Noobs say the funniest things!

[stingkid]

Not really a noob saying this. But I thought it was worthy.

 

[nomadmike]

^^^

 

:shock: Actually my friends mom(who has a sleeping disorder and can only sleep max 3 hours a night and be perfectly ok) plays around 10 hours a day. Now she got a message saying that as long as she got on about 2 hours a day she could be a p-mod. I read that message and now I believe those without anything to do can be a mod :cry:

[Issac_Amisov]

oooh i got lots of this, but all heard from freinds :D

 

Noob1: OMG!!! My brother is going to be so happy for me!

 

Noob2: Why?

 

Noob1: Because, I just got on his account and made him some profit!!!

 

Noob2: How did you do that?!?

 

Noob1: I checked the prices on his crown he was wearing with the general store and it was only 2 gp!

 

Noob1: I sold it to another player for 100K!!!!

 

Noob2: OMG! Your so lucky! I wish I had 100K!

 

Noob1: I know, he's going to be so happy with me and he'll probably give me 50K!

 

Me: LMAO!!!!!!!!!

 

^this one made me laugh alot

 

 

 

 

LOL! I bet his brother either killed him or killed himself :lol:

 

 

 

[TEST]

 

Ever had a noob say something stupid to you? Well post it here!

Quote of the year. lol. sold his phat for 100k

[Happysniff]

Just then:

 

 

 

Varrock World One

 

 

 

While I was merchanting, I decided to randomly report some autotypers until I met this guy:

 

 

 

Me: You have been reported for the use of a macro program

 

Him: I wasn't

 

Me: Yes you were- I'm not a fool :roll:

 

Him: Ever thought that people could actually type that fast

 

Me: Yeah, type such a long sentence complete with two effects every one second? :roll:

 

Him: With practise, you can

 

Me: Don't try to make excuses

 

Him: As an American citizen, I have the right to freedom of speech

 

Me: Never said you didn't

 

Him: You're just a mod wannabe

 

Me: I'm trying to remove the community of cheaters like you

 

Him: You know, Jagex randomly chooses the mods?

 

Me: No they don't, P Mods are trusted members of the community

 

Him: No, a lvl 3 has the same chance as a lvl 126

 

Me: Not true

 

Him: My uncle used to work for Jagex, he knows evertything

 

Me: You're very close to being reported again

 

Him: What for?

 

Me: Rule 5

 

Him: Another false report will only add to your black marks

 

Me: I'm off to post this in the 'Noobs say the funniest things' thread. Bye!

 

*logs off and comes here*

 

 

 

It's funny how he changed between 5 or 6 stories during that conversation, each one being an excuse to cover up his wrongdoings. Then when all fails, he accuses me of breaking the rules by false reporting.

 

 

 

NB: I cut off some of the story, mainly noob-calling and false reporting of me by him.

 

 

 

First off, auto typers can't be reported. It was stated by Jagex themselves. Second, it's pretty random as to who becomes a mod. Everyone who plays the game honestly and reports has an even chance, level 126 or level 3. I think you were the bigger noob in that situation, just a wannabe mod.

 

 

 

+1 :thumbsup:

[SupportMage]

Just then:

 

 

 

Varrock World One

 

 

 

While I was merchanting, I decided to randomly report some autotypers until I met this guy:

 

 

 

Me: You have been reported for the use of a macro program

 

Him: I wasn't

 

Me: Yes you were- I'm not a fool :roll:

 

Him: Ever thought that people could actually type that fast

 

Me: Yeah, type such a long sentence complete with two effects every one second? :roll:

 

Him: With practise, you can

 

Me: Don't try to make excuses

 

Him: As an American citizen, I have the right to freedom of speech

 

Me: Never said you didn't

 

Him: You're just a mod wannabe

 

Me: I'm trying to remove the community of cheaters like you

 

Him: You know, Jagex randomly chooses the mods?

 

Me: No they don't, P Mods are trusted members of the community

 

Him: No, a lvl 3 has the same chance as a lvl 126

 

Me: Not true

 

Him: My uncle used to work for Jagex, he knows evertything

 

Me: You're very close to being reported again

 

Him: What for?

 

Me: Rule 5

 

Him: Another false report will only add to your black marks

 

Me: I'm off to post this in the 'Noobs say the funniest things' thread. Bye!

 

*logs off and comes here*

 

 

 

It's funny how he changed between 5 or 6 stories during that conversation, each one being an excuse to cover up his wrongdoings. Then when all fails, he accuses me of breaking the rules by false reporting.

 

 

 

NB: I cut off some of the story, mainly noob-calling and false reporting of me by him.

