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Noobs say the funniest things!


xXAbyssalXx

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dude i have a friend who owns half of jedx and he asked

 

 

 

Isn't that a shipping company?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nah, I think the shipping company is FedX.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeh, If u watch Cast Away it is Fed ex

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Mony333

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This isnt mine so dont give me credit

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob starts following me and says:I got a iron kite how do i fly it

 

 

 

me: you drop it on the ground and w8

 

 

 

(by now the kite has gone because no 1 picked it up)

 

 

 

noob:where has it gone?

 

 

 

me: it flew all the way to varrock :lol:

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ok im wearing my legands cape noob coms up in ardougane

 

 

 

noob: thats capes ugly its for noobs

 

 

 

me:well can you run past tons level 83s

 

 

 

me:kill a lvl 187 3 times kill a lvl 106,96 and 100 2 times

 

 

 

noob:wow you so cool can i be your frnd

 

 

 

me:well i guess so

 

 

 

noob:yay here this ugly party hat thing

 

 

 

me:uh thank you very much

 

 

 

me to my frnd second later:holy mutha capin friger snit

 

 

 

noob: starts following me i just walk in the legands guild and go down and train my atk

 

 

 

noob pms: can i have that red party hat bak i found it worth lots

 

 

 

me pms: no its mine now i it goes for like 20m

 

 

 

noob pms: wow thats big number i goona go cry

 

 

 

me thinking:well he did give it to me cuz i awsome

 

 

 

(frogber logs out and goes to chuck rocks at cars wth his frnds

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I was bored in Lumbridge and decided to maybe find some scammers to report. Then I fell across this Scaper.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Guy: Follow for auction of 100k!

 

 

 

Me: * follows *

 

 

 

Some other guys: * follows *

 

 

 

Guy: * walks behind Lumbridge Castle * Okay, this is how it works. You trade me stuff, I check that it is real and I give it back to you.

 

 

 

Other guys: * starts talking about him being a scammer *

 

 

 

Me: * trades two Iron Arrows *

 

 

 

Guy: * gives it back * Highest bid is 2 Iron Arrows!

 

 

 

Other guys: * leaves, one after one, until it's just me left *

 

 

 

Me: Right, only me left. And I have highest bid. I win.

 

 

 

Guy: No u dont.

 

 

 

Me: Yes, I do.

 

 

 

Guy: I doesn't count! * Home Ports *

 

 

 

Me: ... * walks over to Home Port appearing-place *

 

 

 

Me: Yes, it does.

 

 

 

Guy: How did you do that?!

 

 

 

Me: ...

 

 

 

Guy: * logs out *

Owner of Quest Cape since 11/9/2007 23:30! Working my butt off to get it back.

 

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ok im wearing my legands cape noob coms up in ardougane

 

 

 

noob: thats capes ugly its for noobs

 

 

 

me:well can you run past tons level 83s

 

 

 

me:kill a lvl 187 3 times kill a lvl 106,96 and 100 2 times

 

 

 

noob:wow you so cool can i be your frnd

 

 

 

me:well i guess so

 

 

 

noob:yay here this ugly party hat thing

 

 

 

me:uh thank you very much

 

 

 

me to my frnd second later:holy mutha capin friger snit

 

 

 

noob: starts following me i just walk in the legands guild and go down and train my atk

 

 

 

noob pms: can i have that red party hat bak i found it worth lots

 

 

 

me pms: no its mine now i it goes for like 20m

 

 

 

noob pms: wow thats big number i goona go cry

 

 

 

me thinking:well he did give it to me cuz i awsome

 

 

 

(frogber logs out and goes to chuck rocks at cars wth his frnds

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-.- Please just dont make stories up . . . -.-

 

 

 

Its so oblivious :-$

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

edit: W00T!!!!!!!!!!! 50 pages of noobieness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :XD: :thumbsup:

Quest cape obtained at combat level 83, march 07.

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i was going through the gate from lumby to al karida:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

newbie: how did u get through that gate?

 

 

 

me: u have to pay 10 coins, but since i am a friend of al karida i can pass for free.

 

 

 

newbie: how do i become a friend?

 

 

 

me: hmm... try adding "al karida" to ur friendlist.

 

 

 

newbie: he's not online.

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This happens every time I use the shanty pass to get sent to port sarim jail. I can't really say there noobs, many people don't know about this but it's still anoying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

him: How you get in there?

