"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[RpgGamer]

How'd that work out?

 

Didn't work out for the same reason many relationships fail: I became needy :P

 

uh huh.

 

And you see no correlation between your feelings towards neediness now, and the way your past relationship worked out? Or do you see the correlation, and that's what fueled the whole self-help 'get your shit together' campaign?

[muggiwhplar]

How'd that work out?

 

Didn't work out for the same reason many relationships fail: I became needy :P

 

uh huh.

 

And you see no correlation between your feelings towards neediness now, and the way your past relationship worked out? Or do you see the correlation, and that's what fueled the whole self-help 'get your shit together' campaign?

 

It's more of a "Hindsight is always 20/20" sort of thing.

 

As soon as I became single again, I developed a voracious appetite for self-improvement in order to get rid of the negative feelings and get back to "normal." Though like I've said in previous posts, most of the negative emotions vanished once I moved to college, met a ton of new people, and experienced many new things. It wasn't until much later that I concluded that the reason things didn't work out was because I was too needy. I didn't "discover" that long-term monogamy doesn't work until Fall 2010. I didn't discover the importance of gratitude (and everything else related to meditation and positive psychology) until Spring 2011. I discovered carefreeness/unattachment way back in like Spring 2010 but didn't think too much of it till a year or two later.

 

For all I know, the relationship could've ended for some other reason. But I don't really care :P

[RpgGamer]

How'd that work out?

 

Didn't work out for the same reason many relationships fail: I became needy :P

 

uh huh.

 

And you see no correlation between your feelings towards neediness now, and the way your past relationship worked out? Or do you see the correlation, and that's what fueled the whole self-help 'get your shit together' campaign?

 

It's more of a "Hindsight is always 20/20" sort of thing.

 

As soon as I became single again, I developed a voracious appetite for self-improvement in order to get rid of the negative feelings and get back to "normal." Though like I've said in previous posts, most of the negative emotions vanished once I moved to college, met a ton of new people, and experienced many new things. It wasn't until much later that I concluded that the reason things didn't work out was because I was too needy. I didn't "discover" that long-term monogamy doesn't work until Fall 2010. I didn't discover the importance of gratitude (and everything else related to meditation and positive psychology) until Spring 2011. I discovered carefreeness/unattachment way back in like Spring 2010 but didn't think too much of it till a year or two later.

 

For all I know, the relationship could've ended for some other reason. But I don't really care :P

 

okay fair enough. Guess the lesson there is, why be sad when you can be awesome instead lol

[muggiwhplar]

okay fair enough. Guess the lesson there is, why be sad when you can be awesome instead lol

 

lol, reminds me of a pic I came across in the middle of the debates I was having on this thread a while back:

 

 

:twss:

 

I didn't think it would look good on my part to post it at the time hahahaha

[Giordano]

Oh jeez, now even children aren't good enough? :roll:

[Furah]

last time I saw a guy negg some chick @ a party, he got slapped followed by a wine splash to the face.

 

From what I've seen: Does. Not. Work.

 

Last time I saw a guy neg they ended up having casual sex for like 7 months. You win some, you lose some.

 

Oh jeez, now even children aren't good enough? :roll:

 

I've never really gotten the appeal of giving up 18 years of your life, and a large chunk of your earnings, to raise a child.

[obfuscator]

last time I saw a guy negg some chick @ a party, he got slapped followed by a wine splash to the face.

 

From what I've seen: Does. Not. Work.

 

Last time I saw a guy neg they ended up having casual sex for like 7 months. You win some, you lose some.

 

Oh jeez, now even children aren't good enough? :roll:

 

I've never really gotten the appeal of giving up 18 years of your life, and a large chunk of your earnings, to raise a child.

I guess that makes you fortunate your parents didn't feel the same way.

[Jeffwilson99]

Only 18 years? Good luck getting rid of them after just 18 years :-P

[RpgGamer]

Only 18 years? Good luck getting rid of them after just 18 years :-P

 

Todays economy dictates a good 22 years practically minimum

[Bonez899]

Only 18 years? Good luck getting rid of them after just 18 years :-P

 

Todays economy dictates a good 22 years practically minimum

Or ship 'em off to the military as soon as they finish high school, military will pay for their collage for them to learn the trade, plus they automatically get housing that is taken off of their pay.

[sarg1010]

Only 18 years? Good luck getting rid of them after just 18 years :-P

 

Todays economy dictates a good 22 years practically minimum

Or ship 'em off to the military as soon as they finish high school, military will pay for their collage for them to learn the trade, plus they automatically get housing that is taken off of their pay.

Not only is this possibly the worst advice you can give a parent (since, frankly, if you are sick of your child and are seriously considering this, you probably failed at parenting to begin with), but (in the U.S. anyway), you can't force someone to join the military unless there is a draft going on. You can kick them out of your house once they turn 18, but you can't force them to join the military.

