...What?!

 

You're both 18, technically you're both legal adults (unless she's older then you and you dig cougars or its 21 there). Stupid parents like this are the reason people end up with bad social skills, bad relationships and general unhappiness. Does he honestly think making her miserable will make her more accomplished? I've been on that end of the spectrum and all it does is make things worse.

Well, look who's got a date tomorrow. :P

Well, look who's got a date tomorrow. :P

 

 

not me or Tim, so I'm gonna have to guess IamDan

...What?!

 

You're both 18, technically you're both legal adults (unless she's older then you and you dig cougars or its 21 there). Stupid parents like this are the reason people end up with bad social skills, bad relationships and general unhappiness. Does he honestly think making her miserable will make her more accomplished? I've been on that end of the spectrum and all it does is make things worse.

It's so dumb. We texted each other almost everyday before we were dating anyways so it's not like she's suddenly waiting for my messages in a dark room and doing nothing else. Also we planned for her to come to my graduation before we starting dating as well so if he forbids her from coming I'm going to be super pissed...

6 Scientific Reasons Your Girlfriend's Father Hates You (yes, cracked article)

 

That thing that I don't get, is how do people grow up thinking that will work (forbidding a relationship like that). I mean yes, if he actually blocks the whole thing entirely for long enough that will probably kill it, but its not like it will improve grades or anything. Actually, if hes really that worried that a relationship will suck up to much of her time, then he should be thrilled she is in a committed long distance thing, because it prevents her from going out with someone who can actually take her one dates and really suck up her time, and overall cause more distractions.

 

Going by what you said, I think he (a)hates you and (b) is convinced your going to break her heart, and he thinks he can spare her that pain (note to self in 25 years - you can't spare other people that pain, only help them deal with it).

 

It is also possible, since this would be my objection as a parent, that its not really you, its that she is in a long distance relationship, and the way he see's it her dating skills are stagnating because she can't use them. Long distance relationships have never been my thing. Actually, that's how all my relationships have ended (except one), as well as a few friendships.

I've read that article before. Good 'ol Cracked...

 

It's more that he absolutely hates the idea of her dating anybody at all. We've talked about it before but we both just assumed that he'd be passive and get over it quickly. I'm hoping this ban ends before May.

So, a bit of a more interesting development in my case.

-She is also afraid that she's a bad girlfriend because with her last two exes she lost interest quickly after the first couple weeks they were dating (though they both were clingy as all hell). At the same time, she already feels closer to me than she did to either of them.

 

Late onto the reply here but Im not sure what to make of this statement. It could be she just hasnt found the 'right' boyfriend yet or she just doesnt want to comit to anything/anyone.

Well, I had my first date with Stacey last night. My parents were getting home late so we ended up going to a mall for a couple hours. We ate there and walked around for a bit and then chilled with another pair of friends who were basically in the same boat as us that we ran into there for a while before we were allowed to head back to my place. Once we got there we only really had an hour left, so we ended up going for a walk and then laid down and looked at the stars for a while before her parents picked her up.

 

We talked about it after, and we both agreed that we had a lot of fun, and it never got awkward at all. However, she was concerned because she thought it was more of "good friend fun" than "relationship fun", which doesn't exactly bode well for me. I told her the way I looked at it was that the night was more of a test to see if we could even hang out alone without it being awkward, which was a pretty resounding yes, and I proposed that next weekend we go on another date and actually try it as a couple. She said basically that she'd have to think about it still, so I guess I'm in the same boat as I was last post, lol. Still, I have a good feeling about this, as by the end of the night she was referring to us as a couple and a thing. I think that if she agrees to that second date it will end up going well, but I guess I have to get to that point.

 

 

Also, what are some good ideas of what to do for that second date? We didn't really escalate much physically on this first one and didn't kiss or anything, so I'd like something where that's more possible, lol. I know a favorite around here is ice skating, which I suggested for our first one, but she said she's too uncoordinated and I don't know how, so that got turned away pretty quickly, lol. There isn't really anything in theatres currently either of us would want to see either, lol. Aside from that though I'm open to ideas.

A good second date would be going to some sort of sports event or something, where you won't be worried about walking in and out or even around a little and wouldn't mind leaving early. If you can find a hockey game, that is a good reason to cuddle if she gets cold, or even something outside this time of year.

Not a date unless you kiss in my book. That's about as much input as I can make right now, sorry.

Not a date unless you kiss in my book. That's about as much input as I can make right now, sorry.

 

Yeah, you're probably right. It just...never felt like it was the right time for that, I guess.