 

 

 

me: I was arrested (I never actualy explain the trick)

 

 

 

him: How?

 

 

 

me: I said I was an outlaw

 

 

 

him: to who?

 

 

 

me: shanty

 

 

 

him: whos that?

 

 

 

me: the guy who arrested me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and thats on a good day. Some people just insult me, report me, follow me because I wont explain. I need something that would show me if theres anyone in the jail before i get sent there, so I coiuld world hop. Its not all that funny but try it sometime and wait for someone to come before you leave (works best if you are sent to the cell that you have to picklock).

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lol n00b scammer: (IN PMs)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob: sir, plz state ur password and log off for 5 mins

 

 

 

(nothing)

 

 

 

noob: sir, plz state ur pass and log off!

 

 

 

(nothing)

 

 

 

noob: sir, if u do not log off u will be banned

 

 

 

(nothing)

 

 

 

noob: sir, plz log off or u will be banned

 

 

 

(reported :thumbsup: :XD: )

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Ok, I was in Lumbridge castle and this guy started doing the armor trim scam. I report him and tell everyone it's a scam. He comes up to me and this conversation follows (I'll sum it up, it lasted for like 15 min)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noob-Why did u report me

 

 

 

Me-Because armor trimming is a scam

 

 

 

Noob-No it isn't

 

 

 

Me-Yes, It is

 

 

 

Noob- I reported u for!

 

 

 

Me-For what?

 

 

 

Noob-Item Scamming

 

 

 

Me- I didn't item scam, u did

 

 

 

Noob-, u were trying to trim armor

 

 

 

me-ur such a noob

 

 

 

noob-fine, i'll show u my main account!

 

 

 

Me-fine

 

 

 

(tells me mains name. logs of, and logs onto it)

 

 

 

Noob-See, check out my lvl 54 main! (i was lvl 60 at the time)

 

 

 

Me-ok, so u have a main, so what

 

 

 

Noob, I've had members for 2 years, jealous aren't u

 

 

 

Me-U had members for 2 years and ur only lvl 54? Why would i be jealous

 

 

 

Noob- Because you **** your mom and **** your dads ****

 

 

 

Me-reported again

 

 

 

Noob-Ur a **** *** face

 

 

 

Me-good for me

 

 

 

Noob-im gonna report u now for real world item trading! noob! (he logs out)

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i have one...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was selling mith bars in world 1 fally when this noob says " follo to win 1 mil!" me and a few others followed. knowing it's a scam, I asked him to show me the money, and he had it so i tagged along. Then he said we were going to play the "trust game". I traded over 1 mith bar and he traded it back, then i told everyone else not to trade, and ill split the 1 mil.

 

 

 

everyone agreed but the noob, who ran off saying " i am going to find people that really want to play!!!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

later..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i saw him running off weilding a rune h1 shield and another noob asking for it back lol :shock:

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destroys you with a hyper beam from my rayquaza and takes the cheese
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lol i had no part in half of this, but i witnessed it. ok, i was f2p pking in edge world 3 when a lvl 97 in monk comes up to me, note: im 83 at the time,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

97:no armour me

 

 

 

me:...if i wanted to fight armour off i wouldnt have worn armour

 

 

 

97:noob you know youd lose

 

 

 

me:lol ur 14 lvls higher than me, does that make a difference?

 

 

 

97: fine ill fight u with armour brb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

he never comes back

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

heres a different one, same setting, maybe the same lvl 97, and theres a 106 in there. 97 in monk, 106 in rune

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

97:no armour me

 

 

 

106:no noob, go buy armour

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

lol i found this hilarious, then i fell out of my chair. then a 98 walked up and killed the 97 while he wasnt paying attention

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Ok seeing as this is my first post on this forum ill say hi everyone first :mrgreen:...anyway...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ive got two fairly funny ones....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Guy mining essence: Noobs!!

 

 

 

Me: How hypocritical (usually i dont do this, but ths guy was annoying)

 

 

 

Guy mining essence: Reported!

 

 

 

Guy mining essence: What does hypo whatever mean?

