The theory is sound, and incorporating parts of the sensitive jerk won't do that much harm, but it's best to be aware of the pitfalls. Especially if you aren't one by nature.

 

 

 

Okay, I see what you're getting at now. In a nutshell, you really want to take only a few steps in the direction of the "sensitive jerk" and not more than you can handle.

 

 

 

Exactly.

 

 

 

Blacksurge, as for your story... You're doing the right thing. Don't go running after her, she's a girl with issues. Joking around about being knocked up, that's plain attention-seeking. My guess is that she is only just discovering her budding sexuality and the power she can hold over men/puberescent boys with it, and she's playing around with it, seeing how far she can go. It will do both your self-respect and her in her try-outs a lot of good to draw a firm line. She is acting like a spoilt self-centered adolescent, and you're right not to let her rather silly attempts at manipulation get you. Talk to her, be friends with her, whatever, but always, always keep your self-respect.

 

 

 

I know it's hard to believe now, but you'll meet loads of really nice girls in the future. In the mean time, I advise you to have a good s[racist term] out of "Kyle & Kylie". Not that I imagine it would ever come to that, but get a good laugh from imagining the wedding invitations they'd have :P.

Yay, sumpta's on my side on this. Sweet.

 

[hide=think i need a haircut too?]

 

yeh, pretty much average imo.[/hide]

 

 

 

Dude, you look fine. Give it time, you'll get taller, and lifting a few weights'll help. You've got a great face and a good cut for it, and I'd put my money on you growing up to be a very good lookin' guy.

 

 

 

When you have Reb complimenting you, you know you'll be just fine. =P

 

 

 

Haha. I'm kidding (well, not about you being just fine, you're doing great dude).

[hide=Blacksurge Story]

Hey guys, recently i've been having a little trouble, but I think I sorted it out and I just want to know if you guys think I did the right thing.

 

 

 

So basically back around March, I joined a new band (a drummer in my history class invited me). There was me, a drummer, a bassist, and then another rhythm guitarist. The rhythm guitarist was named Kylie. Somehow she got my AIM before we had the first practice (I knew no one but the drummer at first; our school is huge) so we were able to talk a little and get to know each other before we practiced together. She was a load of fun to talk to and a good guitarist at that. When we met for practice she turned out to be very pretty. Not the insane pretty all the popular girls have, but the modest kind of pretty. Practice was fun and we would talk on aim for hours and hours a day. I think I had more fun talking to her than anyone else i've ever met. Hell, I failed a fire cape attempt because I was trying to talk to her and prayer switch at the same time #-o But then I started to notice things.

 

 

 

Basically this past year I moved to a new state and had to make new friends. And most of my buddy list on aim consisted of friends from my old school. And somehow kylie and some of my other friends got in contact with some of my old friends (I think it was via buddy info). But most importantly kyle. Kyle and I weren't great friends in my old school but weren't anywhere near enemies. But this year we've become much better friends over AIM and I talk to him often. He's a musician as well, mainly playing piano and a little guitar. Well, having liked kylie a LOT (more than i've liked any other girl btw) I ended up getting this jealousy i've never experienced before. I'm usually not a jealous person but this was...something else. She would often photoshop pictures of kyle (kyle's a ladies man btw and gets much more of "teh womenz" than me -.- ) into like supermodel bodies (and fat ones too). But she photoshopped him often. This really didn't bother me. But then kyle wrote a song (he doesn't do this often) and uploaded it to his youtube page. Kylie found out and said something along the lines of "*OMG kyle made a song!!! *drooooool*" and then she also commented on the video "have my babies please?". I don't want to sound harsh but imo that's one of the [bleep]tiest things a woman could say :|

 

 

 

And eventually this developed more. I think in total she photoshopped kyle around 6 or 7 times, would always tell me about similarities they had, and eventually she told me how they named their genitalia after each other. TMI much? :wall: So here I am with this girl that I liked a LOT who apparently liked my best friend who lived 800 miles away a lot. And barely payed any attention to me when she started talking to him. Honestly the jealousy was so much I started to feel depressed (i'm not sure if it was actual depression; it probably wasn't, it only lasted a few weeks). I ended up telling her I liked her, she made the assumption that I was asking her out (which I WASN'T, I was just telling her how I felt) and she responded with something along the lines of "I don't want a bf right now" and later said something along the lines of "i fail at relationships". I was fine with that, since things at least didn't get awkward between us. But I kept wanting us to be more than friends, that maybe there was a small chance of hope sometime in the future, but it became more and more obvious that it wouldn't happen. When she would make chats were me and her and kyle would talk, they would sit there flirting away and I would be sitting there having to read it all and eventually get a "you there?". I told them how I felt about all of this and asked if they even liked each other. They said "no >:|". It was hard to buy, but I believed it. I mean they're my friends, I should trust them right? They haven't lied to me yet.

 

So I asked them if they could lighten up on the flirting while in chats and asked them if they could at least not mention when they do flirt either. That didn't work :| if anything they seemed to flirt more. Like putting convos in their buddy info saying things like "brb i'm gonna go dream about you" and "if you were my sister i'd have sex with you" (I don't really get the last one..). But it just got too hard to bare, so I decided to write a song about it (instrumental mind you; i'm not good with lyrics). I put more emotion into that song than i've ever done, and the song itself took a total of around 20 hours to make. It was 7 and a half minutes and had 6 instruments. I uploaded it to youtube, and hoped to at least get credit considering the amount of work I put into it. People didn't really like it, I mean they were at least construcive showing I had potential as a musician etc. but I also didn't even get a comment from Kyle or Kylie, and they avoided the question when i'd ask them about it over aim. So kyle got a "have my babies please?" for a minute and a half song that's only piano and I get nothing for a 7 and a half minute song with 6 instruments. I'm also at this point starting to wonder why I even care, I mean the chances of her going out with me were slim to begin with.