[Stev]

last time I saw a guy negg some chick @ a party, he got slapped followed by a wine splash to the face.

 

From what I've seen: Does. Not. Work.

 

Last time I saw a guy neg they ended up having casual sex for like 7 months. You win some, you lose some.

And that guy definitely won some. :P.

 

My last girlfriend, we were making out before we spoke one word to each other, in the high-school library, and we lasted over 4 years. Life's strange sometimes. #-o

[Tim]

Only 18 years? Good luck getting rid of them after just 18 years :-P

 

Todays economy dictates a good 22 years practically minimum

Pretty much, unless you have a girlfriend/FB you're close to or an older sibling to crash with, you're practically garment's ( <-because [bleep]ing Chrome can't pick up the word I'm trying to spell) to be stuck home till 21+

(excluding if you join the Defence Force)

[Jeffwilson99]

Only 18 years? Good luck getting rid of them after just 18 years :-P

 

Todays economy dictates a good 22 years practically minimum

Pretty much, unless you have a girlfriend/FB you're close to or an older sibling to crash with, you're practically garment's ( <-because [bleep]ing Chrome can't pick up the word I'm trying to spell) to be stuck home till 21+

(excluding if you join the Defence Force)

 

I wouldn't say that. A lot of people leave home at around 18 to go and study, travel and work. What I was alluding to was that parents are usually financially responsible for their children for a few years after the age of 18.

[Omar]

I don't want to throw oil on the fire again, but monogamy can work.

[RpgGamer]

I don't want to throw oil on the fire again, but monogamy can work.

 

d'aww

 

I think that's what we all really want [minus the cancer]

 

and excluding muggi

[Giordano]

Everything can work, but there's no superior.

[muggiwhplar]

I don't want to throw oil on the fire again, but monogamy can work.

 

They were married in 1978. As I've said in the past, long-term monogamy was much more "successful" until the 1990s due to social norms and legislation.

 

Additionally, the rarity of a "successful" long-term monogamous relationship further suggests that one shouldn't expect such things to happen.

[Tim]

I too dont wanna put fuel on the fire, but Muggs got a point in a way, society's changed A LOT now to back then. Back then specific types of porn where depicted as hard-core, social sex was shunned, homosexuality was blasphemy to society, etc. The world in itself was a whole lot different, nowdays these types of porn are the norm (you know what one...), social sex is a common part of society (albit [bleep]ty on both genders when its taken too far), homosexuality is slowly but surely becoming far more accepted and the integral structure of relationships are so much diverse then old-fashioned "love and marrage". Obviously there are those like back then that still work these days, but also relationships as a whole are SO MUCH more different now.

[Omar]

I don't want to throw oil on the fire again, but monogamy can work.

 

They were married in 1978. As I've said in the past, long-term monogamy was much more "successful" until the 1990s due to social norms and legislation.

 

Additionally, the rarity of a "successful" long-term monogamous relationship further suggests that one shouldn't expect such things to happen.

It's not unreasonable to shoot for it though. It's just a matter of making your luck. Also, I think it's probably at least a little bit short-sighted to say individuals are entirely determined by the society they live in; you are what you do, and to a certain degree, you do what you want. I don't know if nowadays it's fair to say this degree is large enough to allow you to become a valid candidate for monogamy, or if it's worth the trouble considering polyamory as an alternative, but my point is if you don't try, you definitely won't get there.

[muggiwhplar]

But as a man in modern society, you have a LOT to lose if you get divorced. If you're a woman, you actually get REWARDED for a divorce.

 

I agree that you could be "lucky" and have a successful long-term relationship, and that you can't get that without trying, however you don't need to get married to achieve that.

 

Marriage made more sense back in the 1950s, for example, when women were practically required to get married if they wanted security, and men were required to get married if they wanted to have sex. Nowadays you don't need to get married (or even into a relationship) if you wanna have sex. You don't need to get married for security.

 

It's not like if a marriage fails you can just "break up" and that's that-- if you get divorced, chances are you're going to experience some major financial setbacks as a man. Society and legislation heavily favors women in divorce proceedings these days. Getting married as a man just isn't a smart thing to do... but many men are blinded by positive emotions when they propose, so what can ya do. lol

[Omar]

I think we can agree on that.

[Ezee]

Basically, I like this girl, but i'm the shyest person I know and i'm really antisocial. This girl is really nice to be and is a really nice person.

 

wat do?

[Riku3220]

Basically, I like this girl, but i'm the shyest person I know and i'm really antisocial. This girl is really nice to be and is a really nice person.

 

wat do?

Ask her out. You have absolutely nothing to lose.

[Ezee]

Basically, I like this girl, but i'm the shyest person I know and i'm really antisocial. This girl is really nice to be and is a really nice person.

 

wat do?

Ask her out. You have absolutely nothing to lose.

 

It really doesn't help that I'm one of the least popular people in my year and not liked much.