 

 

 

Me: -.-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not really that funny, but it cracks me up when people report you for words they dont know the meaning of.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyhow...second one (in essence mines again)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dude in mines: How do i get out plzzzz

 

 

 

Dude in mines: Cmon...i been in here like an hourrrr

 

 

 

Dude in mines: Let me outttt

 

 

 

Other guy: Use portal over there

 

 

 

Dude in mines: I dont see no portal plzz tell truth

 

 

 

Dude in mines: Let me ouut

 

 

 

* Dude in mines gets evil chicken*

 

 

 

Dude in mines: OMG

 

 

 

Dude in mines: Im quitting this game

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That made me laugh :roll:

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Ok so i recently lost members on my main and thought meh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So im now training up my new non combat skiller!! (my new main also)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOB:autoer

 

 

 

ME:MALFUNCTION CODE 1458216

 

 

 

NOOB:its alive everyone bank your stuff!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8-) i actually fell of my chair with laughter

 

 

 

OMG thats awesome. I just about fell off my chair right now!

Knowledge is power.

Power corrupts.

Study hard, be evil.

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i was fooling around on my female character with some dude (you know, when you use emo's that look like you are... making babies with eachother) i envited him to my house to pleasure me on the table, and we had lots of fun (and screenies lol), and had some realy dirty conversations. then, after half an hour, we were sitting on chairs, watching the fire and chatting

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me:say

 

 

 

him:yes?

 

 

 

me:can i tell you a secret

 

 

 

him:yea, sure darling

 

 

 

me:i'm a man

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

then i expelled all guests, threw him off my friends list (as he was a complete stranger) and tele'd to lumbridge; boy i wish i could've read his toughts at that moment \' he got punk'd

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EDIT: he wasn't a noob, he was realy nice actually, i wish i could've kept him on my list without getting flamed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

omg! u took pics??....i hope u never run for puplic office...

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5% of people want an original signature if you are one of these people don't put this in your signature

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half of these are made up lol, but still funny

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

best one i saw was when this guy said sellingburnt pizza shield 5k for ages in draynor bank. I finally went over to see what this `shield' was, turns out it was an obby shield (because they look like burnt pizza :D )

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...ok that was made up <.<

ive quit because of the dumb side of the RS community, not because i play too much (like 1 hour a day)

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dont get lured!

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i bet this is funny:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob:buying dragon platelegs 200k!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me:sure here you go (i give him bronze platelegs)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob:gee thanks!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

he leaves only to pm me later

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob:hey these are bronze,thanks!! i heard bronze is better then dragon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me:your welcome

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me thinking: dude this guy is stupid

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wow, you are cruel. :ohnoes:

 

 

 

You're the kind of person that makes people quit runescape early. If it wasn't for you people, RuneScape would have twice as many people because most of the new players wouldn't quit.

 

 

 

That was just plain scamming. :x You probably ruined an entire career of a 9-year-old's life. :cry:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edit: Nvm, you were probably making it up anyway. ::' But it's still not funny. :notalk:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

dude i made it up

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Click Here!

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wow the past couple of days ive been going straight from my favorites to this thread (yea its on my favorites for like 3 months now) and i was wondering "why is there so many new posts in the past few days??? :?: :?: " then today i go to tip.it homepage and see the hot topic is this.

 

 

 

anyway....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

this is my friend sort of, on a member world. out of nowhere he pms me saying...

 

 

 

noob: dude can i have 1k deaths

 

 

 

me: no sell your cat in ardougne (i know he had one)

 

 

 

noob: pllzzz i need deaths for my mage

 

 

 

me: so do i, but u don't see me begging, go buy them or rc them

 

 

 

noob: my rc is 10

 

 

 

me: then buy them

 

 

 

noob: but i don't have money

 

 

 

me: well u got to work for stuff, pick flax and sell it like i told u last time

 

 

 

noob: but that's boringgggg

 

 

 

at that point i just turned my chat to friends and removed him

 

 

 

btw, about him picking flax like he used to, that is how we met cause he begged and i told him to go to seers.

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Heres the noobiest thing, I was walking by lumbridge and this lvl 44 follows me and says "interesting" Me:....., Him: he logs and then 30 mintures later "wizzz3451" comes into rs(off tutorial) and sees me, i saw he copped my name so i started talking to him. I got a screenie of me telling him he stole my name :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :evil: :roll:

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Got whip back 2nd time =] now im merchenting

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This happened few weeks ago in lumbridge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noob:can you take me to vorrock? (yes he spelled "Vorrock :lol: )

 

 

 

Me: If you mean Varrock thenyes, i can take u there.

