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Noobs say the funniest things!


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one time when i was just picking onions for some reason, this girl walks up to me and :uhh: well u can see what happened...

 

 

 

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i was laughing so hard by the end :lol:

 

 

 

w00t first post of pg 56

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A strange lady travels across the land offering sandwiches and gets crazy mad when you pick the wrong one. She is the sandwich lady, and I hate her with every fiber of my being. DEATH TO SANDWICH LADY! :thumbsup:
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You can't imagine the stories I've seen in my travels... here's the repeating one, in generic, choose your own noobventure format:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

N00b (via PM): I am jagex/java/AG/mod, and we are troubleshooting/investigating a scam/giving away lottery. Please provide your username/password/security answers so that we may do so.

 

 

 

Me: Funny. Most mods I know have a crown next to their name just like mine.

 

 

 

*N00b logs*

 

 

 

:shame:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-DP

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YOU! YES, YOU! GET OFF MY LAWN!

 

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My friend acts like a noob sometimes

 

 

 

Him: Can I have 100k for a g maul?

 

 

 

Me: Lemme think, no

 

 

 

I act kinda mean like that because my friends beg me alot

 

 

 

*2 minutes later*

 

 

 

Him: None of my friends will give me money

 

 

 

Him: They're so selfish

 

 

 

Me: Well, maybe they don't want to give you money that they

 

 

 

Me: Worked for? Why don't you go out and make some?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is my other friend, I thought this conversation was funny :thumbsup: We were ranging ogres by Castle Wars

 

 

 

Me: Hello

 

 

 

Him: Hello, Range level?

 

 

 

Me: 54, you?

 

 

 

Him: Nice

 

 

 

Me: -.- It's not that good

 

 

 

Him: Yes it is, mines only 50

 

 

 

He happens too be wearing full black dragon hide

 

 

 

Me: Uh hu, and that's why you're wearing full black d hide

 

 

 

Him: It's black chain and plate legs

 

 

 

Me: Ok...

 

 

 

*Looks him up in highscores, he has 71 range*

 

 

 

Me: Then why does it says 72 on your highscores?

 

 

 

He continues denying this for many minutes

 

 

 

I think it's funny, and can tell he's messing around

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was walking in Falador and this noob comes up to me

 

 

 

Noob: Will you have cex with me?

 

 

 

Me: *Decides to mess around with him* Okay, I live in Seattle *lies*

 

 

 

Noob: No, I mean just on here

 

 

 

Me: *Gets bored and walks away*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have this friend that is rather wierd and tells me he loves me every month or so...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can't think of anything else :-k

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**The Old Nite has died of cancer.Please add this to your signature so we will remember this legendary runescaper.**

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This isn't really a noob talking, but whatever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Friend logs in*

 

 

 

Me:Hey, you havent been on in a while

 

 

 

Friend:Yeah my harddrive crashed and i had to go buy a new one

 

 

 

Me:Wow, that sucks...

 

 

 

Friend:Yeah about 700 dollars worth of suck

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Enjoy :)

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hehehehe:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noobpm:yo my names tyler give me your pass

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

mepm:do i look that stupid?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noobpm:...mabye...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

mepm:lol(thank you, your abuse report has been sent)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

edit:ooooooh i remembered another one! here goes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob starts following me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob:hey friend

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me:do i know you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob:ya from 10 years ago

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me:ive been playing for 2 years

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me:wanna buy a d long

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob:ok

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*trade screen opens, he offers 1k*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me:your about 99k off there buddy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob:reported for item scamming!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me:...whatever

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Click Here!

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Heres one.....

 

 

 

*im wielding D long, back then i was level 75*

 

 

 

Random person: hey can i buy ur d long???(level 72 girl)

 

 

 

Me: (thinking she would make a noob offer)sure, offer??

 

 

 

her: lets see.....let me check my bank

 

 

 

Me: sure....(thinks its going to be useless crap)

 

 

 

5 min later

 

 

 

her: how about 250k cash, full initiate, full rune, bunch of runes

 

 

 

me: :shock: ........uhhh.....

 

 

 

her: ok ok ill add this *adds yellow fremmy cape and boots*

 

 

 

I press accept, confirmation screen, thought she was going to log, she accepted

 

 

 

Her: HA!!! n00b!! d longs 1 mil!!!!

 

 

 

me: no...its 100k ......

 

 

 

her: *censored for the young and innocent*

 

 

 

me: ok...bye!!

 

 

 

her: Im reporting you!!

 

 

 

me: for what??

 

 

 

Her: scamming!!!!

