"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Riku3220]

Basically, I like this girl, but i'm the shyest person I know and i'm really antisocial. This girl is really nice to be and is a really nice person.

 

wat do?

Ask her out. You have absolutely nothing to lose.

 

It really doesn't help that I'm one of the least popular people in my year and not liked much.

Well, has she ever expressed dislike towards you?

[Ezee]

Basically, I like this girl, but i'm the shyest person I know and i'm really antisocial. This girl is really nice to be and is a really nice person.

 

wat do?

Ask her out. You have absolutely nothing to lose.

 

It really doesn't help that I'm one of the least popular people in my year and not liked much.

Well, has she ever expressed dislike towards you?

 

No but she's friend with people who don't exactly like me.

[Bonez899]

Hang around her, try to talk and get close to her, and if anything is ask or said don't try to hide the fact that you like her...

 

This coming from a guy who has been told how to do it, but hasn't done any of it...

[RpgGamer]

Hang around her, try to talk and get close to her, and if anything is ask or said don't try to hide the fact that you like her...

 

This coming from a guy who has been told how to do it, but hasn't done any of it...

 

that and drop the atitude that you're awkward and unliked. What you think of yourself will be what others think of you. Because that's how you project yourself.

[Sam]

Chicks dig confidence.

[Surprises]

Chicks dig confidence.

 

But they don't dig arrogance.

[Sam]

True - if you can back up your confidence with good humour, then you're sorted.

[Ezee]

Hang around her, try to talk and get close to her, and if anything is ask or said don't try to hide the fact that you like her...

 

This coming from a guy who has been told how to do it, but hasn't done any of it...

 

that and drop the attitude that you're awkward and unliked. What you think of yourself will be what others think of you. Because that's how you project yourself.

 

It's not really an attitude...

[Omar]

It's at least partly attitude. Many of us ITT have been where you are, and just making a mental effort can have significant consequences.

[Ezee]

It's at least partly attitude. Many of us ITT have been where you are, and just making a mental effort can have significant consequences.

 

Yeah, but unlike most of you people I have Autism.

[Kalphite]

It's at least partly attitude. Many of us ITT have been where you are, and just making a mental effort can have significant consequences.

 

Yeah, but unlike most of you people I have Autism.

 

I have Asperger's, and I still have a crapton of friends. Don't hide behind it as a crutch, just think about working past it. If you label yourself as being unable to talk to people because of your autism, then yeah, that's all you'll ever be. Confidence can work more wonders than you think.

 

Like, when I was in junior high I would do that same thing, and I only talked to about four people because I thought that nobody else would have any interest in talking to me, and so I sort of made myself fit into the stereotype I thought I belonged in. When high school came though, I joined band and started meeting more people, and I realized, [bleep] it, I don't have to be awkward just because a psychiatrist says I am. Now it's my senior year and I'm top of my class and can throw together a thirty-person party in a couple days. Confidence really can help, you just have to find it.

[Omar]

Kind of convenient for you to be here, Kalphite. :P

ez, had he not posted, I would probably have had a hard time replying, but as Kalphite's example shows, you can't allow yourself to use your condition to justify your lack of social skills, because you're only doomed to a life of suspiciously long showers if you do. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. That being said, I don't think asking her out straight away is a good idea.

[muggiwhplar]

Basically, I like this girl, but i'm the shyest person I know and i'm really antisocial. This girl is really nice to be and is a really nice person.

 

wat do?

 

one of the reasons why you're shy/antisocial is because that's what you believe you are. quit thinking like that and start considering yourself the most outgoing and social person. your brain will believe you eventually

 

also, if you have any friends that are incredibly outgoing, try to spend as much time as possible w/ them. when your brain sees your friend being rewarded for their social behavior, it will give you even more of a reason to develop that mindset.

[Randox]

Basically, I like this girl, but i'm the shyest person I know and i'm really antisocial. This girl is really nice to be and is a really nice person.

 

wat do?

 

one of the reasons why you're shy/antisocial is because that's what you believe you are. quit thinking like that and start considering yourself the most outgoing and social person. your brain will believe you eventually

 

also, if you have any friends that are incredibly outgoing, try to spend as much time as possible w/ them. when your brain sees your friend being rewarded for their social behavior, it will give you even more of a reason to develop that mindset.