 

 

 

Noob:i will follow you

 

 

 

*We go and when we are near varrock he say:

 

 

 

Noob: Ur luring me to wilderness!

 

 

 

Me: no am not!

 

 

 

Noob: Reported

 

 

 

Me: For which rule?

 

 

 

Noob: Reported again

 

 

 

Me: Stupid noob..

 

 

 

*He runs away

The clock is ticking, and your time is running out, mortals.

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Tehe...this just happend recently in lumbridge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

scammer: Trimming armor up to addy free!

 

 

 

noob: Omg! trim mine pleeeeaaase. (he has full mith...which doesnt even come in trimmed)

 

 

 

scammer: Sure, pass it over.

 

 

 

me: Don't do it man...it's a scam

 

 

 

noob: shutup noob! you just want it for youself!

 

 

 

Me:...w/e, ull regret it tho.

 

 

 

-scammer trades noob and scammer gets noobs armor...-

 

 

 

-scammer logs off-

 

 

 

noob: Omg!!! what a scammer!! Im reporting!

 

 

 

me: ...toldya

 

 

 

noob: Ill report you to if you dont shutop!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*5 minutes later*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob: Trimming armor up to addy for fre!!

 

 

 

me: -.-'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tehe

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i bet this is funny:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob:buying dragon platelegs 200k!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me:sure here you go (i give him bronze platelegs)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob:gee thanks!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

he leaves only to pm me later

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob:hey these are bronze,thanks!! i heard bronze is better then dragon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me:your welcome

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me thinking: dude this guy is stupid

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wow, you are cruel. :ohnoes:

 

 

 

You're the kind of person that makes people quit runescape early. If it wasn't for you people, RuneScape would have twice as many people because most of the new players wouldn't quit.

 

 

 

That was just plain scamming. :x You probably ruined an entire career of a 9-year-old's life. :cry:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edit: Nvm, you were probably making it up anyway. ::' But it's still not funny. :notalk:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

dude i made it up

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

lmfao thats hilarious rotflmfao

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Ok, i got some really good ones.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

story1:

 

 

 

setting- I had just finished dragon slayer and was walking around in lumby with my full rune,when a lvl 3 comes up(note: this was 1 1/2 yrs ago so not perfect). He imidiantly starts following me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob: mke me cpper sord ( he speleld horribly, so future ones will be spelled correctly)

 

 

 

me: huh?

 

 

 

noob: make me a copper sord

 

 

 

me: sord?

 

 

 

noob: sword

 

 

 

noob: make me a copper sword

 

 

 

me: whats a copper sword?

 

 

 

noob: the brown sword, make me one.

 

 

 

me: brown swords are bronze.

 

 

 

noob: no there not

 

 

 

(trades noob)

 

 

 

(noob accepts)

 

 

 

(shows bronze sword)

 

 

 

me: you mean that kinda sword?

 

 

 

noob: no a copper sword, not bronz!

 

 

 

me:...

 

 

 

noob: make me a copper sword!

 

 

 

Me: theres no such thing as a copper sword! copper alone cant make any kind of metal!

 

 

 

noob: not uh! havnt u ever heard of copper pipes!

 

 

 

me: not on runescape...

 

 

 

- so this went on for some time...-

 

 

 

-continuing on...-

 

 

 

noob: make me a copper sword!!!1!!

 

 

 

me: FINE ILL MAKE YOU A FREAKIN COPPER SWORD!!!!

 

 

 

noob: hurray!copper sword!

 

 

 

me:...

 

 

 

( so i think.. and think some more...)

 

 

 

Me: but to make it you hv to use a special anvil thats in wildy, ok?

 

 

 

noob: ok!

 

 

 

( so i bank all my stuff except rune scimmy, and we go into wildy)

 

 

 

( i keep walking but i cant attack so i go deeper)

 

 

 

( we're in lvl 12 wilderness when all a sudden...

 

 

 

a bolt spell comes from no where and hits a 7 on him, another comes and hits a 3)

 

 

 

(noob has died)

 

 

 

me: wtf?

 

 

 

pker: heh heh heh , i owned that noob!

 

 

 

Me: lolz! good job man =D>

 

 

 

so after all that happened i went to fally to mine some iron when all a sudden...

 

 

 

noob pm: make me copper sword!

 

 

 

(adds noob)

 

 

 

me pm: omg leave me alone!