 

 

 

I also started finding out she wasn't who I thought she was; she told me she'll probably try drugs in college just for the heck of it (we're in high school atm), she said when she's 18 she's going to get a tattoo just to say she's done it, and her goal is to be skinny. Not medium weight, but skinny. These are probably the biggest turn offs in the world to me, but for some reason I still liked her. Eventually one day she made a chat saying she had "important news". I was curious so I entered. Her and kyle and one of her friends were in the chat. She promptly announced that she had been knocked up by Pete, our bassist. At first I was like "lolwut" and thought she was joking, but she kept insisting that it was true, so I trusted her and believed her. Eventually her friend and kyle were like "sorry kylie I can't talk to you anymore". I was the last one in the chat with her and she was like "what do i do??" and i said "idk. sorry but i'm not sure if I can really talk to you either.." There was a long pause and she said "jk." and left the chat, then messaged me saying "omg you think i'm a [bleep]?? you think I would actually do pete??" :| I didn't know what to say and there was a pause and she said something like "you DO think i'm a [bleep]. ugh. everyone does.". I said I didn't, and I really meant it but she didn't buy it -.- eventually I asked her why she did that and she ignored the question. For around the next 30 minutes we had a casual conversation and just talked, then she randomly said "well maybe YOU'RE the [bleep]." and signed out. She's never really mentioned anything about this since then, and it's really turned me off that she would actually be one of the girls that use cheap tricks like that to assume what a guy thinks of her. Also turned out her friend and kyle were part of the plan too.

 

 

 

So I just didn't know what to think. She had all these things running against her but for some reason I still liked her. I wondered why I liked her, maybe it was because we're still young and it's possible she might change over time? Idk, I couldn't figure it out but I just gave up. I had a really hard time handling my emotions and wouldn't really talk to people or respond to them on aim because nearly everything kyle or kylie said only got me sadder. They continued to show their flirty side and it was just hard to handle, so I just decided that I don't want to talk to anyone when i'm not happy so there was a period of about a week where i'd rarely sign on aim and when I did I really wouldn't talk much. Eventually (a few days ago) I decided that i'll just ignore it. There's no way I could like a girl with those qualities. We're just friends and I should just accept that. So now i'm back to my cheerful self (which I haven't been in about 2 months; i'm usually very optimistic but that's been hard to be lately) and enjoying life the way it is, not caring about what happens.

 

 

 

So do you guys think I made the right choice? Or did I do something wrong? If so is it fixable?

[/hide]

 

 

 

Thats quite a story.

 

 

 

I think you should forget about her. It might sound blunt, but there's nothing you can do if she lives 800 miles away.

 

I read about 75% of the story, so am I right to say that you only talk to Kylie online?

I think you should forget about her. It might sound blunt, but there's nothing you can do if she lives 800 miles away.

 

I read about 75% of the story, so am I right to say that you only talk to Kylie online?

 

 

 

Oh, no I live near Kylie right now. Kyle is the one that is 800 miles away. I used to live near Kyle but I moved last summer.

 

 

 

And thanks for the comments guys. And Zierro...it's embarrassing to admit but I think you're right :oops:

Hm, didn't know where to ask this, so I thought here. Sort of deals with relationships.

 

 

 

Was anybody ever "hazed" when they started school? Does anyone have any advice or anything to help me? Gonna be a Freshman next year. I haven't been too worried about it, I'm a big enough kid and hang out with big guys too. But my brother and sister are jerks, put the fear of God in me. No, wait, not God. Hazing.

Dunno how I should ask this.. but... Is there any sort of way to determine if a girl is using you or not without setting yourself up to get hurt? A friend of mine (yes, she's a girl and I'm straight) broke up with her boyfriend kind of recently, and he keeps trying to get close to her and hurt her. When she confided this in me I confronted him for her, but that's not where the problem lies. Right now a bunch of guys have asked her out, and I want to make sure that if I ask her out, it's because she'd want to date me, not to use me as her protector.

Lenticular: You'll be fine as long as you have enough commonsense to not hang out with the idiots, and I'm sure you do. So you have nothing to worry about. Your siblings are just trying to make you paranoid and this is coming from the older brother of three siblings - it's just fun to scare them sometimes. :P I'm also going to be a senior next year, and high school really doesn't have as many cases of physical abuse as many would think - just a lot of trash talking.

 

 

 

Just don't fret it and be open to making good new friends.

Dunno how I should ask this.. but... Is there any sort of way to determine if a girl is using you or not without setting yourself up to get hurt? A friend of mine (yes, she's a girl and I'm straight) broke up with her boyfriend kind of recently, and he keeps trying to get close to her and hurt her. When she confided this in me I confronted him for her, but that's not where the problem lies. Right now a bunch of guys have asked her out, and I want to make sure that if I ask her out, it's because she'd want to date me, not to use me as her protector.

 

In a situation like that I would just try and be her friend.

 

 

 

Unless, you know, she is really, really hot.

Dunno how I should ask this.. but... Is there any sort of way to determine if a girl is using you or not without setting yourself up to get hurt? A friend of mine (yes, she's a girl and I'm straight) broke up with her boyfriend kind of recently, and he keeps trying to get close to her and hurt her. When she confided this in me I confronted him for her, but that's not where the problem lies. Right now a bunch of guys have asked her out, and I want to make sure that if I ask her out, it's because she'd want to date me, not to use me as her protector.

 

In a situation like that I would just try and be her friend.

 

 

 

Unless, you know, she is really, really hot.

 

 

 

she really is beatiful and we get along alot... I think if we were dating we'd be a good couple, but I don't wanna take that chance if she does just want a protector.

You're thinking too much into this "protector" crap. She shouldn't need someone to f'ing manage her suitors, and you shouldn't be accepting a stupid job like that. Either be her friend and help her if she needs it [which I don't think she should], or take the risk and ask her out [which shouldn't take away from your ability to help her, which again, I don't see much of a need for here]. There's a time and place for overthinking matters. This is not it.

 

 

 

Btw, philos love is not meant to go one way. Just sayin'.

simple Lenticular, go with your own way. you shouldnt have to change your personality o match what others want. i only have 8 weeks left till i finish year 12 and GONE for good. even in year 12 i still have one guy desperate to fight me. i have no idea why, i dont even talk to him but he just wants to fight me. so being the person i am i sent him an Epic Fail poster via e-mail and i continue to ignore threats. remember: a fight only starts when your opponent throws the punch. otherwords, avoid wasteful fights. last guy went too far and insulted my family. only took one kick to take him down. (powerful kicks ftw)

Dunno how I should ask this.. but... Is there any sort of way to determine if a girl is using you or not without setting yourself up to get hurt? A friend of mine (yes, she's a girl and I'm straight) broke up with her boyfriend kind of recently, and he keeps trying to get close to her and hurt her. When she confided this in me I confronted him for her, but that's not where the problem lies. Right now a bunch of guys have asked her out, and I want to make sure that if I ask her out, it's because she'd want to date me, not to use me as her protector.

