"Do you hate me now?"

 

 

 

That was what my [wagon] friend asked me today.. After getting my pipe out to play with it after I'd told him not to.. And after my dad walked in and saw it.. He [bleep]ing got me busted, and he wonders whether or not I hate him? :wall:

I work at a Grocery Store and get a lot everyday...

 

 

 

"Do you sell bread here?"

 

"What store am I in?"

 

"Do you make keys here?"

 

 

 

Almost every customer does this thing below. I don't even know how I am sane.

 

 

 

There's 3 buttons on the card sliding thing. "EBT", "Credit", "ATM".

 

Me: "Slide your card, select the payment type in the blue area..."

 

Customer hits black button...

 

I have to cancel the transaction...

 

Me: "Slide your card again..."

 

Customer: "I already slid my card..."

 

Me: "You hit the black button. Now, hit the payment type in the blue area..."

 

Customer hits EBT...

 

I cancel transaction...

 

Me: "Slide your card again and hit 'ATM', not 'EBT'."

 

Customer does both.

 

Me: "Would you like cash back?"

 

Customer: "No." -Hits 'Cancel' button-

 

Me: "Slide your card again, hit 'ATM', and I have to tell the system whether you want cash back or not."

 

By this time, we are both frustrated and I have 6 people in my lane.

 

I hand receipt and every customer says this:

 

"You think I'd know how to work it because I am here everyday. Lol-LMAO-ROFL-ROFLMAO!!!"

 

 

 

/Repeat.

 

 

 

For any shoppers here, I will list the questions that irritate us most and give you proper etiquette.

 

 

 

We have to stand outside of our check stands. These questions/statements irritate us all:

 

 

 

"Are you open?"

 

 

 

Obviously. My light is open, I am standing outside my check stand not moving, and I am looking at you.

 

 

 

"You look bored. Let me give you something to do."

 

 

 

Obviously, I am not. I could stand there all day and not care if I don't get any customers.

 

 

 

"Looks like you were waiting for me! Lol!"

 

 

 

Nope. I wasn't. Lol.

 

 

 

"Do you know how much [item] is?"

 

 

 

Of course! I remember how much everything is in this store!

 

 

 

Now, I will say some stuff we like to hear. We will feel a lot better and you will too because you won't have a grouchy cashier who will take their time scanning items just to make you late :D

 

 

 

We usually care how you treat baggers. I do because I was one at some point. Now, when they ask you "Paper or Plastic" be friendly and say "Would you mind if I get [bag]?" Saying "[bag]." makes it seem like you don't appreciate this person who is bagging your groceries which will lead to items being smashed or broken because they don't take light of you. Also, paper cuts our hands and dries them out causing them to crack. That is why we hate paper, but if you ask nicely, we won't care about our hands and appreciate your kindness.

 

 

 

Also, don't throw money on the counter. Hand it to us. It pisses us off and when it happens to me, I throw your change on the counter.

 

 

 

Take your receipt. even if asked, take it and toss it away somewhere else. I can't explain how much it irritates me when people walk away when I hand them their receipt or they leave it on the counter after setting it down.

 

 

 

Don't rip off your receipt. Self-explanatory.

 

 

 

Wait until the other customer is done and leaves the check stand. Don't barge in because it only makes us feel uncomfortable because we have to acknowledge two customers at once.

 

 

 

No cell phone. I can't communicate to you and it only holds up my line. Just call the person back.

 

 

 

If you are writing a check, have it filled out meaning signed, date, store and have it out. People take forever digging through their purse, find their checkbook and fill it out.

 

 

 

When asking if we have an item, don't be pissy. We will only walk in the backroom and sit back there for 5 minutes and come out saying we don't have the item. Also, it is not our fault if the store doesn't have an item. I can't tell you how many times people have began to yell at me because they have been driving around town looking for "Kloopindyhmer's pickeled cornflakes". If no one else will eat it, we won't sell it.

 

 

 

No check stand shopping. That means if you forgot an item just get it after your checked out. It holds up our line and makes us mad. We will watch your cart, after you paid, and let you run and get it and go through the Express Lane.

 

 

 

Eating food and handing us your wrappers. I have received disgusting things from burrito wrappers to used tissues. I don't feel like touching anything coming from your body, so hand on until you leave the store.

 

 

 

If you broke something, wait until the person comes and cleans it up. Apologize to them. I've had to clean apple sauce (Some lady knocked over a display of 40+ apple sauce jars) to alcohol (Guy knocked down a huge display of alcohol consisting of 20+ cases of beer) and never have received an apology for having to clean it up. I only get paid $6.45 an hour (After two years!) and that is not enough to do a job like that. An apology would make it better.