 

 

 

First off, auto typers can't be reported. It was stated by Jagex themselves. Second, it's pretty random as to who becomes a mod. Everyone who plays the game honestly and reports has an even chance, level 126 or level 3. I think you were the bigger noob in that situation, just a wannabe mod.

 

 

 

+1 :thumbsup:

 

 

 

He was being a mod wannabe, and reveryone does have equal chance, but auto typers are macroing. You're typing faster than others can honestly, and that qualifies as macroing.

 

Here's a quote from Jagex:

 

You must not use other software to gain an unfair advantage in the game. This includes automation tools, macros, bots, or auto-typers.

[psychobiker5]

this happened recently after i bought my green h'ween mask and before the dragon full came out.

 

noob: ill buy ur green dragon helmet

 

me: its a halloween mask

 

noob: oh does it still have same stats as dragon helm

 

me: no it has nothing to do with a dragon helm its from halloween a few years ago

 

noob: lol you lyin its a dragon helm dyed green...

 

me: no actually its not lol

 

noob: fine w/e u say i'll still buy it

 

me: ok give me 18m and u can have it

 

noob: its not even possible to have 18m in game scammer

 

me: ...

 

noob: Im gonna report you now

 

me: ...

 

noob: wait i wont report you if you give me your green dragon helm for free

 

me: no lol its a green h'ween mask and im not giving a 18m item away for free

 

noob: give me your helm, give me your helm, give me your helm

 

me: i said no leave me alone before i put u on my ignore list

 

noob: reported

 

 

 

LOL!

[mithos23132]

Not really a noob saying this. But I thought it was worthy.

 

 

That made me laugh

 

I heard just now:

 

Person1: does anyone have 100gp I can have I just died

 

Person2: Person1 is a noob I just gave them 100gp!

[swordb88]

some noob with a cat was runnnig around catherby talking to his cat...having an imaginary conversation.

 

 

 

 

 

it sounded a lil like....

 

 

 

 

 

noob~look lucifer that high lv is cooking fish.

 

noob~i kno it smells yummy lucifer!

 

noob~only u like raw fish lucifer.

 

noob~u wanna see the people fish lucifer?

 

noob~wheres that? i'll folo u!

 

noob~lucifer dont say that...you'lget banned.

 

noob~haha lucifer peed on you

 

me~wtf u and ure cat can go kill yourself leave me alone.

 

noob~lucifer is angered

 

me~good u do kno lucifer is satan rite -_-'

 

noob~lucifer is full of love! (cry emote)

 

me~o well go tell lucifer to go away.

 

noob~yea watch this (shoos his cat away)

 

me~haha u cant get him back now

 

noob~ no lucifer iis smart...he'll come back

 

some lv 113~ no dude swords rite

 

noob~wtf sword ure rported for bug abuse!

 

me~ok then...report me for this to.... go F*** ureself (yes i dont care about swearing and i was reported)

 

noob~haha enjoy ure ban

 

me~haha enjoy ure cat being dead

 

noob~(tele to lumby)

 

 

 

 

 

p.s.

 

 

 

i appealed my swearing succesfuly =D

 

 

 

If when you swore and it was starred out **** then you cannot be reported for it. If you happened to bypass the censor and it came out as the word intended, then I would love to know how you got out of recieving black marks. -.-

 

 

 

 

 

i didnt know that u couldnt do that...and apperently u cant :shame:

 

 

 

so i appealed \

[Zimbabwe_J]

Not really a noob thing, but more of a "Uh...what?" moment...

 

The spelling and everything has been left the same just because it's not worth fixing.

 

 

 

Guy: Do u wanna be awsome

 

(I give no response, as I normally just don't talk)

 

Guy: Do u like talk

 

Me: I could care less, really.

 

Guy: Well fine dont be awsome

 

 

 

:?

[Th3_Crusader]

some level 54, i think somewhere around that, asked me if i have done The Digsite quest, and I was wearing the quest cape lol

[baalboy5]

So I'm doing a part of RFD, the part where I need a branch of the that legendary tree on enterna.

 

 

 

So I see a dude gettin owned by the sprit of the quest lost city, I tell him to safe spot, he does and then I ask if I can use hs ax.... BIG MISTAKE

 

 

 

 

 

Now he not being a noob but to me a jerk so I call him the jerk

 

 

 

 

 

ME: can I borrow your ax

 

JERK: IS your mage and range higher then mine

 

(I didn't scare to look up his name so I answered)

 

ME: yes?

 

JERK: So your range and mage is 85?

 

ME: no....