 

 

 

me pm: theres no such thing as a copper sword!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

noob pm:i want a copper sword!!

 

 

 

me pm: OMFG! THERES NO SUCH THING AS A COPPER SWORD! :x

 

 

 

me pm: if you didnt find that out on tutorial island your a freakin idiot!

 

 

 

(noob has logged out)

 

 

 

i think i hurt the lil noobs heart... :shock:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

story 2:

 

 

 

setting- fishing guild, smaller docks, im fishing sharks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

somedude: buying d hally

 

 

 

lvl122: ill sell 500k

 

 

 

me: omg thats way over priced! there only worht 325k

 

 

 

lvl122: oh...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

either she bought that account or has no idea how much things go for anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

story 3:

 

 

 

setting- wildy, me and my friend are pking, because he just got 94 mage and wanted to try ice barrage. so we see a lvl 78(noob) and my friend ice barrages him...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noob: omg! wtf!

 

 

 

me: ha ha ha ha, pwned!

 

 

 

nooB: wtf is this!

 

 

 

my friend ice barrages him 2 more times and he dies

 

 

 

friend: w00t! rune plate, rune legs, d long!

 

 

 

me: sweet! :thumbsup:

 

 

 

noob pm: wtf!!!!

 

 

 

(adds noob, noob has logged on)

 

 

 

me pm: ?

 

 

 

noob pm: wtf was that maN!

 

 

 

me pm: ...eh?

 

 

 

noob pm: i coudlnt move! you put an ice cube on me!

 

 

 

me pm: i didnt do that..

 

 

 

noob pm: where'd you buy that ice cube!? i want one!

 

 

 

me pm: .... rofl! :XD:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

another reason why noobs shouldnt go in wildy -.-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

story 4:Coming soon to a thread near you! ( lol i forgot it when i typed all the others....)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edit: w00t! i remmebered!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

story 4:

 

 

 

setting- I am in varrock, just walked from lumby, i am on my pker pure.

 

 

 

I get a pm from a guy named javamod ( and bunch of numbers)

 

 

 

(whole story in pm)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

javamod(noob): hello sir

 

 

 

(adds javamod, java mod has logged on)

 

 

 

me: hello

 

 

 

noob: would you like to be safer while playing runescape?

 

 

 

noob: just give me your pass and i can make it safer.

 

 

 

me: this is a lame scam... jagex staff has a gold crown.

 

 

 

noob: im not jagex staff, Iam a mod for java, the program that runs runscape.

 

 

 

(reports for password scamming)

 

 

 

me: right...

 

 

 

noob: plz give me your pass so we can make your account safer.

 

 

 

me:" pla give me your pass so we can make your account safer"

 

 

 

noob:this isn't funny sir

 

 

 

me: this isnt funny sir

 

 

 

noob:if you dont stop im gonna make the program different so ur account gets deleted.

 

 

 

(reports for bug abuse)

 

 

 

( adds noob to ignore)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

thats it for now, ill add more if i rememebr any or encounter a funny noob.

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lol this happened today \'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

scamer: follow to win 200k

 

 

 

a couple of noobs and me follow

 

 

 

me:probaly a scam

 

 

 

scammer:is not!

 

 

 

noob:idk

 

 

 

scamer:ok works like this give me ur offer for the 200k best offer wins dont worry ull get ur money back

 

 

 

me:i doupt it

 

 

 

scamer:shut up noob!

 

 

 

noob gives scammer 10k

 

 

 

scamer:ok its at 10k

 

 

 

scamer gives money back

 

 

 

(this contineus till gets up to 90k)

 

 

 

scamer:ok next offer wins

 

 

 

noob gives 100k

 

 

 

scamer: ha ha

 

 

 

scamer loggs off

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

scamers these days sad.. -.-

 

 

 

i mean it was obvious he was lvl13! like lvl13 is gonna have 200k to give away(no offence lvl 13s :anxious: )

mth+dragon2.png

i hope i did sig right lol

http://www.freewebs.com/rsrandomactsofweirdness/

^ya i was bored lol

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ok so im killing black knights then this noob (about lvl 35) comes up to me and asks if he can have some help with the quest up there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me:u need to get to that room over there and listen at the grate

 

 

 

noob:how do i get there?

 

 

 

me: just use the ladders and some logic

 

 

 

noob: whats logic?

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