, im just not happy anymore with her. As horrible as it is to say, i guess the steam has run out. Even, umm.......... sex isnt as great as it used to be. It might be because i think im too young and that im taking things too far too fast.

 

 

 

I kinda want to go back to the first girl now. but the thing is, is that my current girlfriend claims that she will commit suicide if i leave her, and that im all she has in the world

 

 

 

I guess now, i have to decide whom to pick. It literally impossible because

 

1) I like them both

 

and

 

2) If i pick one the other will be hurt. I want everyone to stay happy

 

 

 

if ANYONE has ANY ADVICE i seriously need it. i dont know what to do

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i rofl at the fact that this post took up about 1/4 of the page :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

You're just flat-out screwed.

lmfao thanks

need a serious answer though ppl

That's the most serious answer anyone can really give you. You either have to pick one or tell them you're gay. Or fake your death.

 

 

 

I say choose to take back the first one. Second sounds crazy.

the second one is crazy, but when i was with her i felt a special connestion that i hadnt felt when i was with the first one, even though im on/off happy with the second one

 

 

 

 

 

i really like both of them

You aren't going to be able to stay in a relationship with either if you want them both to be happy.

 

 

 

From your standpoint, it seems to me that you have a longer connection with the first girl, so I would suggest following your heart and choosing her. I can sympathize for the first girl, as the senior year of high school is very important to do well in so that you can get into a good university. Neglecting your friends during this time is a common thing to do, but because of your grade difference, you won't realize that until next year. I don't think it was something she wanted to do, but it was something she had to do. You shouldn't have felt all depressed because of this in the first place. She even says that she'll always be with you if you get dumped / dump the other girl. You should have stayed loyal to her as well, then this problem would have never occurred.

 

 

 

The second girl just seems to have gotten you on the rebound, when you were taking pills and was all depressed. It doesn't seem like love to me with these variables in effect. And you had sex with her, that just complicates things even more. There is no reason to be in a relationship with her if you don't love her.

 

 

 

Your options (In order of preference) are to either dump the one you are with now and go back to the first girl, don't be in a relationship with either, or have things stay the way they are. If you truly care about both in the same way, then don't be with either. Otherwise, pick one and hope you chose the right one.

Stay with the second girl, seeings how your still dating her and girl #1 hasnt committed suicide.

 

 

 

Or, you could just tell girl #1 that if you and your gf break up, you'll go out with her (if you want to).

or tell them you're gay.

 

 

This.

 

 

 

Seriously though, stick with the girl you're dating now, but also try to stay as friendly as possible with the first girl and let her know that you do still like her (unless girl #2 finds out and tries to kill you or something). That way if things don't work out between you and the girl you're dating now, you have a back up plan. ;)

 

 

 

Or fake your death.

start acting all stupid and be a slob and make the 2nd girl not like you any more and breakup with you.

 

 

 

then go back to the first girl :

I want to personally thank you all for your insight. Luife has never seemed easy to me, and I know now that lfe isnt easy at all. All of my friends said that this was my decision, and that they wouldnt intervene. That made this decision even more difficult because i could get absolutly no insight at all.

 

 

 

I think im going to go back to the first girl, because in all honesty im just not happy being with the second girl and i was doind it to make myself happy, which hurts her, and i never should have done that.

 

 

 

Im probably going to do it tomorrow, and im probably going to cry anyways. :(

 

I guess i just made things horribly worse for the second girl by almost living a lie with her, which i feel horrible to admit.

start acting all stupid and be a slob and make the 2nd girl not like you any more and breakup with you.

 

 

 

then go back to the first girl :

 

 

 

I dont like acting like that. Its neither my nature or the way i want to act. If im going to leave the second girl, which i have decided to, im going to be honorable

ok, this is a bad situation I'm in..Well i think it is.

 

 

 

There is this girl i have been dating for a good 2 years now, although...it doesn't even feel like were dating.

 

 

 

I don't ask much of her, not much at all. She won't even kiss me in front of people, it's kinda sad. I mean, im not asking for a make out session in front of her locker, just a nice little kiss. She won't even hug me in front of people, well she will....but it's not even a real hug. More like a touch and RUN!! to class.

 

 

 

Example: Last year, at the semi formal dance,(i know this will sound girly) But i wanted to either cry, or leave. There was a slow song that came up, i asked her to dance, she said no and sat on the bleachers. I tried to get her to dance for the entire slow song. Her friend ended up askign her if she wouldn't mind me dancing with her. So i ended up dancing with her best friend. That's kinda sad...

 

 

 

It doesn't feel like a relationship, not even like a friend with "benefits"I mean, when were alone she is almost like this..It takes me forever to get a simple kiss..

 

 

 

Now, onto other things..

 

 

 

She seems to want to pick fights over EVERYTHING and ANYTHING that she either doesn't agree with, or that she justs feels like arguing (even when not PMS) I was talking to her about jobs, as she was hoping to get one eventually. I gave her all sorts of advice, as I have a job. But every bit of advise was a "not thats not true" "that can't happen" etc..I got fed up with that. That is just a minor example, i will not go further with that.

 

 

 

There are many more things, these are just two..

 

 

 

I don't know what to do anymore.I feel like im living in a lie, and can't pretend to be happy any longer. I feel like i haven't explained this the best i can, as in wording, and the fact there are far worse examples. I hope i can get some real advice.

 

 

 

So...What should i do?

Dump her. Sounds like you dont enjoy being with her and the way you explained it, she seems like a beeeitch.

 

 

 

Or, talk to her first, ask her why she wont display affection for you in front of other people (or even at all). If you dont find her answer reasonable, then dump her...?

 

 

 

And come on, she wont even dance with you? Whats up with that

Sounds like she just wants to be in a relationship.

Breaking up with her would be the best route to take. The way I see it, there are two possible outcomes if you do decide to break up.

 

 

 

1. She won't really care, since that seems to be the vibe that is currently described.

 

 

 

2. There will be resistance from her. If this does happen, you just have to defend your part, that she isn't committed into being in a relationship with you. If she denies that, use the examples that you told us in your post.

 

 

 

You might want to consider having a heart to heart talk before considering this. If she won't even sit down and listen to what you have to say, then there is no hope for the relationship.

Sounds like she just wants to be in a relationship.

 

 

 

Hits the nail on the head there. Just break up with her, your going to cause yourself more pain that way...Trust me, you will. I know what it is like to have a Girl Friend like that...