 

 

 

Don't ask for help out unless you honestly need it. We are obligated to ask. If you do require help out, tip the guy a buck or two. We are not allowed to receive tips, but tell the person to take it even if he refuses. It makes us feel good :)

 

 

 

Ask us questions about ourselves. We feel good when it seems customers don't think little of us because they may have a 'better' job than us. Listen and ask more as it seems interesting.

 

 

 

That's all I can think of for now. This will help you guys get out of the store easier and especially if you visit a store frequently. If you are nice, the employees will remember you and you will get great customer service. I wasn't trying to bash anything, but this stuff is what irritates us and makes us dread the 8+ hour shift we have to work.

 

 

 

Hopefully, some of you use this :thumbsup:

"Do you have a garbagecan here?"

 

(sarcasm)"No, this whole house is our garbagecan, we just throw things around."

 

"Really?"

 

-.-

"What do you call for 911????????"------ from the show ed ed and eddy xD

 

 

 

1. The thread is Stupid Things People Have Said To You, not stupid TV quotes.

 

 

 

2. I just lost a great deal of respect for you just because you watch that pile of a show.

 

 

 

That show was great. At least it was funny, not the usual 'Fairly oddparents' crap they churn out now on nick. I loved that show, it was one of my favorites.

 

 

 

Almost anything abyssalwhip has said.

 

I will lay awake at night crying silently from this comment.

 

 

 

I hope, maybe it'll give you time to think through what you say and not look like an [wagon] to everyone you talk to. Seriously, I think maybe one person here likes you.

I have no problem with this abyssalwhip fellow :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And that person who's a store clerk :shock: wow you had alot to say, made me laugh though lol, I have no patience so I wouldn't be able to deal with the customer situations you said for more then 2 days.

I work at a grocery store too (till September, college ftw :P) and pretty much everything he said happens.

 

 

 

"Do you have bread?" Lol of course we have, and I have to go and show them the bread, and we have a whole wall of bread... :wall:

 

 

 

"What's the price of [item]" I get this one a lot too, and I start to remember item prices now, and specials are easier to remember, like the 3 day sale that started today on soda, at 59 cents the 2L bottle.

 

 

 

If you broke something, wait until the person comes and cleans it up. Apologize to them. I've had to clean apple sauce (Some lady knocked over a display of 40+ apple sauce jars) to alcohol (Guy knocked down a huge display of alcohol consisting of 20+ cases of beer) and never have received an apology for having to clean it up. I only get paid $6.45 an hour (After two years!) and that is not enough to do a job like that. An apology would make it better.

 

 

 

Only happened once that someone stayed to apologize and was even willing to give a tip for the cleanup. Laundry detergent is really the worst thing to clean up. Bottles fall once in a while, but one time a whole display fell off... Also had a Kraft dinner display fall off because people are stupid enough to go take their products in the bottom of the display instead of the top, where's the logic in that?

 

 

 

Ask us questions about ourselves. We feel good when it seems customers don't think little of us because they may have a 'better' job than us. Listen and ask more as it seems interesting.

 

 

 

I actually made some friends this way :D.

 

 

 

Edit: Oh, forgot that one time that someone said "You don't like cats?", cause there was no cat food left on the shelves, only the 8Kg bags were left. We had received the order that day too though.

What's a battle?

 

 

 

Did that child just ask what a battle was?

"{my name here} is a sore knee contagious?" (asked by my 12yo sister)

 

[hide=]For any shoppers here, I will list the questions that irritate us most and give you proper etiquette.

 

 

 

We have to stand outside of our check stands. These questions/statements irritate us all:

 

 

 

"Are you open?"

 

 

 

Obviously. My light is open, I am standing outside my check stand not moving, and I am looking at you.

 

 

 

"You look bored. Let me give you something to do."

 

 

 

Obviously, I am not. I could stand there all day and not care if I don't get any customers.

 

 

 

"Looks like you were waiting for me! Lol!"

 

 

 

Nope. I wasn't. Lol.

 

 

 

"Do you know how much [item] is?"

 

 

 

Of course! I remember how much everything is in this store!

 

 

 

Now, I will say some stuff we like to hear. We will feel a lot better and you will too because you won't have a grouchy cashier who will take their time scanning items just to make you late :D

 

 

 

We usually care how you treat baggers. I do because I was one at some point. Now, when they ask you "Paper or Plastic" be friendly and say "Would you mind if I get [bag]?" Saying "[bag]." makes it seem like you don't appreciate this person who is bagging your groceries which will lead to items being smashed or broken because they don't take light of you. Also, paper cuts our hands and dries them out causing them to crack. That is why we hate paper, but if you ask nicely, we won't care about our hands and appreciate your kindness.