 

 

 

 

 

I don't know your full circumstances, but from what you say...i'd just wait. If she's getting overwhelmed by other guys and her ex, she would not appreciate someone she's been confiding in asking her out i think. that's not to say she won't ever, but right now probably a little hectic for her. Do what reb said, just let her manage her own stuff and then have a shot when everything's calmed down. We fear rejection, but it has to come eventually, there's no escaping it in life. When you do take that chance though, it could work out. Just heads up.

Gonna keep this short:

 

 

 

Considering trying to get back together with an ex. Ended up partying with her the yesterday, bust by the DNR (they had 6 charges on us), got away with some smooth talking and such (though we lost the last 1/3 bottle of Jager and fireworks), hung out all night and I felt like there was still something there. She's changed a lot and I love the new her. She's so much more fun and outgoing than she used to be (plus I think she worked out some of her problems). I've got a lot of thinking to do :-k

Gonna keep this short:

 

 

 

Considering trying to get back together with an ex. Ended up partying with her the yesterday, bust by the DNR (they had 6 charges on us), got away with some smooth talking and such (though we lost the last 1/3 bottle of Jager and fireworks), hung out all night and I felt like there was still something there. She's changed a lot and I love the new her. She's so much more fun and outgoing than she used to be (plus I think she worked out some of her problems). I've got a lot of thinking to do :-k

 

Ehh, life is short. Go for it. I think you should talk to her about it. Ask her opinion on you two as a couple, and get a discussion going. Maybe you'll get something started.

Gonna keep this short:

 

 

 

Considering trying to get back together with an ex. Ended up partying with her the yesterday, bust by the DNR (they had 6 charges on us), got away with some smooth talking and such (though we lost the last 1/3 bottle of Jager and fireworks), hung out all night and I felt like there was still something there. She's changed a lot and I love the new her. She's so much more fun and outgoing than she used to be (plus I think she worked out some of her problems). I've got a lot of thinking to do :-k

 

 

 

So, what advice do you need? Or are you just keeping us updated? :

[hide=blacksurge]

Hey guys, recently i've been having a little trouble, but I think I sorted it out and I just want to know if you guys think I did the right thing.

 

 

 

So basically back around March, I joined a new band (a drummer in my history class invited me). There was me, a drummer, a bassist, and then another rhythm guitarist. The rhythm guitarist was named Kylie. Somehow she got my AIM before we had the first practice (I knew no one but the drummer at first; our school is huge) so we were able to talk a little and get to know each other before we practiced together. She was a load of fun to talk to and a good guitarist at that. When we met for practice she turned out to be very pretty. Not the insane pretty all the popular girls have, but the modest kind of pretty. Practice was fun and we would talk on aim for hours and hours a day. I think I had more fun talking to her than anyone else i've ever met. Hell, I failed a fire cape attempt because I was trying to talk to her and prayer switch at the same time #-o But then I started to notice things.

 

 

 

Basically this past year I moved to a new state and had to make new friends. And most of my buddy list on aim consisted of friends from my old school. And somehow kylie and some of my other friends got in contact with some of my old friends (I think it was via buddy info). But most importantly kyle. Kyle and I weren't great friends in my old school but weren't anywhere near enemies. But this year we've become much better friends over AIM and I talk to him often. He's a musician as well, mainly playing piano and a little guitar. Well, having liked kylie a LOT (more than i've liked any other girl btw) I ended up getting this jealousy i've never experienced before. I'm usually not a jealous person but this was...something else. She would often photoshop pictures of kyle (kyle's a ladies man btw and gets much more of "teh womenz" than me -.- ) into like supermodel bodies (and fat ones too). But she photoshopped him often. This really didn't bother me. But then kyle wrote a song (he doesn't do this often) and uploaded it to his youtube page. Kylie found out and said something along the lines of "*OMG kyle made a song!!! *drooooool*" and then she also commented on the video "have my babies please?". I don't want to sound harsh but imo that's one of the [bleep]tiest things a woman could say :|

 

 

 

And eventually this developed more. I think in total she photoshopped kyle around 6 or 7 times, would always tell me about similarities they had, and eventually she told me how they named their genitalia after each other. TMI much? :wall: So here I am with this girl that I liked a LOT who apparently liked my best friend who lived 800 miles away a lot. And barely payed any attention to me when she started talking to him. Honestly the jealousy was so much I started to feel depressed (i'm not sure if it was actual depression; it probably wasn't, it only lasted a few weeks). I ended up telling her I liked her, she made the assumption that I was asking her out (which I WASN'T, I was just telling her how I felt) and she responded with something along the lines of "I don't want a bf right now" and later said something along the lines of "i fail at relationships". I was fine with that, since things at least didn't get awkward between us. But I kept wanting us to be more than friends, that maybe there was a small chance of hope sometime in the future, but it became more and more obvious that it wouldn't happen. When she would make chats were me and her and kyle would talk, they would sit there flirting away and I would be sitting there having to read it all and eventually get a "you there?". I told them how I felt about all of this and asked if they even liked each other. They said "no >:|". It was hard to buy, but I believed it. I mean they're my friends, I should trust them right? They haven't lied to me yet.

 

So I asked them if they could lighten up on the flirting while in chats and asked them if they could at least not mention when they do flirt either. That didn't work :| if anything they seemed to flirt more. Like putting convos in their buddy info saying things like "brb i'm gonna go dream about you" and "if you were my sister i'd have sex with you" (I don't really get the last one..). But it just got too hard to bare, so I decided to write a song about it (instrumental mind you; i'm not good with lyrics). I put more emotion into that song than i've ever done, and the song itself took a total of around 20 hours to make. It was 7 and a half minutes and had 6 instruments. I uploaded it to youtube, and hoped to at least get credit considering the amount of work I put into it. People didn't really like it, I mean they were at least construcive showing I had potential as a musician etc. but I also didn't even get a comment from Kyle or Kylie, and they avoided the question when i'd ask them about it over aim. So kyle got a "have my babies please?" for a minute and a half song that's only piano and I get nothing for a 7 and a half minute song with 6 instruments. I'm also at this point starting to wonder why I even care, I mean the chances of her going out with me were slim to begin with.

