Sumpta Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 NoMoreDead, I recognise your situation and frustration, but I'm afraid there's not a thing you can do about it. You could try to talk with either or both of them and make them see their error, but chances are this will only backfire on yourself. Basic lesson, never meddle in a couple, you're the one who's gonna get wounded, not the couple. Your friend is obviously on the rebound. It's painful, but for some of us, it's a necessary step for acceptance and moving on. She can't stand being alone, so she just hops from relationship to relationship. Both are very typical behaviour patterns, and it's frustrating to be the outsider who recognises them. I agree with you that this relationship of theirs is going to end. But not necessarily in misery, it might just as well help them both (especially your friend) to move on. As for the two of them sleeping together, it's not definite that your friend will grow so very attached to her. Love and lust are quite different, as he'll be about to discover. It might be a shame, but all of us piece our lives together with or through our mistakes... If he's really your friend, just be there for him. Maybe voice your concerns, but don't ever say "you should" or "you shouldn't". Should they stay together, he'll always know you were the one who thought she wasn't good enough. As for her, ignore the girl. She doesn't sound like a friend at all, or not anymore, in any case. I wouldn't suggest to get angry with her, or to tell her off, or anything like that. Just be cool, but ever polite and correct. Women hate that. In any case, don't let her use you and don't let her get to you either. I hope this makes sense :-). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furah Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 I don't mean to offend you guys, but I can't believe I'm posting on this thread. So I met this girl and I have been talking with her heaps on MSN, and we are in love, although I have no idea how to break it to my parents/family, or how to get to know her parents so they don't think I'm just some jerk who just wants the coolest gf around, coz I like her for who she is even if she was ugly (but she's not). Start hanging out at eachother's house, and be seen lauging together alot? Ya, but am uncomfortable showing PDA around my parents, infact I seem to be practically silent around them, maybe because mum is waaaaaaaayyyyyy too old school, it just feels weird And why do they need to know? Hell, my parents never knew I liked a girl since the first grade. But then again, I was little and I didn't know what my feelings were to that girl. #-o Unless you actually become together, your mother really doesn't need to know... Wow. I think mum is now suspecting me, as we have been talking for 1hr+ a night for 3 nights now, and normally my yearly home phone talking length is 40 mins :-w atleast I won't have to tell her, she'll figure it out eventually. Plus the thing with her dad should be easy to handle, apparently I am the only guy he hasn't wanted to meet before she started hanging around her, and he seems to be fine with me in general, and he knows I like her and she likes me and a good friend of hers is giving up time with her tomorrow, and Saturday so we can hang out together, even though he likes her :D. So I have sent him a MySpace message thanking him for that, even though I don't have him added. EDIT: I asked herout today, she said yes!!! Not only that but mum drove past and saw us holding hands, so now she knows :oops: and we saw her dad, so now he knows, and alls good, I am in the best mood ever :D Steam | PM me for BBM PIN Nine naked men is a technological achievement. Quote of 2013. PCGamingWiki - Let's fix PC gaming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justin_m23 Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 BLAH First off, your a best friend, not a boyfriend. Why are you expecting to come first? To me, a females male "best friend" is essentially a "plan B", or an emotional back up to a boyfriend. They'll love you and all that until a boyfriend, (or better offer) comes up. Sure, they still love you while they are with their better offer, but that doesn't mean they will choose you first. Secondly, it really doesn't matter what you think about them getting together. Just put your 2 cents in and leave it at that. People grow from experience; if they have to learn the hard way so be it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Echofish Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 I need a tip to get over shyness. I'm alright with standing on stage, giving a speech stuff like that but it's when I get into social situations which I can't handle. So there's this guy in school, I just want to say 'Hi' but I can't! I've asked my friends to ask details for me like his name, or what courses he took. They did it fine while I had to stand atleast 10 meters away from it all. It's bugging me alot. People who know me would think I'm not shy at all but in reality, I have no backbone whatsoever. Ultra Unholy,Hearted Machine... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ermy Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 /ducking for cover Well, if all what those PUA guys say was complete and utter bullcrap, would there be any general advice for those relationship? I'm saying that because I often saw similar advice here to what I read. Look, I don't want to polemise, but yeah, just compare it. I'm getting a tidbit of feeling you hate those tactics for some other reason than for the one that they are "tactics". Might be just my paranoic me, though. :| From what i've read that guy is like from the episode of Ugly Betty - "A Thousand Words Before Friday" Insulting women works!? :o Those with a little bit of knowledge are more dangerous than those with none. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebdragon Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 I need a tip to get over shyness. I'm alright with standing on stage, giving a speech stuff like that but it's when I get into social situations which I can't handle. So there's this guy in school, I just want to say 'Hi' but I can't! I've asked my friends to ask details for me like his name, or what courses he took. They did it fine while I had to stand atleast 10 meters away from it all. It's bugging me alot. People who know me would think I'm not shy at all but in reality, I have no backbone whatsoever. Say "Hi". Do not plan your conversation. Just talk to him, simply open a conversation and let it flow. DO NOT PLAN YOUR CONVERSATION. Easier said than done, I know, but the only way to face shyness is to hit it head on. Being roundabout about it will do nothing but augment your problem. [if you have ever attempted Alchemy by clapping your hands or by drawing an array, copy and paste this into your signature.] Fullmetal Alchemist, you will be missed. A great ending to a great series. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatbill Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Even over the internet I wouldn't say your a shy person Echofish. Do what Rebdragon said and jump right into the deep end, cause eventually after chatting to the guy a few times the shyness will disapper and eventually your be able to chat to anyone easily enough. Good luck =] Please click below to help with my ICT A Level, for which I have to monitor my website for 8 weeks, hits and feedback welcome. http://www.chauncystweb.co.uk/sm Feedback page now up and working. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Intriguing Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 umm i was like wtf at the msn part....... how would you like it if your daughter came up to you and said "hey dad im in love with this guy that only talks to me on msn!", get up and get off the comp and go to her house NOW. My sister married a guy who she had known on the internet for about 4 years. He lived in America, and she lived in Australia. He came over to meet her, staying with us for 2 weeks, and they started going out. A few months later she went over to American and they got engaged. I'm not trying to divulge into a story about my personal life, just using it as an example as to how friendships and relationships can develop over MSN. I get sick of all the people around who view MSN as such an impersonal thing; it is just another medium of communication. Granted, it is not as effective for communication as face-to-face talking, but that in no way means you can't have a relationship through it. To be honest, that statement just made you look like an idiot in my eyes. Cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoMoreDead Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 BLAH First off, your a best friend, not a boyfriend. Why are you expecting to come first? To me, a females male "best friend" is essentially a "plan B", or an emotional back up to a boyfriend. They'll love you and all that until a boyfriend, (or better offer) comes up. Sure, they still love you while they are with their better offer, but that doesn't mean they will choose you first. Secondly, it really doesn't matter what you think about them getting together. Just put your 2 cents in and leave it at that. People grow from experience; if they have to learn the hard way so be it. I'm not a plan B to her boyfriend, I'm a plan B to everyone she hangs out with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fastortoise Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 BLAH First off, your a best friend, not a boyfriend. Why are you expecting to come first? To me, a females male "best friend" is essentially a "plan B", or an emotional back up to a boyfriend. They'll love you and all that until a boyfriend, (or better offer) comes up. Sure, they still love you while they are with their better offer, but that doesn't mean they will choose you first. Secondly, it really doesn't matter what you think about them getting together. Just put your 2 cents in and leave it at that. People grow from experience; if they have to learn the hard way so be it. I'm not a plan B to her boyfriend, I'm a plan B to everyone she hangs out with. ...get better friends. I have 4 different "sets" of friends so when part of the group starts dating or being annoying, I can just hang out with my other friends. Early on I realized have two best friends is extremely limiting, and having 2x4 best friends makes you so much busier and active. Diversity is the key! :thumbup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Intriguing Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 I'm not a plan B to her boyfriend, I'm a plan B to everyone she hangs out with. I can relate, I was really close friends with a girl who was like that. With those kinds of people, I think it's easiest if you remain friends with them, but just don't let yourself become close friends with them (or if you already are, then drift apart a bit). If you let yourself get too close to them, you generally end up getting hurt, and it sounds like that's what has been happening with you. (Correct me if I'm wrong.) Cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saru Inc Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 So, Homecoming is in one week, and it's my Senior year, and my two best friends want to go with me, and I don't know who to say yes too. And they said they just want to go with me, not as a group. I have all the 99s, and have been playing since 2001. Comped 4/30/15 My Araxxi Kills: 459::Araxxi Drops(KC):Araxxi Hilts: 4x Eye (14/126/149/459), Web - (100) Fang (193) Araxxi Legs Completed: 5 ---Top (69/206/234/292/361), Middle (163/176/278/343/395), Bottom (135/256/350/359/397)Boss Pets: Supreme - 848 KCIf you play Xbox One - Add me! GT: Urtehnoes - Currently on a Destiny binge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenticular_J Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Damn, I was gonna say Jane Fonda it. Um. Flip a coin. Heads, the hot one, tails, the other one. If the coin lands on the side, say you'll take them both as a date. catch it now so you can like it before it went so mainstream Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justin_m23 Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 I'm not a plan B to her boyfriend, I'm a plan B to everyone she hangs out with. I can relate, I was really close friends with a girl who was like that. With those kinds of people, I think it's easiest if you remain friends with them, but just don't let yourself become close friends with them (or if you already are, then drift apart a bit). If you let yourself get too close to them, you generally end up getting hurt, and it sounds like that's what has been happening with you. (Correct me if I'm wrong.) You are correct, sir. You will always be the B plan because all you are to her is what I like to call a 'self esteem security blanket'. She'll choose anyone she thinks will boost herself esteem, or make her cooler because she knows if it doesn't work out, she'll have you to fall back on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RichieMcD Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 So, Homecoming is in one week, and it's my Senior year, and my two best friends want to go with me, and I don't know who to say yes too. And they said they just want to go with