 

 

 

Also, don't throw money on the counter. Hand it to us. It pisses us off and when it happens to me, I throw your change on the counter.

 

 

 

Take your receipt. even if asked, take it and toss it away somewhere else. I can't explain how much it irritates me when people walk away when I hand them their receipt or they leave it on the counter after setting it down.

 

 

 

Don't rip off your receipt. Self-explanatory.

 

 

 

Wait until the other customer is done and leaves the check stand. Don't barge in because it only makes us feel uncomfortable because we have to acknowledge two customers at once.

 

 

 

No cell phone. I can't communicate to you and it only holds up my line. Just call the person back.

 

 

 

If you are writing a check, have it filled out meaning signed, date, store and have it out. People take forever digging through their purse, find their checkbook and fill it out.

 

 

 

When asking if we have an item, don't be pissy. We will only walk in the backroom and sit back there for 5 minutes and come out saying we don't have the item. Also, it is not our fault if the store doesn't have an item. I can't tell you how many times people have began to yell at me because they have been driving around town looking for "Kloopindyhmer's pickeled cornflakes". If no one else will eat it, we won't sell it.

 

 

 

No check stand shopping. That means if you forgot an item just get it after your checked out. It holds up our line and makes us mad. We will watch your cart, after you paid, and let you run and get it and go through the Express Lane.

 

 

 

Eating food and handing us your wrappers. I have received disgusting things from burrito wrappers to used tissues. I don't feel like touching anything coming from your body, so hand on until you leave the store.

 

 

 

If you broke something, wait until the person comes and cleans it up. Apologize to them. I've had to clean apple sauce (Some lady knocked over a display of 40+ apple sauce jars) to alcohol (Guy knocked down a huge display of alcohol consisting of 20+ cases of beer) and never have received an apology for having to clean it up. I only get paid $6.45 an hour (After two years!) and that is not enough to do a job like that. An apology would make it better.

 

 

 

Don't ask for help out unless you honestly need it. We are obligated to ask. If you do require help out, tip the guy a buck or two. We are not allowed to receive tips, but tell the person to take it even if he refuses. It makes us feel good :)

 

 

 

Ask us questions about ourselves. We feel good when it seems customers don't think little of us because they may have a 'better' job than us. Listen and ask more as it seems interesting.

 

 

 

That's all I can think of for now. This will help you guys get out of the store easier and especially if you visit a store frequently. If you are nice, the employees will remember you and you will get great customer service. I wasn't trying to bash anything, but this stuff is what irritates us and makes us dread the 8+ hour shift we have to work.

 

 

 

Hopefully, some of you use this :thumbsup:[/hide]

 

Mate, no offence, but the reason you are paid is to cater to the customers needs. Admittedly some of the stuff there is disgusting like handing used tissues or food wrappers but people are entitled to answer their phone imo. Also asking how much an item is, I might do it so someone working in a shop, I wouldn't be upset or angry with them or anything if the didn't know, but they are more likely than me to know the price seeing as if you have been scanning these things for a few weeks you might have picked up a few of the prices.

I tried to buy a tube ticket, because i left my travel card at home, so she asked "do you have your travel card?" and i said "No, why would i be buying a ticket if i have my travel card" So they wouldnt let me buy a kids ticket, despite me showing them all my school books, and various other things proving i'm still legally a child.

 

 

 

Also someone asked me if Japan were in the Euro 2008.

most stupid ever said to me by my teacher

 

 

 

"Forrest what is your name?"

That's why you're a check out operator and not a supervisor nor a manager lol

 

 

 

When you start to actually give a crap about your job, people could almost rank you accordingly :P

 

 

 

You've only just turned 17 so maybe you're still learning ;)

"Can I ask you a question?"

 

 

 

-.-

"Can I ask you a question?"

 

 

 

-.-

 

My response to that:No,But you just did so can I beat the crap outta you?*punch*

"Can I ask you a question?"

 

 

 

-.-

 

Response: You've already asked me a question. Then, when they start again, you interrupt saying, "Yes, you've already asked one, and most people would think that clears them to ask yet another question, simply because they got away with the first. There's really no grounds for thinking you can go ahead because you're an idiot and asked a question about asking questions, so I don't see why you think you could ask the question you wanted to ask before. In short, no, you can't ask a question, and for foolishly asking a question you are unable to, you will be strapped to a chair and bludgeoned repeatedly with a claw hammer".