 

 

 

I also started finding out she wasn't who I thought she was; she told me she'll probably try drugs in college just for the heck of it (we're in high school atm), she said when she's 18 she's going to get a tattoo just to say she's done it, and her goal is to be skinny. Not medium weight, but skinny. These are probably the biggest turn offs in the world to me, but for some reason I still liked her. Eventually one day she made a chat saying she had "important news". I was curious so I entered. Her and kyle and one of her friends were in the chat. She promptly announced that she had been knocked up by Pete, our bassist. At first I was like "lolwut" and thought she was joking, but she kept insisting that it was true, so I trusted her and believed her. Eventually her friend and kyle were like "sorry kylie I can't talk to you anymore". I was the last one in the chat with her and she was like "what do i do??" and i said "idk. sorry but i'm not sure if I can really talk to you either.." There was a long pause and she said "jk." and left the chat, then messaged me saying "omg you think i'm a [bleep]?? you think I would actually do pete??" :| I didn't know what to say and there was a pause and she said something like "you DO think i'm a [bleep]. ugh. everyone does.". I said I didn't, and I really meant it but she didn't buy it -.- eventually I asked her why she did that and she ignored the question. For around the next 30 minutes we had a casual conversation and just talked, then she randomly said "well maybe YOU'RE the [bleep]." and signed out. She's never really mentioned anything about this since then, and it's really turned me off that she would actually be one of the girls that use cheap tricks like that to assume what a guy thinks of her. Also turned out her friend and kyle were part of the plan too.

 

 

 

So I just didn't know what to think. She had all these things running against her but for some reason I still liked her. I wondered why I liked her, maybe it was because we're still young and it's possible she might change over time? Idk, I couldn't figure it out but I just gave up. I had a really hard time handling my emotions and wouldn't really talk to people or respond to them on aim because nearly everything kyle or kylie said only got me sadder. They continued to show their flirty side and it was just hard to handle, so I just decided that I don't want to talk to anyone when i'm not happy so there was a period of about a week where i'd rarely sign on aim and when I did I really wouldn't talk much. Eventually (a few days ago) I decided that i'll just ignore it. There's no way I could like a girl with those qualities. We're just friends and I should just accept that. So now i'm back to my cheerful self (which I haven't been in about 2 months; i'm usually very optimistic but that's been hard to be lately) and enjoying life the way it is, not caring about what happens.

 

 

 

So do you guys think I made the right choice? Or did I do something wrong? If so is it fixable?

[/hide]

 

To be honest. She sounds like a complete moron. Clearly flirting with other men and denying it, wanting to take drugs FOR TEH LULZ, using cheap tricks to get an opinion out of you and some other reasons I can't be bothered listing... She sounded really nice at the start though.

 

 

 

There are lots more girls out there, and you made the right choice. I'm even quite suprised you even liked her for that long.

 

 

 

Sorry I sound a bit harsh but... Meh... You wanted an opinion.

[hide=blacksurge]

Hey guys, recently i've been having a little trouble, but I think I sorted it out and I just want to know if you guys think I did the right thing.

 

 

 

So basically back around March, I joined a new band (a drummer in my history class invited me). There was me, a drummer, a bassist, and then another rhythm guitarist. The rhythm guitarist was named Kylie. Somehow she got my AIM before we had the first practice (I knew no one but the drummer at first; our school is huge) so we were able to talk a little and get to know each other before we practiced together. She was a load of fun to talk to and a good guitarist at that. When we met for practice she turned out to be very pretty. Not the insane pretty all the popular girls have, but the modest kind of pretty. Practice was fun and we would talk on aim for hours and hours a day. I think I had more fun talking to her than anyone else i've ever met. Hell, I failed a fire cape attempt because I was trying to talk to her and prayer switch at the same time #-o But then I started to notice things.

 

 

 

Basically this past year I moved to a new state and had to make new friends. And most of my buddy list on aim consisted of friends from my old school. And somehow kylie and some of my other friends got in contact with some of my old friends (I think it was via buddy info). But most importantly kyle. Kyle and I weren't great friends in my old school but weren't anywhere near enemies. But this year we've become much better friends over AIM and I talk to him often. He's a musician as well, mainly playing piano and a little guitar. Well, having liked kylie a LOT (more than i've liked any other girl btw) I ended up getting this jealousy i've never experienced before. I'm usually not a jealous person but this was...something else. She would often photoshop pictures of kyle (kyle's a ladies man btw and gets much more of "teh womenz" than me -.- ) into like supermodel bodies (and fat ones too). But she photoshopped him often. This really didn't bother me. But then kyle wrote a song (he doesn't do this often) and uploaded it to his youtube page. Kylie found out and said something along the lines of "*OMG kyle made a song!!! *drooooool*" and then she also commented on the video "have my babies please?". I don't want to sound harsh but imo that's one of the [bleep]tiest things a woman could say :|

 

 

 

And eventually this developed more. I think in total she photoshopped kyle around 6 or 7 times, would always tell me about similarities they had, and eventually she told me how they named their genitalia after each other. TMI much? :wall: So here I am with this girl that I liked a LOT who apparently liked my best friend who lived 800 miles away a lot. And barely payed any attention to me when she started talking to him. Honestly the jealousy was so much I started to feel depressed (i'm not sure if it was actual depression; it probably wasn't, it only lasted a few weeks). I ended up telling her I liked her, she made the assumption that I was asking her out (which I WASN'T, I was just telling her how I felt) and she responded with something along the lines of "I don't want a bf right now" and later said something along the lines of "i fail at relationships". I was fine with that, since things at least didn't get awkward between us. But I kept wanting us to be more than friends, that maybe there was a small chance of hope sometime in the future, but it became more and more obvious that it wouldn't happen. When she would make chats were me and her and kyle would talk, they would sit there flirting away and I would be sitting there having to read it all and eventually get a "you there?". I told them how I felt about all of this and asked if they even liked each other. They said "no >:|". It was hard to buy, but I believed it. I mean they're my friends, I should trust them right? They haven't lied to me yet.

