---

No, I wouldn't do that, unless I actually liked the person.

 

I didn't think I would either, but my high expectations of myself seem to fall more often than they should.

So Sam became single, AGAIN. We told her this would happen. To be honest I'm not even sure I want to chase after her, last thing I want to hear from another woman is "I prefer us as friends"

So Sam became single, AGAIN. We told her this would happen. To be honest I'm not even sure I want to chase after her, last thing I want to hear from another woman is "I prefer us as friends"

 

If you really don't value her friendship, I'd half heartingly suggest relentlessly flirting with her to the point of over-aggression. Then she can't see you as a friend and will either leave you the hell alone, or hook up with you. Which in all honesty, most of the time its the former [not for you personally, but just in general]

If you dont want to be friend zoned then dont act like a friend. If youre roleplaying and escalating touching its a cakewalk. The hardest part is getting her to meet up with you to hang out.

Apparently shes trying to work things out with him. Im not bothering tbh. Nothing sucks more then dating a girl who is obsessed with her Ex still. I've been there and it drove me insane listening to it over and over.

Apparently shes trying to work things out with him. Im not bothering tbh. Nothing sucks more then dating a girl who is obsessed with her Ex still. I've been there and it drove me insane listening to it over and over.

 

Yes, doesn't help when you see him every day, in every lesson and he acts like nothing is wrong when you know he knows different.

Alright guys my subway date went well and I've managed to get a second date tonight to see Black Swan, now....

 

Is the yawn arm around her shoulder appropriate on the 2nd date or plain out too cliched?

It's not a very practical thing to do at the theater. You can make moves, but not like that, and preferably not during the movie. Cf. Dan's touching blog post.

Alright guys my subway date went well and I've managed to get a second date tonight to see Black Swan, now....

 

Is the yawn arm around her shoulder appropriate on the 2nd date or plain out too cliched?

 

I would personally never do that, just doesn't sit in my head well. She, should, make it obvious if she wants to touch/hold but you will need to realise that.

Just follow the advice above regarding what to do.

 

Alslo, is it just you two?

I no longer believe in the friend zone.

 

I was "friend zoned" but I "got out of it" by doing nothing other than being a good friend. And now, having spent so much time as her friend, we have a stable foundation for a relationship that's looking like it's gonna last a long time.

I no longer believe in the friend zone.

 

I was "friend zoned" but I "got out of it" by doing nothing other than being a good friend. And now, having spent so much time as her friend, we have a stable foundation for a relationship that's looking like it's gonna last a long time.

 

It is entirely down to experience, I lost a potentially very strong relationship because of it.

Works both ways. If you're going to use a friendship as the basis for a more intimate relationship, then be aware that the friendship itself comes under most strain when cracks start to appear in that relationship, and that breaking up is even more stressful because you both have a heartfelt interest not to hurt each other's feelings, which unfortunately is impossible due to the nature of the process. Being part of the friend zone is basically the other person saying, "I don't want to risk putting us through that experience because I value what we have too much to let us."

 

But yeah, at least the emotional side of things are more secure.

Alright guys my subway date went well and I've managed to get a second date tonight to see Black Swan, now....

 

Is the yawn arm around her shoulder appropriate on the 2nd date or plain out too cliched?

 

You get to watch girl-on-girl porn for a second date?

Lucky.

 

Make whatever move you feel, unless she's really into the movie. You'll feel when the moment is appropriate. It's that voice that questions whether or not you should. You always should.

 

Personally, if I'm paying $20 per movie date, I like to get all my move making/hooking up out of the way before the movie, then after the movie. I paid a lot to see the movie, I like WATCHING it,.

ya got meh

I'm having a bit of trouble deciding whether or not to date this girl. The thing is, i'm a sophmore, 16 years old, and shes an 8th grade whos 14 years old. Is this...errm.. Appropriate?

--

Holy [cabbage]. I learned a lot today.

 

[hide] There is a girl in my grade. I have known her for 5 years now. She is beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, intelligent, witty, passionate, the best. I have always considered her to be my muse. If she were to take a class/elective, you can [bleep]ing bet I signed up for the same classes/electives. She is an inspiration to do well and be my best. (The old Tip.It user Trapical seems to have felt the same way in his old thread, "Love's Power and Influence over People." http://forum.tip.it/topic/228101-loves-power-and-influence-over-people/. ) A characteristic she had though, was that it was almost impossible to make her laugh. So hard to tell her something she would find humorous, I tried everything. Mature, immature, slapstick, subtle, offensive, even sexual. She has a sense of humor and can make a clever/humourous comeback, but it is rare to get her to laugh. On the rare occassions I do get a laugh, I feel like one of the funniest people in the world, whatever it was that made her laugh must have been comedic gold.

