"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[RpgGamer]

"I might be lesbian" sounds like an excuse to me

 

try to hook her up with a chick and watch her squirm :twisted:

[Giordano]

"I might be lesbian" sounds like an excuse to me

 

Yup.

 

Take it from my experience: avoid girls who are "bisexual". They are either seeking attention and will fill your life with useless drama, or, are unsure what they want and you shouldn't bother with them until they're ready (aka, older).

[iamcoool11]

"I might be lesbian" sounds like an excuse to me

 

Yup.

 

Take it from my experience: avoid girls who are "bisexual". They are either seeking attention and will fill your life with useless drama, or, are unsure what they want and you shouldn't bother with them until they're ready (aka, older).

No, no, she's seriously bisexual. I guess your second point probably stands, but she's accepted it years ago (I asked her and other people who were at this school before me). Trust me, i can tell she's sincere about bisexual.

 

Now, the lesbian thing, i might take as an excuse, but not i a bad way. When i mentioned "bad relationships" earlier, I meant like, coerced by her boyfriend to do "sexualy regrettable things". I think she might be a little scared to be in another relationship with a guy after that. Though she is probably not really lesbian, I'm going to have to stay in the friend-zone for a while, I think.

[RpgGamer]

or respectfully permanently.

 

If she's willing to falsify her sexuality, you're better off chasing other girls until she decides she's even remotely ready for a relationship, if ever

[Giordano]

"I might be lesbian" sounds like an excuse to me

 

Yup.

 

Take it from my experience: avoid girls who are "bisexual". They are either seeking attention and will fill your life with useless drama, or, are unsure what they want and you shouldn't bother with them until they're ready (aka, older).

No, no, she's seriously bisexual. I guess your second point probably stands, but she's accepted it years ago (I asked her and other people who were at this school before me). Trust me, i can tell she's sincere about bisexual.

 

Now, the lesbian thing, i might take as an excuse, but not i a bad way. When i mentioned "bad relationships" earlier, I meant like, coerced by her boyfriend to do "sexualy regrettable things". I think she might be a little scared to be in another relationship with a guy after that. Though she is probably not really lesbian, I'm going to have to stay in the friend-zone for a while, I think.

Orrrr she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.

 

It's not your fault what she did with her past boyfriends, but if that keeps hindering her then she can't move forward. It's going to be hard, but just move on.

 

It's wise not to spend your energy and time on people that will hardly, if ever, give you attention in return.

[iamcoool11]

Huh. Thanks for being frank, guys. I guess I'll just go after the other (admittably subpar) girls at my school, until she decides on if she was being truthful or not. I just want to stress, I really think she was being genuine, but it might just be my naïveté. The next time I post will probably be in a week or so, maybe less.

[Low Levelled]

All I have to say is, ouch.

[RpgGamer]

Huh. Thanks for being frank, guys. I guess I'll just go after the other (admittably subpar) girls at my school, until she decides on if she was being truthful or not. I just want to stress, I really think she was being genuine, but it might just be my naïveté. The next time I post will probably be in a week or so, maybe less.

 

Girls do exist outside of your highschool ;)

[Randox]

Going back to the my being in a similar position in High School for a minute...

 

Most of us had circles of friends in other schools as well. We all either new people from the schools we we're in before, or from people we just knew growing up. Most of the dating done by the people I knew knew best was with people who went to other schools in the area. For every inner school relationship, your probably had at least 3 inter school ones, plus other love interests that never developed into relationships.

 

Now, if you don't already know people from other schools. I'm not really sure how you would go about doing that. Best bet would probably be your friends, assuming any of them have friends outside of the school.

[Vezon Dash]

Huh. Thanks for being frank, guys. I guess I'll just go after the other (admittably subpar) girls at my school, until she decides on if she was being truthful or not. I just want to stress, I really think she was being genuine, but it might just be my naïveté. The next time I post will probably be in a week or so, maybe less.

 

Don't go after girls just to go after girls... It is a waste of your time, money, and dignity. You don't want to be that guy who just chases girls around who looks blatantly *Forever Alone* do you?

[iamcoool11]

Huh. Thanks for being frank, guys. I guess I'll just go after the other (admittably subpar) girls at my school, until she decides on if she was being truthful or not. I just want to stress, I really think she was being genuine, but it might just be my naïveté. The next time I post will probably be in a week or so, maybe less.

 

Don't go after girls just to go after girls... It is a waste of your time, money, and dignity. You don't want to be that guy who just chases girls around who looks blatantly *Forever Alone* do you?