 

So I asked them if they could lighten up on the flirting while in chats and asked them if they could at least not mention when they do flirt either. That didn't work :| if anything they seemed to flirt more. Like putting convos in their buddy info saying things like "brb i'm gonna go dream about you" and "if you were my sister i'd have sex with you" (I don't really get the last one..). But it just got too hard to bare, so I decided to write a song about it (instrumental mind you; i'm not good with lyrics). I put more emotion into that song than i've ever done, and the song itself took a total of around 20 hours to make. It was 7 and a half minutes and had 6 instruments. I uploaded it to youtube, and hoped to at least get credit considering the amount of work I put into it. People didn't really like it, I mean they were at least construcive showing I had potential as a musician etc. but I also didn't even get a comment from Kyle or Kylie, and they avoided the question when i'd ask them about it over aim. So kyle got a "have my babies please?" for a minute and a half song that's only piano and I get nothing for a 7 and a half minute song with 6 instruments. I'm also at this point starting to wonder why I even care, I mean the chances of her going out with me were slim to begin with.

 

 

 

I also started finding out she wasn't who I thought she was; she told me she'll probably try drugs in college just for the heck of it (we're in high school atm), she said when she's 18 she's going to get a tattoo just to say she's done it, and her goal is to be skinny. Not medium weight, but skinny. These are probably the biggest turn offs in the world to me, but for some reason I still liked her. Eventually one day she made a chat saying she had "important news". I was curious so I entered. Her and kyle and one of her friends were in the chat. She promptly announced that she had been knocked up by Pete, our bassist. At first I was like "lolwut" and thought she was joking, but she kept insisting that it was true, so I trusted her and believed her. Eventually her friend and kyle were like "sorry kylie I can't talk to you anymore". I was the last one in the chat with her and she was like "what do i do??" and i said "idk. sorry but i'm not sure if I can really talk to you either.." There was a long pause and she said "jk." and left the chat, then messaged me saying "omg you think i'm a [bleep]?? you think I would actually do pete??" :| I didn't know what to say and there was a pause and she said something like "you DO think i'm a [bleep]. ugh. everyone does.". I said I didn't, and I really meant it but she didn't buy it -.- eventually I asked her why she did that and she ignored the question. For around the next 30 minutes we had a casual conversation and just talked, then she randomly said "well maybe YOU'RE the [bleep]." and signed out. She's never really mentioned anything about this since then, and it's really turned me off that she would actually be one of the girls that use cheap tricks like that to assume what a guy thinks of her. Also turned out her friend and kyle were part of the plan too.

 

 

 

So I just didn't know what to think. She had all these things running against her but for some reason I still liked her. I wondered why I liked her, maybe it was because we're still young and it's possible she might change over time? Idk, I couldn't figure it out but I just gave up. I had a really hard time handling my emotions and wouldn't really talk to people or respond to them on aim because nearly everything kyle or kylie said only got me sadder. They continued to show their flirty side and it was just hard to handle, so I just decided that I don't want to talk to anyone when i'm not happy so there was a period of about a week where i'd rarely sign on aim and when I did I really wouldn't talk much. Eventually (a few days ago) I decided that i'll just ignore it. There's no way I could like a girl with those qualities. We're just friends and I should just accept that. So now i'm back to my cheerful self (which I haven't been in about 2 months; i'm usually very optimistic but that's been hard to be lately) and enjoying life the way it is, not caring about what happens.

 

 

 

So do you guys think I made the right choice? Or did I do something wrong? If so is it fixable?

[/hide]

 

To be honest. She sounds like a complete moron. Clearly flirting with other men and denying it, wanting to take drugs FOR TEH LULZ, using cheap tricks to get an opinion out of you and some other reasons I can't be bothered listing... She sounded really nice at the start though.

 

 

 

There are lots more girls out there, and you made the right choice. I'm even quite suprised you even liked her for that long.

 

 

 

Sorry I sound a bit harsh but... Meh... You wanted an opinion.

 

 

 

I'd say to just stop being friends if she insists on being unreasonable and pretty deliberately hurtful.

[hide=]Hey guys, recently i've been having a little trouble, but I think I sorted it out and I just want to know if you guys think I did the right thing.

 

 

 

So basically back around March, I joined a new band (a drummer in my history class invited me). There was me, a drummer, a bassist, and then another rhythm guitarist. The rhythm guitarist was named Kylie. Somehow she got my AIM before we had the first practice (I knew no one but the drummer at first; our school is huge) so we were able to talk a little and get to know each other before we practiced together. She was a load of fun to talk to and a good guitarist at that. When we met for practice she turned out to be very pretty. Not the insane pretty all the popular girls have, but the modest kind of pretty. Practice was fun and we would talk on aim for hours and hours a day. I think I had more fun talking to her than anyone else i've ever met. Hell, I failed a fire cape attempt because I was trying to talk to her and prayer switch at the same time #-o But then I started to notice things.

 

 

 

Basically this past year I moved to a new state and had to make new friends. And most of my buddy list on aim consisted of friends from my old school. And somehow kylie and some of my other friends got in contact with some of my old friends (I think it was via buddy info). But most importantly kyle. Kyle and I weren't great friends in my old school but weren't anywhere near enemies. But this year we've become much better friends over AIM and I talk to him often. He's a musician as well, mainly playing piano and a little guitar. Well, having liked kylie a LOT (more than i've liked any other girl btw) I ended up getting this jealousy i've never experienced before. I'm usually not a jealous person but this was...something else. She would often photoshop pictures of kyle (kyle's a ladies man btw and gets much more of "teh womenz" than me -.- ) into like supermodel bodies (and fat ones too). But she photoshopped him often. This really didn't bother me. But then kyle wrote a song (he doesn't do this often) and uploaded it to his youtube page. Kylie found out and said something along the lines of "*OMG kyle made a song!!! *drooooool*" and then she also commented on the video "have my babies please?". I don't want to sound harsh but imo that's one of the [bleep]tiest things a woman could say :|

 

 

 

And eventually this developed more. I think in total she photoshopped kyle around 6 or 7 times, would always tell me about similarities they had, and eventually she told me how they named their genitalia after each other. TMI much? :wall: So here I am with this girl that I liked a LOT who apparently liked my best friend who lived 800 miles away a lot. And barely payed any attention to me when she started talking to him. Honestly the jealousy was so much I started to feel depressed (i'm not sure if it was actual depression; it probably wasn't, it only lasted a few weeks). I ended up telling her I liked her, she made the assumption that I was asking her out (which I WASN'T, I was just telling her how I felt) and she responded with something along the lines of "I don't want a bf right now" and later said something along the lines of "i fail at relationships". I was fine with that, since things at least didn't get awkward between us. But I kept wanting us to be more than friends, that maybe there was a small chance of hope sometime in the future, but it became more and more obvious that it wouldn't happen. When she would make chats were me and her and kyle would talk, they would sit there flirting away and I would be sitting there having to read it all and eventually get a "you there?". I told them how I felt about all of this and asked if they even liked each other. They said "no >:|". It was hard to buy, but I believed it. I mean they're my friends, I should trust them right? They haven't lied to me yet.