Just don't fall into the trap of allowing your outgoing friend(s) to be outgoing for you.

[iNeppg]

 

Basically, I like this girl, but i'm the shyest person I know and i'm really antisocial. This girl is really nice to be and is a really nice person.

 

wat do?

 

Ask her out. You have absolutely nothing to lose.

 

^ This, and also you'll almost never regret things you did, but the things you didn't do.

[Kalphite]

If my school's prom is like June 11, when should I ask a person to it?

[Ezee]

If my school's prom is like June 11, when should I ask a person to it?

 

Asap so the girl you want to go with isn't already asked?

[Randox]

If my school's prom is like June 11, when should I ask a person to it?

 

Asap so the girl you want to go with isn't already asked?

Yeah, you should be fine to ask now I think.

[Aeon_]

True - if you can back up your confidence with good humour, then you're sorted.

Well, I must be the exception to that rule then. :unsure:

[RpgGamer]

True - if you can back up your confidence with good humour, then you're sorted.

Well, I must be the exception to that rule then. :unsure:

 

oh, you ;)

 

 

@kalphite

 

if you've been talking to the girl, ask asap. If you haven't started talking to her by now, you best be doing that right the [bleep] now.

[Kalphite]

Unfortunately I'm not in that good of a position, lol. Things never ended up working out with that last girl I was talking about (Stacey). She really was not acting interested or anything at all after we finally got through that week of her sicking out of everything I planned. Ended up hanging out with her in that group on that Saturday, going to a musical with them Sunday, and then she came to my house for one of my parties on Monday. She didn't seem interested in me at any of those things though, so I tried talking to her best friends (who I'm also close with) about it. One of them (the one who told me she was interested in the first place) said she wasn't allowed to say anything, and the other one said she wasn't interested in anybody anymore. So, in what I thought was a good idea then, I stopped pursuing that to avoid awkwardness, though in hindsight it seems like I've made the same mistake that's blocked me out of every other girl I've talked to in high school and just gave up too early. This weekend in question was about 2 weeks ago now (weekend of March 2nd-4th). She hasn't come to anything else I've planned since then either, though she's had reasons. We still talk basically every day though, but i feel like i probably missed this in tenth grade the first time I tried dating her.

 

And now, figures, I've been getting over that already and starting to like another old crush again (Jean)...this one, for anyone who remembers. Nothing came of that at the time, but she's come to like every single thing I've planned since January, like we've basically been hanging out twice a weekend this past month, and it's always a blast, never alone though. We've been talking a lot more lately also, and while she's seemed a bit flirtier the last couple times, I realize the girl is notorious for leading people on like that (as happened to two close friends of mine). I was thinking about trying to pursue this some more, but I have a feeling I'm friendzoned pretty hard by this point.

 

And... I don't really have any other ideas. It seems like I'm probably just going to try to go with someone as a friend at this point because I'm basically out of options in my circles of friends, and there aren't exactly many opportunities left to meet more people this late in senior year. If I ask someone as more than just a friend it'd probably end up having to be one of these two if I didn't miss those chances completely by now.

 

Unless I'm just being stupid as per usual. I know that I have tendencies to overanalyze the crap out of everything and give up way too soon, so if it seems like I'm just being stupid, please tell me. Otherwise...bleh. Also this was written sporadically over an hour so if something doesn't make sense I can clarify.

[RpgGamer]

Unfortunately I'm not in that good of a position, lol. Things never ended up working out with that last girl I was talking about (Stacey). She really was not acting interested or anything at all after we finally got through that week of her sicking out of everything I planned. Ended up hanging out with her in that group on that Saturday, going to a musical with them Sunday, and then she came to my house for one of my parties on Monday. She didn't seem interested in me at any of those things though, so I tried talking to her best friends (who I'm also close with) about it. One of them (the one who told me she was interested in the first place) said she wasn't allowed to say anything, and the other one said she wasn't interested in anybody anymore. So, in what I thought was a good idea then, I stopped pursuing that to avoid awkwardness, though in hindsight it seems like I've made the same mistake that's blocked me out of every other girl I've talked to in high school and just gave up too early. This weekend in question was about 2 weeks ago now (weekend of March 2nd-4th). She hasn't come to anything else I've planned since then either, though she's had reasons. We still talk basically every day though, but i feel like i probably missed this in tenth grade the first time I tried dating her.