 

 

 

If you can lengthen the response, great, the more drawn-out it is, the better. The key is to drone on and on and end with the violent threat, they don't see it coming. Or see if you can just get them to leave while you're talking.

"Tim can I take a picture of you?" *snap* ffs I didn't answer yet.

"Can I ask you a question?"

 

 

 

-.-

 

Response: You've already asked me a question. Then, when they start again, you interrupt saying, "Yes, you've already asked one, and most people would think that clears them to ask yet another question, simply because they got away with the first. There's really no grounds for thinking you can go ahead because you're an idiot and asked a question about asking questions, so I don't see why you think you could ask the question you wanted to ask before. In short, no, you can't ask a question, and for foolishly asking a question you are unable to, you will be strapped to a chair and bludgeoned repeatedly with a claw hammer".

 

 

 

If you can lengthen the response, great, the more drawn-out it is, the better. The key is to drone on and on and end with the violent threat, they don't see it coming. Or see if you can just get them to leave while you're talking.

 

 

Heh, yes that would indubitably be quite the burn, good sir. I have to ask though, do you say the "response" part? Because that's the only way this would merely stay at borderline "pretentious jerk", and not at "full blown passive-aggressive MELTDOWN".

 

 

 

But I take comfort in the fact that this is a fakepost, since no one can be this dim.

 

 

 

 

 

edit: i cant read apparently

^read the last sentence, good sir. The point is to get them to leave.

My ninja editing skills are unmatched.

 

 

 

edit: didn't save me from looking like a fool though. Hmpf.

And another thing that I was about to edit in, but it would seem too obvious now: If by some chance you do manage to get to the end of that, you follow through with your claw hammer threat.

Working in a shop last summer, one of the good ol' stereotypical American comes in asking me "Where can I hunt Leprechauns", I couldn't stop laughing :lol:

The point with my post, though, was that it's a silly thing to get annoyed about. It's a phrase said as common courtesy, like "excuse me," etc. The phrase "do you mind me asking a question?" requires a simple yes or no answer, whereas the actual question probably requires a much more extensive one.

 

 

 

Yup, I need sleep.

Men are so hopeless when it comes to subtleties of the language. :P

 

The phrase 'Can I ask you a question?' doesn't mean the speaker is actually asking your permission to ask a question, that would be silly, it's more like an 'introduction' or 'warning' (although warning sounds a bit too harsh). But the point is kinda like this 'I'm about to ask you a question that is either personal or unexpected in some way, so I'm preparing you for it.' No one goes 'Can I ask you a question?' and follows it up with 'What's the time?' One could follow it up, though, with another yes/no question, such as 'Did you sleep with my sister?'

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, the stupidest thing that someone said to me, I was walking down a street, and a bunch of losers in an open car (yes, my definition of loser does not fit other people's) shouted to me 'Hey, does this road go up or down?' It was probably meant to be a 'really smart and witty one' leaving me at a loss for words but I gave a quick reply 'Depends where you're going.' without stopping in my walk.

 

 

 

I just thought of another actually, which also involved a dude in a car. I was walking home, just turned on a small alley and a car pulls over on the main street and a guy shouts 'Girl, come over here for a second, I need some directions.' I couldn't be bothered with turning and such, mostly because he sounded quite rude and I pretended not to hear. Then I hear him go 'Are you deaf, b****, I said I need some directions' I half turn without stopping and shout back 'What do you wanna know?' He shouts back 'I can't tell you from here, you stupid ****' I go 'Sorry, can't stop, I'm in a hurry' and moved on, and I heard him a few times more shouting progressively worse appelatives. I wonder what that guy's strategy was 'Yeah, I'm sure that by using a few insults, I'll surely get the information I need'

 

 

 

Anyway, that's just some famous two that stuck to mind and I remembered right now, but I'm sure I could write an anthology of the stupid things I hear every day if I put my mind to it. :P

"oh you're home"

"oh you're home"

 

When my dad calls the house phone he sometimes asks if I'm home too.As do my friends when I answer my handphone.

 

 

 

"Hello,is this Dylan?"

 

"No doofus this is Steve.Dylan's in the shower getting ready for our session so can you call back later?"

 

 

 

Geez.

 

 

 

EDIT:I got the same thing Shenka did.Thing is,I'm a guy.So I ignored the little twit,I mean come on,you can't expect me to think I'm a girl just so you can get directions?