 

So I asked them if they could lighten up on the flirting while in chats and asked them if they could at least not mention when they do flirt either. That didn't work :| if anything they seemed to flirt more. Like putting convos in their buddy info saying things like "brb i'm gonna go dream about you" and "if you were my sister i'd have sex with you" (I don't really get the last one..). But it just got too hard to bare, so I decided to write a song about it (instrumental mind you; i'm not good with lyrics). I put more emotion into that song than i've ever done, and the song itself took a total of around 20 hours to make. It was 7 and a half minutes and had 6 instruments. I uploaded it to youtube, and hoped to at least get credit considering the amount of work I put into it. People didn't really like it, I mean they were at least construcive showing I had potential as a musician etc. but I also didn't even get a comment from Kyle or Kylie, and they avoided the question when i'd ask them about it over aim. So kyle got a "have my babies please?" for a minute and a half song that's only piano and I get nothing for a 7 and a half minute song with 6 instruments. I'm also at this point starting to wonder why I even care, I mean the chances of her going out with me were slim to begin with.

 

 

 

I also started finding out she wasn't who I thought she was; she told me she'll probably try drugs in college just for the heck of it (we're in high school atm), she said when she's 18 she's going to get a tattoo just to say she's done it, and her goal is to be skinny. Not medium weight, but skinny. These are probably the biggest turn offs in the world to me, but for some reason I still liked her. Eventually one day she made a chat saying she had "important news". I was curious so I entered. Her and kyle and one of her friends were in the chat. She promptly announced that she had been knocked up by Pete, our bassist. At first I was like "lolwut" and thought she was joking, but she kept insisting that it was true, so I trusted her and believed her. Eventually her friend and kyle were like "sorry kylie I can't talk to you anymore". I was the last one in the chat with her and she was like "what do i do??" and i said "idk. sorry but i'm not sure if I can really talk to you either.." There was a long pause and she said "jk." and left the chat, then messaged me saying "omg you think i'm a [bleep]?? you think I would actually do pete??" :| I didn't know what to say and there was a pause and she said something like "you DO think i'm a [bleep]. ugh. everyone does.". I said I didn't, and I really meant it but she didn't buy it -.- eventually I asked her why she did that and she ignored the question. For around the next 30 minutes we had a casual conversation and just talked, then she randomly said "well maybe YOU'RE the [bleep]." and signed out. She's never really mentioned anything about this since then, and it's really turned me off that she would actually be one of the girls that use cheap tricks like that to assume what a guy thinks of her. Also turned out her friend and kyle were part of the plan too.

 

 

 

So I just didn't know what to think. She had all these things running against her but for some reason I still liked her. I wondered why I liked her, maybe it was because we're still young and it's possible she might change over time? Idk, I couldn't figure it out but I just gave up. I had a really hard time handling my emotions and wouldn't really talk to people or respond to them on aim because nearly everything kyle or kylie said only got me sadder. They continued to show their flirty side and it was just hard to handle, so I just decided that I don't want to talk to anyone when i'm not happy so there was a period of about a week where i'd rarely sign on aim and when I did I really wouldn't talk much. Eventually (a few days ago) I decided that i'll just ignore it. There's no way I could like a girl with those qualities. We're just friends and I should just accept that. So now i'm back to my cheerful self (which I haven't been in about 2 months; i'm usually very optimistic but that's been hard to be lately) and enjoying life the way it is, not caring about what happens.

 

 

 

So do you guys think I made the right choice? Or did I do something wrong? If so is it fixable?[/hide]

 

 

 

wow range that story was quite interesting =D> ... But if you live near kylie here's what I suggest:

 

If you still have feelings for her just take her out every once in a while. If there's sexual chemistry between the both of you, you WILL notice it. And eventuallty when the time comes just make your move. Start it out with a hug. Then turn it into a kiss on the cheek. And I'm pretty sure you know where to go from there :thumbsup:

 

 

 

 

 

reply back in this thread or in rs... You know where to find me \ (forsakenmage chat..duh)

To be honest. She sounds like a complete moron. Clearly flirting with other men and denying it, wanting to take drugs FOR TEH LULZ, using cheap tricks to get an opinion out of you and some other reasons I can't be bothered listing... She sounded really nice at the start though.

 

 

 

There are lots more girls out there, and you made the right choice. I'm even quite suprised you even liked her for that long.

 

 

 

Sorry I sound a bit harsh but... Meh... You wanted an opinion.

 

 

 

Yeah, she is really nice other than those things...and thanks for the opinion :D

 

 

 

wow range that story was quite interesting =D> ... But if you live near kylie here's what I suggest:

 

If you still have feelings for her just take her out every once in a while. If there's sexual chemistry between the both of you, you WILL notice it. And eventuallty when the time comes just make your move. Start it out with a hug. Then turn it into a kiss on the cheek. And I'm pretty sure you know where to go from there :thumbsup:

 

 

 

 

I still have some feelings for her but I REALLY doubt that she likes me back, and besides those feelings aren't enough to motivate me to do anything :P

 

 

 

But anyways i've been feeling a lot better, I think that was the one time in my life where I really felt "sad", like, really sad, but i'm much happier now. And the band's making even better music too :thumbsup:

Do something drastic and romantic. Ride those butterflies to her home, then serenade her ala Aladdin.

 

 

 

so your only serious when you need help

Hey guys, I've been off for a while (lol at the marriage proposal btw : ) due to a combination of low internet access, broken keyboard (now fixed, thankfully) and spending most of my time at the gym (not only for staying in shape but also for meeting people btw). Now that I've got more free time I'd figure I'd take a look here again.

 

 

 

Now, about what Stumpa said on the sensitive jerk. Yes, I do think it's an ideal and I do think it's something that everyone can potentially achieve if they have the willingness to do so. However, I do recognize that the best way to achieve it is by spoon-feeding, just like I do with my PUA tactics. So I pretty much agree with what most of you said. It's best in bite sizes. Then it becomes a true "you".