 

And now, figures, I've been getting over that already and starting to like another old crush again (Jean)...this one, for anyone who remembers. Nothing came of that at the time, but she's come to like every single thing I've planned since January, like we've basically been hanging out twice a weekend this past month, and it's always a blast, never alone though. We've been talking a lot more lately also, and while she's seemed a bit flirtier the last couple times, I realize the girl is notorious for leading people on like that (as happened to two close friends of mine). I was thinking about trying to pursue this some more, but I have a feeling I'm friendzoned pretty hard by this point.

 

And... I don't really have any other ideas. It seems like I'm probably just going to try to go with someone as a friend at this point because I'm basically out of options in my circles of friends, and there aren't exactly many opportunities left to meet more people this late in senior year. If I ask someone as more than just a friend it'd probably end up having to be one of these two if I didn't miss those chances completely by now.

 

Unless I'm just being stupid as per usual. I know that I have tendencies to overanalyze the crap out of everything and give up way too soon, so if it seems like I'm just being stupid, please tell me. Otherwise...bleh. Also this was written sporadically over an hour so if something doesn't make sense I can clarify.

 

I bet you love recycling too

[Kalphite]

 

I bet you love recycling too

 

I havent had this issue happen this badly until this past month or so. just that, like, I pretty much talk to everyone in band and drama and my other group of friends doesn't really have anyone who is both single and attractive to me, which means I have a ton of friends by now but I don't really have many avenues open for a relationship, I guess. Excited for going away to college so I can break out of that rut, but for now it's what I have to work with, lol. And like I said, I don't really know many other ways to keep meeting people this late in the year.

[RpgGamer]

I bet you love recycling too

 

I havent had this issue happen this badly until this past month or so. just that, like, I pretty much talk to everyone in band and drama and my other group of friends doesn't really have anyone who is both single and attractive to me, which means I have a ton of friends by now but I don't really have many avenues open for a relationship, I guess. Excited for going away to college so I can break out of that rut, but for now it's what I have to work with, lol. And like I said, I don't really know many other ways to keep meeting people this late in the year.

 

grad parties, but that's not til June-ish.

 

Spring Solstice parties can get you in with the Pagans :P

round here we have free Rita's Waterice on the turn of the season, and a lot of people make a thing out of it [especially since one is like around the corner from my house]

 

Just gathering people for a pick up game of baseball, football, frisbee whatever works too.

[Noxx]

Okay so here's the story.

Me and my ex have been dating on and off for about 5 years now. During this time we've been dating for about 3 and a half years. A lot of it has been difficult due to the two of us moving around a bit and never being in the same place for a very long time. First i moved to SA for a while and then she moved to the US for a while. And now i'm in the US too. When she moved to the US things started changing a bit because she was able to live a different life to what she was used to.

We still spoke a lot, every day in fact. But recently things started changing a bit. About 2 weeks ago she started pulling away a lot and we haven';t had a decent conversation since.

Yesterday i asked her what was going on and she told me that her life has changed a lot and she has seen a lot of things since moving to the US and it feels like she was never really able to fully live her teenage years, and now she finally has that chance, even though shes no longer a teenager.

 

I still love her to death and would do pretty much anything to be with her, but she on the otherhand told me yesterday to give her some space because she needs time to see who she really is.

Now we have been through something similar like this before and the only way we got through it was by trying harder to talk more to each other. Help each other through it. But it feels like its different now. I spoke to a friend of mine yesterday and he said he went through the same thing with his ex not long ago and he gave me some advice on what to do.

 

He told me to give her what she wants. To give her her space. Not to call or text. And if she calls or texts me, lie to her. Tell her im having the time of my life, even if im not. Make her feel like i dont need her to be happy. Eventually she will come to her senses and realise that she loves me.

Her course ends soon and she will be back in Qatar in a week or two and her life will get back to normal.

 

I miss her now, even as i'm typing this and despite what my friend said i have this urge to talk to her and ask her whats up.

 

Also i'm not 100% sure but i think she might have met another guy. If this is the fact then that will soon end when she goes back home.

Anyway i'm not sure what i should do. I know she still loves me, shes just confused. and i still love her.