I guess you're right... I just feel like I have a sort of a hole in my life now, because I don't have anyone I can think about like that.

 

Girls do exist outside of your highschool ;)

How do you suggest I go about meeting some of them? I haven't exactly kept in touch with people from my old school.

Flyingjj, if you're still reading this, do you have any suggestions for places I could go, things I could do?

[Dexek]

Huh. Thanks for being frank, guys. I guess I'll just go after the other (admittably subpar) girls at my school, until she decides on if she was being truthful or not. I just want to stress, I really think she was being genuine, but it might just be my naïveté. The next time I post will probably be in a week or so, maybe less.

 

In my experience it's easiest just to live life, and have fun. Generally this makes you a confident, fun individual, and girls just flock to that. Maybe it's just me, but I've never seen the point in pursuing women just for the sake of being someone with a girl they're working on. In my mind it's all about being friendly and having a good time with everyone. Do your best to make everyone feel great, men and women alike, and you'll find that women can't leave you alone.

[Assume Nothing]

I like to think of it this way; if you can't get a lover, a puppy is the next best substitute.

 

[beat] in a non sexual context.

[Kaida23]

I don't know, girlfriends are a lot less messy...but the puppy is more likely to kiss you if you screw up. :P

[RpgGamer]

Huh. Thanks for being frank, guys. I guess I'll just go after the other (admittably subpar) girls at my school, until she decides on if she was being truthful or not. I just want to stress, I really think she was being genuine, but it might just be my naïveté. The next time I post will probably be in a week or so, maybe less.

 

In my experience it's easiest just to live life, and have fun. Generally this makes you a confident, fun individual, and girls just flock to that. Maybe it's just me, but I've never seen the point in pursuing women just for the sake of being someone with a girl they're working on. In my mind it's all about being friendly and having a good time with everyone. Do your best to make everyone feel great, men and women alike, and you'll find that women can't leave you alone.

 

The truth is strong in this one

[Aten]

Not to mention finding a good hobby :P

[Shiny]

I'm having only success with my girlfriend :thumbup:

[Assume Nothing]

I'm having only success with my girlfriend :thumbup:

 

Let's hope it lasts then.

[Nekyia]

I had a big crush on a guy who was in school with me, but he had a girlfriend. And I've just recently hung out with him and found out that they broke up a couple weeks ago. My roommate says if I want any sort of serious relationship with the guy I should wait a couple of months before trying anything otherwise it'll just be a rebound for him. I talked to another guy and he said that's not true and that anything after a week or so wouldn't be a rebound. We hung out the other night and did some drinking and watched a movie and semi-cuddled on the couch. Which I would like to think is a good sign, right? I was planning on asking him if he wanted to do supper this weekend and I was going to cook it for him since he's really helped me out lately with trying to fix my car. So I was just wondering if you guys thought there were anything true about any of that rebound stuff, like should I wait a while before making any kind of move?

 

It doesn't depend on how long you wait, it depends on the person. It will also depend on what kind of relationship he had with the girl, and how that ended. Based on the time you mentioned that you and him have spent so far, I see no problem with inviting him over for supper. You might want to say something along the lines of "because you helped me so much with my car, I only think making you supper is the right thing to do". It also is important to question whether you want a relationship with this guy, or something less long-term, as well as what you believe he would want. Your roommate is right in the sense that, if the relationship ended a certain way, the guy might be straight up looking for a rebound and not even considering another relationship, however just the same he could be the exact opposite kind of person. It's basically up to you to differentiate the two. Obviously hanging out with him and letting things get a bit physical is no problem, but if he pressures for sex right away, you have an idea of what his focus is. If he is willing to wait, it obviously paints him a different colour. In the end it'll come down to your own discretion. Best of luck!

 

Well I phoned him the other night and asked him what he was doing this weekend, and it turns out he has his daughter this weekend and they are going to visit with his parents. I didn't bother asking about supper and I'll just try again next week. Hopefully he'll be free next weekend, and then I'll go from there :)

[ThatAZNKid]

This might be a bit graphic but I really need help.

I was hanging out with a girl and her friend yesterday at the park at night-time. We end up hanging out by a box where no one can see us, and I ask the friend to leave us alone for a while, and she did so.

We end up kissing, and I ask her if she wanted to 'use her mouth on my you know what' and she complied and did it for a few seconds and comes back up, saying shes not comfortable. At this point, I wasn't sure if she was serious or just teasing, because beforehand I asked her what her boundaries were so I would be able to respect it, and she said she had none. So a minute later, I say 'please?' in her ear and she goes and does it. Sure enough, within 20 seconds we get interuptted as our ride home was here.