 

Well today, I forgot my chemistry notebook in my locker during first period. I left to go get it nonchalantly. And there it was.....the top portion of her locker....wide open. My dream girl's stuff exposed! I know not to take anything important, or anything she may need, but there was one thing I took; her journal that we used to write in during English class(not anymore, mind you). My heart skipped as I hurried to my own locker and dashed it away in my bag. Looking back on this, I regret this. I should have minded my own business and just shut her locker like a normal person would.

 

The day goes by slowly, I can not wait to read this thing. I finally get home and go straight to my room and begin reading whilst lying on my bed. Almost immediately, the journal strikes a chord with me. I am submerged in her thoughts, hopes, and fears. The girl put all of her heart and soul into this thing, I shouldn't be reading it. What the hell have I ever done to get to deserve to read this? Yet I continue. I can see why she rarely laughs, some entries are about fearing her father, of how her parents never appreciate her and how she feels that both her accomplishments and herself are worthless that mean nothing. Some say how she feels hopeless, scared, and she only keeps living not for herself, but the other people in her life, people she only wants to impress. She writes of how she only wants to please others, and doesn't live for herself. She writes of a guy she has been on and off with for 3 years, saying how everyone else only thinks of her as average (If she only knew about me, right?), yet how he makes her feel like the world. She continues on with her abusive family past and wanting to go away, of wanting to be loved, and her fake smile.

 

All in all, some of the entries broke my heart. I feel terrible. My muse is broken. NOW THE PROBLEM IS, what do I do now? I obviously can't tell her straight away. Do I tell her at graduation? (A year and a half away), do I tell her at a class reunion 5, 10 years from now? Sooner? Or do I never tell her at all? I mean, what is my excuse? "Oh yeah, [cabbage], I found your journal containing all the [cabbage] you wanted no one to read, and I went home and read it. Just thought you should know!" DAMN.

 

OH and one more thing, the ending to an entry was "Everything happens for a reason...."Weird... [/hide]

 

If anyone would like to offer advice, go ahead, I will consider anything.

 

That's some fairly deep stuff.

 

First off, I would find a way to get rid of that journal, but make sure she has the chance to get it back. Possibly take it to the lost and found and approach her later in the day. "Hey, I was looking for a binder of mine in the lost and found and I saw a notebook in there with your name on it. Did you lose one?"

 

Do you care about this person in the way that you'd want to date them? Obviously I don't know if you're close with her other than your attempts at making her laugh, but if you do, you know what makes her tick now. Make her feel cared for, like she's important in your life. Make her life worth living for, because knowing that you're special to someone else can mean more than anything in the world.

Holy [cabbage]. I learned a lot today.

 

[hide] There is a girl in my grade. I have known her for 5 years now. She is beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, intelligent, witty, passionate, the best. I have always considered her to be my muse. If she were to take a class/elective, you can [bleep]ing bet I signed up for the same classes/electives. She is an inspiration to do well and be my best. (The old Tip.It user Trapical seems to have felt the same way in his old thread, "Love's Power and Influence over People." http://forum.tip.it/topic/228101-loves-power-and-influence-over-people/. ) A characteristic she had though, was that it was almost impossible to make her laugh. So hard to tell her something she would find humorous, I tried everything. Mature, immature, slapstick, subtle, offensive, even sexual. She has a sense of humor and can make a clever/humourous comeback, but it is rare to get her to laugh. On the rare occassions I do get a laugh, I feel like one of the funniest people in the world, whatever it was that made her laugh must have been comedic gold.

 

Well today, I forgot my chemistry notebook in my locker during first period. I left to go get it nonchalantly. And there it was.....the top portion of her locker....wide open. My dream girl's stuff exposed! I know not to take anything important, or anything she may need, but there was one thing I took; her journal that we used to write in during English class(not anymore, mind you). My heart skipped as I hurried to my own locker and dashed it away in my bag. Looking back on this, I regret this. I should have minded my own business and just shut her locker like a normal person would.