 

 

 

One tip I have to share if you've got trouble meeting people: If you're not use to, say, malls and you go out all alone in a mall all of a sudden, do not be surprised if you have a hell of a hard time talking to strangers. First of all you're alone, so already that adds some pressure. Second, you're in an unfamiliar environment which makes thinks way more uncomfortable (nightclubs are an exception to that rule because it's more "socially acceptable" to talk to people there and is EXCELLENT training ground). Finally and worst of all, Approach anxiety kicks in whenever you see a hot chick. In all that pressure, good luck trying to meet friends. So here's how you do: first off, it's easier to go with friends so do that. Second and most importantly, use an area that you are comfortable in. I personally am no mall-crazy person. So obviously I don't do well in a mall (yet). However, I like working out and recently I've been meeting all kinds of people at the local gym. As you participate in an activity you gradually become more and more comfortable. The more you like the activity, the better you'll be. Once you become comfortable with your surroundings, you'll become more secure, confident, and will have a much easier time meeting people in general (and specifically girls).

 

 

 

Now blacksurge's story was pretty interesting so I've decided to reply in parts. My edits done in red cause I can't be bothered to do quote by quote

 

 

 

[hide=Blacksurge Story]

Hey guys, recently i've been having a little trouble, but I think I sorted it out and I just want to know if you guys think I did the right thing.

 

 

 

So basically back around March, I joined a new band (a drummer in my history class invited me). There was me, a drummer, a bassist, and then another rhythm guitarist. The rhythm guitarist was named Kylie. Somehow she got my AIM before we had the first practice (I knew no one but the drummer at first; our school is huge) so we were able to talk a little and get to know each other before we practiced together. She was a load of fun to talk to and a good guitarist at that. When we met for practice she turned out to be very pretty. Not the insane pretty all the popular girls have, but the modest kind of pretty. Practice was fun and we would talk on aim for hours and hours a day. I think I had more fun talking to her than anyone else i've ever met. Hell, I failed a fire cape attempt because I was trying to talk to her and prayer switch at the same time #-o But then I started to notice things.

 

 

 

First symptoms of one-itis (that's having a devastating crush on a girl): She appears "special"

 

 

 

Basically this past year I moved to a new state and had to make new friends. And most of my buddy list on aim consisted of friends from my old school. And somehow kylie and some of my other friends got in contact with some of my old friends (I think it was via buddy info). But most importantly kyle. Kyle and I weren't great friends in my old school but weren't anywhere near enemies. But this year we've become much better friends over AIM and I talk to him often. He's a musician as well, mainly playing piano and a little guitar. Well, having liked kylie a LOT (more than i've liked any other girl btw) I ended up getting this jealousy i've never experienced before. I'm usually not a jealous person but this was...something else. She would often photoshop pictures of kyle (kyle's a ladies man btw and gets much more of "teh womenz" than me -.- ) into like supermodel bodies (and fat ones too). But she photoshopped him often. This really didn't bother me. But then kyle wrote a song (he doesn't do this often) and uploaded it to his youtube page. Kylie found out and said something along the lines of "*OMG kyle made a song!!! *drooooool*" and then she also commented on the video "have my babies please?". I don't want to sound harsh but imo that's one of the [bleep]tiest things a woman could say :|

 

 

 

It's pretty obvious that Kyle has experience and by this point she's chasing him. He's got game.

 

 

 

Oh and FYI there's nothing [bleep]ty about saying "have my babies" or that sort of silly stuff. It's just light-hearted exaggeration and you're taking it too seriously. One of the girls I know uses the "have my babies" expression all the time with a certain J-drama actor she fantasizes about. She's far from being [bleep]ty, in fact she has bitter hatred of the popular girls (only the ones she considers [bleep]ty)

 

 

 

And eventually this developed more. I think in total she photoshopped kyle around 6 or 7 times, would always tell me about similarities they had, and eventually she told me how they named their genitalia after each other. TMI much? :wall: So here I am with this girl that I liked a LOT who apparently liked my best friend who lived 800 miles away a lot. And barely payed any attention to me when she started talking to him. Honestly the jealousy was so much I started to feel depressed (i'm not sure if it was actual depression; it probably wasn't, it only lasted a few weeks)Bang! One-itis takes another victim. I ended up telling her I liked her, she made the assumption that I was asking her out (which I WASN'T, I was just telling her how I felt) and she responded with something along the lines of "I don't want a bf right now" and later said something along the lines of "i fail at relationships".It ends right there. At this point you should have moved on to another girl. I was fine with that, since things at least didn't get awkward between us. But I kept wanting us to be more than friends, that maybe there was a small chance of hope sometime in the future, but it became more and more obvious that it wouldn't happen.That's one-itis creating that false hope. When she would make chats were me and her and kyle would talk, they would sit there flirting away and I would be sitting there having to read it all and eventually get a "you there?". I told them how I felt about all of this and asked if they even liked each other. They said "no >:|". It was hard to buy, but I believed it. I mean they're my friends, I should trust them right? They haven't lied to me yet.keep in mind that girls react emotionally, not logically

 

 

 

 

 

So I asked them if they could lighten up on the flirting while in chats and asked them if they could at least not mention when they do flirt either. That didn't work :| if anything they seemed to flirt more. Like putting convos in their buddy info saying things like "brb i'm gonna go dream about you" and "if you were my sister i'd have sex with you" (I don't really get the last one..).No surprises there. Telling them not to flirt is simply going to encourage them to flirt more. But it just got too hard to bare, so I decided to write a song about it (instrumental mind you; i'm not good with lyrics). I put more emotion into that song than i've ever done, and the song itself took a total of around 20 hours to make. It was 7 and a half minutes and had 6 instruments. I uploaded it to youtube, and hoped to at least get credit considering the amount of work I put into it.Well you won the "most original AFC (average frustrated chump) moment" award People didn't really like it, I mean they were at least construcive showing I had potential as a musician etc. but I also didn't even get a comment from Kyle or Kylie, and they avoided the question when i'd ask them about it over aim. So kyle got a "have my babies please?" for a minute and a half song that's only piano and I get nothing for a 7 and a half minute song with 6 instruments. I'm also at this point starting to wonder why I even care, I mean the chances of her going out with me were slim to begin with.Good! You're already breaking free of your obsession over here. This is good news

 

 

 