 

JERK: Well you lied so no ax for you

 

 

 

I just walked awau all ticked cause I just didn't care what his levels were

 

 

 

He follows me and said 'to bad you lied I woulda gave it to you'

 

 

 

ME: what ever dude ur a jerk

 

JERK: Your a noob

 

(me kills a zombie. gets an ax drop when he trades me)

 

JERK: Here's your ax lier

 

 

 

ME: I don't want your ax pure jerk,

 

 

 

I went and cut my tree and ran all the way to 20 wild, teled to lumby and finished my quest

 

 

 

 

 

Geez all I wanted was your ax. not your stats -_-

 

 

 

( gonna upload pic)-nvm-

[Ebola_Cookie]

Auto typers can't be reported? When did they say that?

[Nero]

Auto typers can't be reported? When did they say that?

 

 

 

Yes they can. But you should report them for rule 1 and say "Auto-typer" before you send in the report.

 

 

 

That's what I've been told by a couple pmod friends.

[nickymissy]

 

 

 

lol :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Lenin64]

some noob was apparewntly trying to get us to not talk to him

 

 

 

Him: Don;t talk to me, I'm muted

 

Him a few seconds later: Wait a minute....d;oh!

[Fairness]

So I'm doing a part of RFD, the part where I need a branch of the that legendary tree on enterna.

 

 

 

So I see a dude gettin owned by the sprit of the quest lost city, I tell him to safe spot, he does and then I ask if I can use hs ax.... BIG MISTAKE

 

 

 

 

 

Now he not being a noob but to me a jerk so I call him the jerk

 

 

 

 

 

ME: can I borrow your ax

 

JERK: IS your mage and range higher then mine

 

(I didn't scare to look up his name so I answered)

 

ME: yes?

 

JERK: So your range and mage is 85?

 

ME: no....

 

JERK: Well you lied so no ax for you

 

 

 

I just walked awau all ticked cause I just didn't care what his levels were

 

 

 

He follows me and said 'to bad you lied I woulda gave it to you'

 

 

 

ME: what ever dude ur a jerk

 

JERK: Your a noob

 

(me kills a zombie. gets an ax drop when he trades me)

 

JERK: Here's your ax lier

 

 

 

ME: I don't want your ax pure jerk,

 

 

 

I went and cut my tree and ran all the way to 20 wild, teled to lumby and finished my quest

 

 

 

 

 

Geez all I wanted was your ax. not your stats -_-

 

 

 

( gonna upload pic)-nvm-

 

 

 

Why would he have gave you the axe if you could hacve just kept it after that?

[Son_Goku_84]

not great but alright....

 

 

 

scammer n00b: follow to win 200k - im quitting

 

scammer n00b: follow to win 200k

 

scammer n00b: giving away 200k - follow

 

scammer n00b train: follow "name" for 200k!

 

me: why you only giving away 200k if your leaving? your wearing full sara....

 

scammer n00b: follow to win 200k - im quitting rs

 

me: ugh alright, lets see where this goes... he's gonna scam u guys

 

scammer n00b train member: nah he did this before, i got 100k

 

me: he quit before?

 

scammer n00b train member: no, he just gave stuff away

 

me: right ok, lets see

 

 

 

so, we follow... im bored so i dont mind walking about for 10 mins with people admiring the guys full sara and my full zammy....

 

 

 

scammer n00b initiates trust game (i have a few mill on me for merchanting purposes - so i offer him 40k, he accepts, trades back - probably sighting my zammy, thinks he can get more)

 

 

 

anyway, people go on, he lifts some guys stuff and the guy starts preaching to the world

 

 

 

poor scammed kid: trade me! give me back my 100k!!

 

scammer n00b: i did already....

 

poor scammed kid: im reporting you!

 

scammer n00b: go ahead ill just trade it to my friend before my account gets banned

 

scammer n00b accomplice: haha nice one, easiest 100k ever! lets go "name"

 

 

 

they log

 

 

 

Moderator: dont worry, they wont have their accounts for long

 

 

 

turns out the mod had been tailing the train and keeping quiet... lol.

 

 

 

shame he didnt speak up before the kid got scammed tho

[Roberthree]

I see a guy yelling "Drop party! go upstairs for details!" so I figure what the heck, I decide to go. The guy says thats the party is north of the jolly boar inn and trades me to show what is being dropped. It's good stuff. Obby shields and capes, dragon weapons, trimmed armor, a whip ect. He says only rich people are allowed and I have to dress in expensive stuff. I go bank and withdraw my enchanted robes, ancient staff, and various other fancy things. I also grab runes for 20 telegrabs and a teletab. We go north to the inn and the guy shows me a "Glitch" were you can "slide" over a ditch. I play along and then he starts dropping. I see 10k on the ground and a dhide body(t). I decide not to blow my cover yet, so I say "When are you dropping the good stuff?". He says "I did, wait for it to appear. I see a few more red dots appear on my map and I begin telegrabbing everything. The guy freaks out and runs around picking everything up. I got 10k and a few dragon weps, but sadly no whip =(

 

 

 

Just because I hold an ancient staff doesn't mean I can't telegrab!