 

 

 

me: Uhhh you did that yourself....

 

 

 

her: can i plz i have it back?!?!?!?

 

 

 

me: fine fine since im nice....

 

 

 

confirmation screen, i press decline

 

 

 

me: SUCKER!!!! MUAHAHAHA

 

 

 

logged........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me in castle wars- combat 79ish

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

sees n00b archers

 

 

 

me: lol.....

 

 

 

them: attack!!!

 

 

 

they shoot and hit 0s

 

 

 

me: *walks slowly toward the wall and climbs a rope.*

 

 

 

them: oh noes!!!!

 

 

 

me: *masacres 5 noobs in like 5 seconds*

 

 

 

me: :mrgreen:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me=combat 82

 

 

 

me: did you get the new item??

 

 

 

friend: what is it??

 

 

 

me: its a lightsaber (sarcastic)

 

 

 

friend: RLY?!?!...what does it do??

 

 

 

me: well theres 3 colors....blue=rune green addy red=dragon

 

 

 

friend: tell me more!!

 

 

 

me: well....you can deflect mage attacks if your really strong

 

 

 

friend: how much are they!?!?!? I REALLY WANT ONE!!

 

 

 

me: sorry, thats only in starwars.

 

 

 

Yeah kinda stupid but he believed me

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Guest TaDaraCampbell
A friend of mine sayed to me in a private message that he was going 2 pest control. What does that mean??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I afraid that mean something bad. Can any one help me??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

^^ Quote from official forums :lol:

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nice, 55 pages! I went upto 17 and then i skipped to 55 lol.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a noob came and said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob:omg, i just finished watching the fallador massacre.

 

 

 

me:......(heeheheheheh) you know, someone can still do that, jagex

 

 

 

never fixed the bug...

 

 

 

noob: oh no!!! (he was wearing full bronze)

 

 

 

me: matter of fact, i want ur bronze, ill kill u for it.

 

 

 

noob:noo! plz,dont!

 

 

 

me:*TAKES out rubber chicken and whams him*

 

 

 

noob: noooo!!!

 

 

 

me:attack the guard and i will stop!

 

 

 

noob:ok *attacks guard* ok, now stop!

 

 

 

me:*i stand where guard is* no! die!!!

 

 

 

noob: noooooooooooooooooooooo

 

 

 

me:wow, he really died! didnt he know that the guard was hitting the numbers? i only looked like i hit him.....

 

 

 

lvl 125:apperently not..

 

 

 

me:*picks up addy armor and sells to gen store. then drops spoils on ground*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

you picked up his addy armor? you said he was wearing bronze....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He just made it up -.- nobody is THAT stupid + a random lvl 125 lol

 

 

 

the guy wouldve just ran away

Quest cape obtained at combat level 83, march 07.

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I was walking in Falador and this noob comes up to me

 

 

 

Noob: Will you have cex with me?

 

 

 

Me: *Decides to mess around with him* Okay, I live in Seattle *lies*

 

 

 

Noob: No, I mean just on here

 

 

 

Me: *Gets bored and walks away*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

rofl, I think i'll try that one next time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't really have many funny stories.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There was this one time were a noob came up to me whilst I was woodcutting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Him: Wc levul?

 

 

 

Me: 94

 

 

 

Him: Haha im 99

 

 

 

Me: Oh ok

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Checks Highscores*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: You're 49 Woodcutting...

 

 

 

Him: No i am not, im 99

 

 

 

Me: Ok then I believe you....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ah there was another time were I was waiting for a friend at Lumbridge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her: Haha level 106

 

 

 

Me: Yes?

 

 

 

Her: My main is level 702

 

 

 

Me: Oh really?

 

 

 

Her: Yeah, don't you believe me?

 

 

 

Me: No the highest combat level is 126.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Turns out she had a account named tztok jad -.-

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This is from the other side of the spectrum of noobiness...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was in good old Castle Wars with my mage gear (only chaos runes and blue wizard :() and lvl 67. About midway during the game a level 80 something climbed a rope, kindly deposed of a level 37 in a few seconds and whipped me. Cheeky bugger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Full Health:

 

 

 

Him:haha noob pwnage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

75% Health, hes whipped me a 5:

 

 

 

Him:lucky noob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Half Health, he hits me with a 8:

 

 

 

Him:take that you cheatin n00b

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nearly Dead, I'm bouncing on half health:

 

 

 

Him:wtf reported

 

 

 

Him:bet u dont even hav decent melee

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I deliver my final death blow with a d scimmy, wearing full rune and a warrior helm. :mrgreen:

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anyone ever had this happen?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i dontr really go on the that much, but i was walking around and decided to make full bronse and give it out, (ya i was bored), but i would only give it out to someone nice, not a beggar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i was walking around in full (G)dhide :thumbsup: and a coulple of people started talking, watever.