She ends up going home with her friend and 2 other friends who were already at her house, and ends up crying. I get a text from her number [assuming her friend is using her phone] saying the following;

 

" Do me a favor and delete this number you know what you did is considered rap3 and she doesnt want anything to do with you, you piece of crap. Dont have any contact with her whatsoever. How dare you force her to do such a thing. Shes still a little girl. And she was scared. Dont ever have us catch her around you again. Or there'll be trouble.

 

So what I'm thinking is, what the hell? I asked her if she was down to do it and she went ahead and did it. I didn't pressure her at all, all I said was please, and I suppose to them it is considered rape?

The mom has found out and is trying to have me listed as a sexual offender. We are both under 18.

I really just don't know what to do. I need help, guys. :sad:

[Iamdan]

Find out what she told her friends and family, she may have been embarrassed about it and twisted the story. If what you say is true it wasn't rape and you shouldn't worry.

[ThatAZNKid]

She said to them that I pressured her and that when I asked the 2nd time, she said no (which she didnt) and I still made her. Yeah, I pushed her head down gently to 'guide' her there, but if I really wanted to actually MAKE her, don't you think I would've just pushed her head down HARD and made her? Apparently I pressured her because I said 'please'.

[Tim]

People are manipulative, and from personal experience, especially women. I've seen countless women claim "omg I was raped" but when you say go to the police etc etc, they go " no no, I dont want to make a scene".

 

You're blabbering to everyone but not telling the police? THAT IS MAKING A SCENE YOU ATTENTION [bleep].

 

Also she cannot have you claimed as a sex offender as (I assume) you're both over 16, she agreed to it, and without any form of proof you apparently "raped" her, that's classed as harassment and threatening/blackmail towards you, which is against the law itself. Gah, I hate women like this.

[RpgGamer]

you're not 18 yet, you'll be fine, and if this is how she's going to act you're better off not talking to her anyway

[decebal]

This might be a bit graphic but I really need help.

I was hanging out with a girl and her friend yesterday at the park at night-time. We end up hanging out by a box where no one can see us, and I ask the friend to leave us alone for a while, and she did so.

We end up kissing, and I ask her if she wanted to 'use her mouth on my you know what' and she complied and did it for a few seconds and comes back up, saying shes not comfortable. At this point, I wasn't sure if she was serious or just teasing, because beforehand I asked her what her boundaries were so I would be able to respect it, and she said she had none. So a minute later, I say 'please?' in her ear and she goes and does it. Sure enough, within 20 seconds we get interuptted as our ride home was here.

She ends up going home with her friend and 2 other friends who were already at her house, and ends up crying. I get a text from her number [assuming her friend is using her phone] saying the following;

 

" Do me a favor and delete this number you know what you did is considered rap3 and she doesnt want anything to do with you, you piece of crap. Dont have any contact with her whatsoever. How dare you force her to do such a thing. Shes still a little girl. And she was scared. Dont ever have us catch her around you again. Or there'll be trouble.

 

So what I'm thinking is, what the hell? I asked her if she was down to do it and she went ahead and did it. I didn't pressure her at all, all I said was please, and I suppose to them it is considered rape?

The mom has found out and is trying to have me listed as a sexual offender. We are both under 18.

I really just don't know what to do. I need help, guys. :sad:

 

If I were you, I'd write a formal apology letter to her and her parents, explaining what happened in your eyes, but that you deeply regretted what happened.

 

To be honest, your case reminded me of this one:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobe_Bryant_sexual_assault_case

 

Here's the statement he released through his attorney, and the part of it that is most relevant to your situation:

First, I want to apologize directly to the young woman involved in this incident. I want to apologize to her for my behavior that night and for the consequences she has suffered in the past year. Although this year has been incredibly difficult for me personally, I can only imagine the pain she has had to endure. I also want to apologize to her parents and family members, and to my family and friends and supporters, and to the citizens of Eagle, Colo.

I also want to make it clear that I do not question the motives of this young woman. No money has been paid to this woman. She has agreed that this statement will not be used against me in the civil case. Although I truly believe this encounter between us was consensual, I recognize now that she did not and does not view this incident the same way I did. After months of reviewing discovery, listening to her attorney, and even her testimony in person, I now understand how she feels that she did not consent to this encounter.

 

I issue this statement today fully aware that while one part of this case ends today, another remains. I understand that the civil case against me will go forward. That part of this case will be decided by and between the parties directly involved in the incident and will no longer be a financial or emotional drain on the citizens of the state of Colorado.

 

This is what I'd do, but others might disagree with my methods.