[tintin113]

Someone said this to me literally now, like, 2minutes ago:

 

 

 

I was walking along runecrafting, and some guy who I had never seen before in my life, cam up to me and said: Tintin113, u are a .....

 

 

 

I was a bit confused and so didnt reply and went into the air alter lol.

[4nr]

Auto typers can't be reported? When did they say that?

 

 

 

Yes they can. But you should report them for rule 1 and say "Auto-typer" before you send in the report.

 

 

 

That's what I've been told by a couple pmod friends.

 

I've read a copy of the things pmods should, and should not report for. It was posted on some forum. It stated that they should not report for people who spam non jibberish, such as Selling x for x money ~player~. They CAN report, however, if it is jibberish. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ as an example.

[Sam]

World 5 Varrock.

 

 

 

Lvl 3 uber rich noob: Who wants my mask?(green h'ween mask)

 

Random Lvl 68:Me please!

 

Lvl 3 uber rich noob: There you go!

 

Random lvl 68 runs off to bank, comes back and says

 

" Sold that mask for 100k"

 

 

 

 

 

I just s[racist term]ed for 10 minutes after that.

 

 

 

 

 

My brother has an account too

 

 

 

Noob: You wanna be my bf?

 

Brother:Not really..

 

Noob:Y not?

 

Brother: Because I'm a boy, and you're one too.

 

Noob:Really?

 

Brother:Do I look like a girl to you?

 

Noob:Ye

 

Brother:Well, I'm not

 

Brother:If I was a boy, the result would not be too nice..

 

Brother runs away, doesn't stop until Falador.

[darkblade986]

Auto typers can't be reported? When did they say that?

 

 

 

Yes they can. But you should report them for rule 1 and say "Auto-typer" before you send in the report.

 

 

 

That's what I've been told by a couple pmod friends.

 

I've read a copy of the things pmods should, and should not report for. It was posted on some forum. It stated that they should not report for people who spam non jibberish, such as Selling x for x money ~player~. They CAN report, however, if it is jibberish. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ as an example.

 

 

 

The not-reporting for selling x for x probably isn't true, because when farming came out, I was trying to sell a cannon near the Draynor Farming patch, and I log in the next day to a message to a "friendly warning" from Jagex that I need to make sure I'm not auto-typing (I type 130 words per minute, so it's kind of understandable...).

[hi6868]

i have a pic i am in the ahrims

 

[Harakiri]

this guy i'm gonna talk about scared me.

 

i was randomly walking in my rune armor and this guy walks up to me and asks me if i could be his girlfriend( i'm a man). i walk away not saying anything and he keeps pushing a wedding ring on me (a cheap gold ring). i continue to walk away and suddenly the noob says:

 

 

 

Noob: you are hot...why won't you stop walking around and get married with me?

 

 

 

Me: Dude, u wanna know why i have not taken your ring or talked to you?

 

 

 

Noob: ya

 

 

 

Me:(i take off my armor) Dude i'm a guy.

 

 

 

the noob goes off on this rampage calling me a noob and making fun of me when it was his own stupidity that caused this whole charade to happen. I know i could have told him sooner but he was so funny to listen to...worse that that wizard mizgog in the wizards tower.

 

 

 

heres another story, I'm at edgeville having a bunch of people trying to make me join they're PK clans and fight them and this lone lvl 3 walks up to me and asks me if my full addy was for sale. i was selling it and i told him DUHH and we traded. he gave me an old boot and a bucket of water for my addy claiming the boot to be rare. i tell him you get it from the quizmaster and he starts fighting and goes and gets a polished button. he tells me its rare and i tell him you get them from HAM people and he goes back and grabs the stupidest thing ever. A RARE KEBAB!!!! O MY GOD I"VE WANTED ONE OF THOSE ALL MY LIFE!!! WOW I NEVER KNEW THAT SOMETHING YOU COULD BUY FROM A SHOP FOR 2 GP COULD BE SO RARE!!!! i digress. he ran off yelling about being a loser for not trading the rarest items in the game for addy armor. those are all the stories i got.

[robbyfighter]

World 5 Varrock.

 

 

 

Lvl 3 uber rich noob: Who wants my mask?(green h'ween mask)

 

Random Lvl 68:Me please!

 

Lvl 3 uber rich noob: There you go!

 

Random lvl 68 runs off to bank, comes back and says

 

" Sold that mask for 100k"

 

 

 

lol :D