 

 

 

eventually i had a nice conversation with a lvl 8 dude with anly the training sword and shield...

 

 

 

Noob: well it was nice talking to u

 

 

 

me: wait folo me to the bank iull gve u some free bronse for free

 

 

 

Noob: no way ur just gonna lead me to wildy

 

 

 

me: Lumbrige is nowhere near the wilderness...

 

 

 

Noob: ya well im new, u could be tricking me.

 

 

 

i ran to the bank and got it, and he PM me saying that he was gonna ignore and report me for scamming...

 

 

 

next time i wont be nice!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

sad thng is, even if i did go to the wildy with him, he could probubly get back all his stuff from the trainers around lumbrige

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I do love free worlds :P they come up with the best noobs

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

im tryin to sell my rune to start merchanting:

 

 

 

me: selling rune kite

 

 

 

noob wishes to trade with you

 

 

 

me accept, then put up kite

 

 

 

he offers me several junk items, and about 2k in coins

 

 

 

me: ...

 

 

 

noob: wt u want

 

 

 

me:er im sellin for 50000

 

 

 

noob: *declines* rip off

 

 

 

me: lol

 

 

 

me sellin full rune

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

this is not the only example i ha e had in the last 5 mins, ive been offered boots, wizard hats, iron daggers, arrows that are bronze or iron.

 

 

 

I finally sold my rune kite for 50k

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

anyone interested in rune itesm, pm me in game in next 30mins

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

acrually a few more funny offers

 

 

 

nooboffer21165949949.JPG

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i didnt even bother pttin up what i was selling

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and

 

 

 

nooboffer31165950084.JPG

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

sorry but noobs trade the funiest things :roll:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EDIT: sorry i forgot to take out the noobs names :oops:

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heh, im sure everyone's heard this one, but here goes:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm in Al Kharid on an f2p server, my friend pms me and says:

 

 

 

"can u buy meh an addy pl8 body and kite sheld?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm nice, so I say "sure"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me:buying addy pl8 body and kite

 

 

 

noob:Symph, ill sell

 

 

 

me:kk

 

 

 

*trades*

 

 

 

me:how much?

 

 

 

noob:200k

 

 

 

me:umm... that's scamming (I didn't report him tho)

 

 

 

the roughly 23 other ppl in bank: reported! Scammer noob!

 

 

 

noob:o ya? well, im reporting all u 4 being *censered* n33bs!

 

 

 

*noob logs out*

 

 

 

me:... :-w

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know thats been said here like 20 times, but eh, what's one more? ::'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

thats not scaming.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, I know, but im trying to make the quote as close to the real convo as possible, and when this happened, "scamming" was the first thing that I thought of.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also, please note:

 

 

 

1. I was buying only the platebody and kite sheild,

 

 

 

2. I was buying addy, not addy(t) or addy(g),

 

 

 

3. I did say that I myself did not report him, but the others in the bank might have.

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Hey every1 on tipit...im not sure if u saw my last past or not, but this jus happened lik 5 mins ago...i was choppin yews

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob: hey yal im a bad gandma bustinn moves

 

 

 

me: lol no1 is talkin to you

 

 

 

noob: wat are u talkin about im the most popular guy here

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

every1 types rofl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob: stop makin fun of me!!!!!!! :wall:

 

 

 

me: y???

 

 

 

nooob: can i buy ur hat [santa hat]

 

 

 

me: srry its untradeable

 

 

 

noob: so y do you have it...

 

 

 

me: umm mayb cuz im not a noob lik you

 

 

 

noob runs off

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

oh n i remember this one...mining coal in guild

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob1: yo hommie

 

 

 

noob2: yo

 

 

 

me: r u guys wanna be gangsters

 

 

 

noob1: no we bros n we luv ****** (another word for buggin...starts with pi) pll off

 

 

 

me: ok w.e

 

 

 

noobs: stop makin fun of me :(

 

 

 

me: lol noobs

 

 

 

noob1: reported for bug abuse

 

 

 

me: do u even know what bug abuse is?

 

 

 

noob2: ya buggin someone...duh!!!

 

 

 

Me in my head: ****** noobs (another word for dumb)

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one time when i was just picking onions for some reason, this girl walks up to me and :uhh: well u can see what happened...