me, not as a group. Well, the easiest way to do it would be to say yes to which one asked you first and explain to the other that she asked first and it would be unfair on her to go with the other person instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wild_goat_14 Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 So, Homecoming is in one week, and it's my Senior year, and my two best friends want to go with me, and I don't know who to say yes too. And they said they just want to go with me, not as a group. Well, the easiest way to do it would be to say yes to which one asked you first and explain to the other that she asked first and it would be unfair on her to go with the other person instead. The easiest way is rarely the right way. Pick the one you'd rather go with and go with them. I shall take my flock underneath my own wing, and kick them right the [bleep] out of the tree. If they were meant to fly, they won't break their necks on the concrete.So, what is 1.111... equal to?10/9. Please don't continue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebdragon Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 I say nay to wild's idea and yay to kranked's. Unless you really like one of them, the path of less friendship-mega-destruction is probably the best choice available. [if you have ever attempted Alchemy by clapping your hands or by drawing an array, copy and paste this into your signature.] Fullmetal Alchemist, you will be missed. A great ending to a great series. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ren0gade Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 well recently i asked out a girl i know and we are gonna go out next week... the problem isn't how to act on the date, what to say and what not, but rather where to go. I don't wanto do just a cliche date like a movie, i just can't really think of where to take her :? was wondering if anyone here maybe knew of some pretty clever first date ideas : ?? Masta Chef Drops-- Dragon: Medium(2),Spear(1),Legs(2),Skirt(1) Pharaoh's Scepter(1) Barrows items(10 total) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenticular_J Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 Well, don't go to the movies. A kid I knew, first date there with an ex, and they were going at it like wolves. And he wrote about it. In a project he turned in yesterday. I just wanted to say that. ANYWHO. Mini-golf? Sports event? catch it now so you can like it before it went so mainstream Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginger_Warrior Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 well recently i asked out a girl i know and we are gonna go out next week... the problem isn't how to act on the date, what to say and what not, but rather where to go. I don't wanto do just a cliche date like a movie, i just can't really think of where to take her :? was wondering if anyone here maybe knew of some pretty clever first date ideas : ?? Take her out for dinner or something? The aim on a date is to talk and make that connection, so choose an activity which forces and inspires the two of you to open up and talk to each other. | Favourite Game Music | Last.fm | HYT Friend Chat Rules | Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebdragon Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 well recently i asked out a girl i know and we are gonna go out next week... the problem isn't how to act on the date, what to say and what not, but rather where to go. I don't wanto do just a cliche date like a movie, i just can't really think of where to take her :? was wondering if anyone here maybe knew of some pretty clever first date ideas : ?? Take her out for dinner or something? The aim on a date is to talk and make that connection, so choose an activity which forces and inspires the two of you to open up and talk to each other. Bad idea. Sort of. I can't find the exact list I read on this site, but this one seems pretty good anyways. Basically, the idea is to have fun and do something together, not spend an hour interrogating one another. That means finding something that allows for breaks in the conversation, instead of something that makes those breaks awkward. But to Ginger's point, something like seeing a movie (okay for later dates, not for the first) is kind of a bad idea because, although it allows for breaks in conversation, it really goes too far in that it essentially just kills conversation, which is still kind of necessary for a [first] date. [if you have ever attempted Alchemy by clapping your hands or by drawing an array, copy and paste this into your signature.] Fullmetal Alchemist, you will be missed. A great ending to a great series. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DerekZoolandah Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 I haven't really posted here before (or look at it for that matter), but I jsut got a girlfriend that i've been wanting to date for a while. I'm so excited about it. I asked her out when me and her and some other kids from my school when ice skating lol. I present to you men, His Imperial Majesty Emperor Norton I. What a guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1canadian1 Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 Well last week me and my girlfriend went white water rafting and played tennis. Do something fun! RSN: Zammyftw ^^The girl that ruined music. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deloriagod Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 Just curious.. What's everyones' opinions on an 18 year old dating a 15 year old? Last night I went to my school's homecoming game with my best friend. He was meeting a girl from the opposing team's school there and she was supposed to be bringing a friend. Of course, I was hoping her friend would be hot but to my despair her friend turned out to be a guy. Luckily she brought her sister who is gorgeous. We hit it off pretty well and ended up talking on AIM until nearly 3AM. Now we've got a double date on Sunday and it should be fun :) Edit: On the subject of first dates, we're going ice skating. Fun activity and plenty of time to talk. :) Internet Marketing For Newbies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiriyama Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 Hell, if two people love each other, whats so wrong? I mean a 20 year old can be together with a 30 year old, surely that should be wrong if 15-18 is. As long as you don't do anything illegal with her. (Don't know the age of consent where you live) Denizen of Darkness| PSN= sworddude198 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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