Wait for a pause in the conversation (between topics) and just go for it. However, it also depends on the girl. With Stacy, I get the vice that she is reluctant to be in a relationship in general (and correct me if I'm wrong if you know something I don't about how intimate she has gotten with boys in the past.

 

Past experience is going to dictate how comfortable she is. I am under the impression that she has not dated much, if at all, before. In that situation, I would definitely cuddle first (again, lulls in the conversation aren't bad), and wait until she starts cuddling back before you try to kiss her. If she is shy, a public place is probably not the best place to try it for the first time.

Wait for a pause in the conversation (between topics) and just go for it. However, it also depends on the girl. With Stacy, I get the vice that she is reluctant to be in a relationship in general (and correct me if I'm wrong if you know something I don't about how intimate she has gotten with boys in the past.

 

Past experience is going to dictate how comfortable she is. I am under the impression that she has not dated much, if at all, before. In that situation, I would definitely cuddle first (again, lulls in the conversation aren't bad), and wait until she starts cuddling back before you try to kiss her. If she is shy, a public place is probably not the best place to try it for the first time.

 

She has had two boyfriends in the past. One only lasted a month, and the other one lasted three months, but she only went on three dates with him throughout that span. Also, that second relationship was a trainwreck; she lost interest after a month but then the guy started telling her he loved her when she was about to break up with him, which essentially awkwarded her into keeping the "relationship" going. Something similar happened with the first one also from what I understand, but I didn't know her all that well at that time so I don't have any other info. Because of these she said herself that she doesnt consider herself experienced/"good with" relationships.

 

If she decides to go for that second date, I'm thinking of just having her over my house like we were originally supposed to do for the first one, if she doesn't have something else she wants to do. There are a bunch of places to walk to there and I have a shitton of movies + netflix if we want to do that for some reason (though we both quickly shot down the idea last time, lol). Also wouldn't have other people so it'd make it easier to get intimate if she's willing, I guess (at bonez about the sporting event, neither of us are into that so that would be a disaster, lol).

A good second date would be going to some sort of sports event or something, where you won't be worried about walking in and out or even around a little and wouldn't mind leaving early. If you can find a hockey game, that is a good reason to cuddle if she gets cold, or even something outside this time of year.

 

Solid tip. Did this before and everything went great. Helps if she's into hockey as well.

Not a date unless you kiss in my book. That's about as much input as I can make right now, sorry.

Yeah, you're probably right. It just...never felt like it was the right time for that, I guess.

There is never a real 'right' time to kiss someone. You won't ever experience any of the shit you see in the movies. You'll know exactly when it's time to kiss the girl, and when you know; do it.

Not a date unless you kiss in my book. That's about as much input as I can make right now, sorry.

Yeah, you're probably right. It just...never felt like it was the right time for that, I guess.

There is never a real 'right' time to kiss someone. You won't ever experience any of the shit you see in the movies. You'll know exactly when it's time to kiss the girl, and when you know; do it.

Wait, if there's never a 'right' time than how do you know when it's time?

Not a date unless you kiss in my book. That's about as much input as I can make right now, sorry.

Yeah, you're probably right. It just...never felt like it was the right time for that, I guess.

There is never a real 'right' time to kiss someone. You won't ever experience any of the shit you see in the movies. You'll know exactly when it's time to kiss the girl, and when you know; do it.

Wait, if there's never a 'right' time than how do you know when it's time?

I know, my statement contradicts itself. But it makes sense to me. :mellow:

Not a date unless you kiss in my book. That's about as much input as I can make right now, sorry.

Yeah, you're probably right. It just...never felt like it was the right time for that, I guess.

There is never a real 'right' time to kiss someone. You won't ever experience any of the shit you see in the movies. You'll know exactly when it's time to kiss the girl, and when you know; do it.

Wait, if there's never a 'right' time than how do you know when it's time?

 

There isn't a right time, but instead when it feels right to you.

That's what I was trying to say!

That's what I was trying to say!

 

I know you were.

Out of interest, is it okay for the girl to initiate a kiss to the guy?

And is it still a case of when it 'feels' right to you?

Yeah exactly. And it didn't feel right the night of our date-thing, lol.

Out of interest, is it okay for the girl to initiate a kiss to the guy?

And is it still a case of when it 'feels' right to you?

 

I don't see why it wouldn't be ok.

 

 

@Kalphite

 

Like everyone else has said before, you will know when the time is right.

Out of interest, is it okay for the girl to initiate a kiss to the guy?

And is it still a case of when it 'feels' right to you?

Yes and yes.

The power of using smilies when texting or chatting someone, just amazing...