 

The day goes by slowly, I can not wait to read this thing. I finally get home and go straight to my room and begin reading whilst lying on my bed. Almost immediately, the journal strikes a chord with me. I am submerged in her thoughts, hopes, and fears. The girl put all of her heart and soul into this thing, I shouldn't be reading it. What the hell have I ever done to get to deserve to read this? Yet I continue. I can see why she rarely laughs, some entries are about fearing her father, of how her parents never appreciate her and how she feels that both her accomplishments and herself are worthless that mean nothing. Some say how she feels hopeless, scared, and she only keeps living not for herself, but the other people in her life, people she only wants to impress. She writes of how she only wants to please others, and doesn't live for herself. She writes of a guy she has been on and off with for 3 years, saying how everyone else only thinks of her as average (If she only knew about me, right?), yet how he makes her feel like the world. She continues on with her abusive family past and wanting to go away, of wanting to be loved, and her fake smile.

 

All in all, some of the entries broke my heart. I feel terrible. My muse is broken. NOW THE PROBLEM IS, what do I do now? I obviously can't tell her straight away. Do I tell her at graduation? (A year and a half away), do I tell her at a class reunion 5, 10 years from now? Sooner? Or do I never tell her at all? I mean, what is my excuse? "Oh yeah, [cabbage], I found your journal containing all the [cabbage] you wanted no one to read, and I went home and read it. Just thought you should know!" DAMN.

 

OH and one more thing, the ending to an entry was "Everything happens for a reason...."Weird... [/hide]

 

If anyone would like to offer advice, go ahead, I will consider anything.

 

Leave it, forget what you read and place it back where you found it. I take it you were looking for some proof/evidence that she liked you?

 

This is rather complicated and will lead to something you may not nessecarily want to achieve. Do you think that she is potentially in danger from abuse? If so you should talk to somebody about it. Yes she will feel betrayed, hurt and angry at you but in the long term she will be safe and happy even though you may lose contact with her. I personally think you will have to decide between what you want and what is best for you and what is best for her and what she needs. She should eventually realise that you were acting in her best interests if you decide to tell somebody in a position of trust.

 

Regarding whether you tell her, do you think your friendship is strong enough to take the brunt of the [cabbage] that she will throw at you? She will be hurt, scared and frighten that you could potentially bully her. After all, from what you've posted she seems to be one of those people who fears that everybody is out to dislike them and hurt them at every given chance. You will need to show her otherwise and also confess the true extent of the feelings that you have for her, I highly doubt you have done so far. You seem to be too scared that she doesn't feel the same way, the fear of rejection. Hence why you were so excited about you could of potentially but didn't find in her journal.

 

Edit:

 

I'm having a bit of trouble deciding whether or not to date this girl. The thing is, i'm a sophmore, 16 years old, and shes an 8th grade whos 14 years old. Is this...errm.. Appropriate?

 

Somebody may throw the age formula around here (x/2+7 with x being your age so 16/2+7=15). However my rule of thumb (i'm 17) a year below is fine, two years below becomes a bit iffy because of experience issuses and 3 years is just a straight up no.

 

It would help with more information, who is more experienced, are you both sure of feelings, what do your friends think about it/what do you her friends feel etc..

@Justcallmedaddy

 

Lesson learned. Don't go mucking through people's crap. Next time try talking to her like a human instead of stalking her class schedule and rummaging through her locker.

 

@Rsdude099

 

Age is a number. If she's mature enough, go for it.

@Rsdude099

 

Age is a number. If she's mature enough, go for it.

That's all fine and dandy, and I share your sentiments, until parents get involved. That's another tangent though.

stay safe, Lex

Well get some balls and hand it to her tomorrow then. Own up to the mistakes you made and if she is kind enough she will forgive you.

 

Oh, btw, if that was your attempt at humour god help her.

R U still spying on me?

Well get some balls and hand it to her tomorrow then. Own up to the mistakes you made and if she is kind enough she will forgive you.

 

Oh, btw, if that was your attempt at humour god help her.

 

Haha fair enough. I mean, [bleep], I have the potential to share this with all of my friends and teachers.

 

And the humor part wasn't a main point. I mean she hardly laughs with me, our peers, teachers, movies, shows, etc. And I thought my voyuer joke deserved at least a 5/10....

 

Yes you have the potential to be a total [bleep] about it though you won't be.