I also started finding out she wasn't who I thought she was;Classic, I even discover stuff I never knew about the girls I'm very close with she told me she'll probably try drugs in college just for the heck of it (we're in high school atm)Either she's bluffing or she's a total idiot or she's testing to see what your reaction is and my money's on the third option, she said when she's 18 she's going to get a tattoo just to say she's done itNo comment, tattoos are hawt and I'm gonna get one myself once I get the money, and her goal is to be skinny. Not medium weight, but skinnyNow that's a risky territory. These are probably the biggest turn offs in the world to me, but for some reason I still liked her.Yep, it's cause of one-itis Eventually one day she made a chat saying she had "important news". I was curious so I entered. Her and kyle and one of her friends were in the chat. She promptly announced that she had been knocked up by Pete, our bassist. At first I was like "lolwut" and thought she was joking, but she kept insisting that it was true, so I trusted her and believed her. Eventually her friend and kyle were like "sorry kylie I can't talk to you anymore". I was the last one in the chat with her and she was like "what do i do??" and i said "idk. sorry but i'm not sure if I can really talk to you either.." There was a long pause and she said "jk." and left the chat, then messaged me saying "omg you think i'm a [bleep]?? you think I would actually do pete??" :| I didn't know what to say and there was a pause and she said something like "you DO think i'm a [bleep]. ugh. everyone does.". I said I didn't, and I really meant it but she didn't buy it -.- eventually I asked her why she did that and she ignored the question. For around the next 30 minutes we had a casual conversation and just talked, then she randomly said "well maybe YOU'RE the [bleep]." and signed out. She's never really mentioned anything about this since then, and it's really turned me off that she would actually be one of the girls that use cheap tricks like that to assume what a guy thinks of her. Also turned out her friend and kyle were part of the plan too.

 

 

 

Ok, weird communication aside, this gives an indication of where you stand with her. She seems to view you as a friend that she can come to for counceling which means that you're (arbitrarily) in the let's just be friends zone. This means you over-did it on the comfort zone. Not enough flirting (if any). You didn't appear enough as a sexual being, but more as an emotional being that she can share her troubles with.

 

 

 

So I just didn't know what to think. She had all these things running against her but for some reason I still liked her. I wondered why I liked her, maybe it was because we're still young and it's possible she might change over time?Once you get one-itis it's not uncommon to imagine that things will change, she might give you a second chance and crap like that. Idk, I couldn't figure it out but I just gave up.WE HAVE A WINNER I had a really hard time handling my emotions and wouldn't really talk to people or respond to them on aim because nearly everything kyle or kylie said only got me sadder.HUGE kudos to recognizing this yourself. You've done the right thing They continued to show their flirty side and it was just hard to handle, so I just decided that I don't want to talk to anyone when i'm not happy so there was a period of about a week where i'd rarely sign on aim and when I did I really wouldn't talk much.I know how that feels. Oh here's a random tip: you need to loosen up on flirting issue. I don't know if you think it's wrong or out-of-place but flirting is light-hearted and a big must if you want girls later on Eventually (a few days ago) I decided that i'll just ignore it. There's no way I could like a girl with those qualities.That's a good way of thinking of it. Might be harsh, but considering a girl's bad qualities has helped me get over some nasty one-itis We're just friends and I should just accept that. So now i'm back to my cheerful self (which I haven't been in about 2 months; i'm usually very optimistic but that's been hard to be lately) and enjoying life the way it is, not caring about what happens.Glad to hear that, see how good it feels when you're not constantly worrying about what a girl thinks of you?

 

 

 

So do you guys think I made the right choice? Or did I do something wrong? If so is it fixable?

 

 

 

As I said, you not only made the absolute right choice in giving up, but you did so on your own which is quite frankly impressive. I'll be honest you made some mistakes (and this flirting issue is something I'd like to talk about because you don't seem totally comfortable about it and it's pretty damn important) but in the end you were able to (mostly) overcome your one-itis and you've mentioned how much better you feel because of it. Do not worry about this girl, do not even try to create any chemistry with this girl you'll just end up being disappointed when she rejects you. Just erase her from your mind and go meet some other girls. (emphasis on the plural!! meet as many as possible)

[/hide]

 

 

 

deloriagod, what's DNR supposed to mean? Driving Naked with Rabies?... I give up. Anyways, too bad you had to lose the Jager, that's good stuff. As for the relationship stuff, less thinking and more action is usually the best thing to do.

 

 

 

JeremyM, lighten up man, anyone who needs help can get help around here.

Well Solidus, I hate to tell but... You were right :( .

 

 

 

I finally got rid of the one-itis. You, my parents and last saturday made me realise that there are so many more girls in the world. I thank you for all the good advice you gave me (Although I barely listened to it). My parents for telling me that I'm to young to go in a long-term relationship. Which is true, Jeez! I'm fiftheen for god's sake why would I even want a relationship in the first place? I should be enjoying my youth without any restrictions on whatever I do. (Well, some, but you know what I mean). I actually kissed a girl whom is 18 that Saturday, nothing more, nothing less. Just a kiss. Now is that wrong? I don't think so, we were both a bit drunk, we've known each other for quite a while and talk a lot. If there comes a kiss whilst we're going out... I don't see the problem. She isn't my girlfriend or whatsoever. Perhaps some people may view that as "unethical". I wouldn't care. Hah, I actually love how the way it is now. Just going out a bit, chilling with mates, getting to know a lot more new people (read: girls.) and talk with any girl I like. No restrictions, no one-itis.

 

 

 

Thank you Solidus. It was a long struggle but I made it :lol: !

 

 

 

-Bono.

Glad to see it worked out for you. And nice job with the smooth kiss. Nothing wrong about that.

ummm...kk...sooo

 

 

 

my "ex" was my gf during the school year.... and then it went down hill.... and i need help from... you guys....

 

 

 

so we were bf gf, good couple and when school got out, she got extremely po'd at me for no reason. she "said" it was cause i wasnt texting her, when i told her that my phone broke (which is true) and i was waiting to get a new one.. now she doesn't want to talk to me and is trying to date other guys.... what should i do....

 

 

 

summary: girlfriend mad at me for no specific reason, want to get her back and make her understand what happened.

Maybe you misunderstood her or she has a better reason - but she doesn't want to tell you. Try and find out if that was the true reason. And honestly, if she really does get upset over trivial things like that then maybe it's just best to let her go for your own good. Instead of discussing the problem with you, she just left and started going for other guys. That's not a good thing...

 

 

 

Even if you did get back together, nothing is stopping her from doing something similar to what she just did. No offense, but she just sounds like a heart-breaker and I'd stay away from her. :|