 

 

 

funnyconversationcencorxd9.png

 

 

 

i was laughing so hard by the end :lol:

 

 

 

w00t first post of pg 56

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is it just my imagination? Or did someone already post this?

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**The Old Nite has died of cancer.Please add this to your signature so we will remember this legendary runescaper.**

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I got a few just a little bit ago:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noob: BUYING CLUE SCROLL!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

another one (on me unfortunately)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was selling 2k pure ess, and unfortunately I made the huge mistake of misreading the screen. I saw 200k, but what was really there was only 20k. So I lost 180k. Then I asked him for a refund, lol.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

one more:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I had just decided to start merchanting a little in order to buy myself a cannon. *A dream that unfortunately still has not come true* I had a deal to mine 10k pure essence for a friend and he would get it for me. *Bad deal for me; I didn't know before but I do know now.* I eventually got about 9.5k, and then I have no idea whatever happened to it. I never got the cannon, and I never got a large amount of cash. I think I might have given it away, or dropped it, but I have no idea where it went to. Lol, if I did something like that then I hope I made somebody very very happy.

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I had just decided to start merchanting a little in order to buy myself a cannon. *A dream that unfortunately still has not come true* I had a deal to mine 10k pure essence for a friend and he would get it for me. *Bad deal for me; I didn't know before but I do know now.* I eventually got about 9.5k, and then I have no idea whatever happened to it. I never got the cannon, and I never got a large amount of cash. I think I might have given it away, or dropped it, but I have no idea where it went to. Lol, if I did something like that then I hope I made somebody very very happy.

 

 

 

You think that's bad? I had just finished some abyss crafting and I was in castle wars. I withdrew my first whip (when 3m, how much it cost at the time, was all I had). I meant to drop the bronze pick I had and equip the whip, and then I entered the castle wars game. I didn't notice until when I tried to attack someone with the spec that I had no spec, but rather had a bronze pick. I was slightly annoyed that I had dropped my whip in castlewars. I ran out to find a guy screaming he had found a whip. He offered to give me half the money back, put up the money, and declined, saying that he only gives money to mormons (WTH?!)

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This is one that happened recently, during my bout with the Mutes. I'm in Draynor VIllage, and a lvl 13 (I am lvl 47) comes up and says:

 

 

 

13: Hi.

 

 

 

Me: Wave emote

 

 

 

13: I said hi idiot

 

 

 

Me: Waves again

 

 

 

13: I buy ur hat (black beret)

 

 

 

Me: Scratch Head

 

 

 

13: 10k!

 

 

 

Me: *Laughs*

 

 

 

13: 50!

 

 

 

Me: *No.*

 

 

 

13: 150k!

 

 

 

Me: *Nod, beckon to bank*

 

 

 

lvl 76: dont do it man hes a scammer

 

 

 

13: reported!

Still alive, still alive.

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Im ranging chaos druid warriors under yanille, another guy comes down and starts killing them to, I then see a unid just lying there and grab it because I assumed he didnt want it cause he didnt pick it up before then, dont remember exactly how it goes, but something like this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

guy: wtf, i hate noobs, why cant they just go world hop

 

 

 

me: hey i was here first and you didnt pick it up

 

 

 

guy: you have been here for 10 hours? (does this guy have a life?)

 

 

 

me: no, but you havent been here for the past 2. (about how long I had been playing)

 

 

 

guy: well, I had to go to lunch an hour ago (its like 4pm)

 

 

 

me: whatever

 

 

 

guy logs out

Current goal: Getting enough prayer pots to finish my last four quests.

 

Come to the dark side. We have cookies and flashlights.

 

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i recently lost membership so i'm just sticking 2 smithing since i had full guthans on... :x

 

 

 

while smithing steel bars in al-kharid...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob:how many coal you have ?

 

 

 

me: about 8k left

 

 

 

silence for a few seconds...

 

 

 

noob: can i have 500 ?

 

 

 

me: no.....

 

 

 

"bank trip while beeing followed... "

 

 

 

noob:plz i give you 2k buy it 2k for 500 coal

 

 

 

me: hum ? 2k ?

 

 

 

me:No thank you

 

 

 

noob:nooooooob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a few more bank trips later i noticed some1 in the bank...

 

 

 

guess who ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob:need 500 free coal

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

oh btw... while posting this...i had a miles random...

 

 

 

didn't c him... just got teled to lumby castle... but my warspear was placed on my inventory... :wall: :wall: :wall:

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I have something sort of funny.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(In east faladore bank)

 

 

 

person: Is this west varrock bank?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I thought it was kinda funny, don't know about you. I'll post if I get something better. :)

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