Noobs say the funniest things!

[p0nd3r4]

Ahaha, so many memories lost of this sorta thing, but there's been hundreds of incidents.

 

 

 

Memorable incident 1:

 

idiot: selling coal bars

 

 

 

Memorable incident 2:

 

This is over private chat.

 

idiot: hi im david giv me ur pass

 

 

 

 

 

My memory sucks so I can only remember those 2 :/

[p0nd3r4]

Some guy claiming to know me -.-

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, the other conversation was private..

 

 

 

ROFL

 

The blacked out guy didn't say anything funny at all... I think the other one was funnier... so tell me, what are you wearing? *winks* lmao

 

 

 

Sorry :P

[GoingUnder]

lol did someone had to bring that up -.- it was a girl !! not a dude!! ! ! !

[hungryblader]

Ok, you know that house in fally, that big mansion, with nobody in it. It has two floors.

 

I was there, for no reason at all, and a lvl 5 comes up and says "get out of my house"

 

I said, "no"

 

I don't remember exactly what he said, but it was something to the effect of, "Ill kill you."

 

At this point, I weilded my steel woodcutter's axe. (I had mitril stuff in the bank)

 

The noob private messages his lvl 10 friend. They both walk right up to me. I put on a steel med helm. (I found it on the ground. If only I'd had my mith armor)

 

They just stand there, and I walk on in.

 

 

 

 

 

OK, another time.

 

 

 

 

 

My sister just started an account as "Evil toad5"

 

 

 

She's a lvl 5.

 

 

 

A lvl 10 (still a noob, but higher than her) walks up and insults her. She tells him to shut up. Then she threatens him. He says, "You can't kill me"

 

She replies "oh, you wanna see?"

 

 

 

Oh, yeah, she says the same kinda stuff to me, and shes 11 and im 14.

[jaym112]

lol did someone had to bring that up -.- it was a girl !! not a dude!! ! ! !

 

 

 

And That only makes it more interesting :wink:

[GoingUnder]

lol did someone had to bring that up -.- it was a girl !! not a dude!! ! ! !

 

 

 

And That only makes it more interesting :wink:

 

 

 

oh darn .. I dug myself in deeper =p

[thaimodz]

I was walking north from Al Kharid when....

 

 

 

???: Buing rune playlegs

[wortelhaar]

idiot: hi im david giv me ur pass

you fell for it? :lol:

[xXAbyssalXx]

This is a very weird one i only remember a part but it is way dumber.

 

 

 

(I am walking through Lumbridge)

 

 

 

Noob: Whoa u r so so rich!!!

 

 

 

Me: ...I am?

 

 

 

Noob: Duh You have a black and blue party hat

 

 

 

Me: ???They r wizard hats

 

 

 

Noob: Liar i report u for item scamming

 

 

 

Me: U cant do that i didnt do anything

 

 

 

Noob: Reported for offensive language

 

 

 

Me: ?

 

 

 

Noob: Why do u wear copper armor that is so weak my bronze is better

 

 

 

Me: Its Dragon!!!

 

 

 

Noob: U Wish, ...whats a dragon?

 

 

 

Me: forget it

 

 

 

Noob: Give me all your riches or i tell me brother Andrew Goward

 

 

 

Me : Lol

 

 

 

Noob: Thats it your gonna pay

 

 

 

Me:?

 

 

 

Noob: I tell him right now!!! Stay!!!

 

 

 

 

 

And he never came back again 8-)

 

 

 

That gets a big LOL from me :lol:

[Burninator47]

oooh i got lots of this, but all heard from freinds :D

 

 

 

player: Poisoning daggers for free!

 

me: er, so I give you a dagger, you poison it, and you hand it back right?

 

(quick check, nope, he's not in highscores for herby)

 

player: yes that's right, can I have your dagger please.

 

me: why not just hand out free weapon poison?

 

player: I want xp from poisoning them

 

me: that sounds suspiciously like item scamming to me

 

player: it is.

 

 

 

You can guess what happened next

 

 

 

and this is is funny too:

 

 

 

Noob1: OMG!!! My brother is going to be so happy for me!

 

Noob2: Why?

 

Noob1: Because, I just got on his account and made him some profit!!!

 

Noob2: How did you do that?!?

 

Noob1: I checked the prices on his crown he was wearing with the general store and it was only 2 gp!

 

Noob1: I sold it to another player for 100K!!!!

 

Noob2: OMG! Your so lucky! I wish I had 100K!

 

Noob1: I know, he's going to be so happy with me and he'll probably give me 50K!

 

Me: LMAO!!!!!!!!!

 

^this one made me laugh alot

 

 

 

and i got this one too

 

 

 

Noob:Can I have some sausages?

 

Guy(weilding abby whip):huh?

 

Noob:Can i have some sausages

 

Guy:What sausages?

 

Noob:The ones you're holding

 

Guy:these aren't sausage links(attacks guard to prove it)

 

Noob:wow, you killed something with sausages!plz plz can i have some

 

Guy:it's an abyssal whip

 

Noob:they're sausages

 

Guy:they're not sausages!!

 

Noob:noob im reporting you

 

Guy:for what?

 

Noob: for not sharing food

 

Guy:THEY'RE NOT FREAKING SAUSAGES!!!

 

Noob:omg why didn't you say so * noob

 

^lol i always tought whips look weird

 

 

 

thats all i have for now :lol:

 

 

 

Those are some really funny ones lol

[sweetdeal7777]

Me: Buying rune (g) plate

 

Noob: CRICE42 (me) CAN'T TRIM RUNE! REPORT HIM!!!!!!!

 

Me: ****** (noob) I never said I could, just want to buy...

 

Noob: Stop trying to scam people! Reported!

 

Me: What are you reporting me for?

 

Noob: Offensive language, you swore at me!

 

 

 

Here's where I add him to my ignore list :)

[fire_skulll300]

lol one noob was really bugging me once so i put him on my ignore list then i deleted him from it to savve space then he contacted me again and started being really annoying so right before i put him on my ignore list again i said "the ignore list is very friendly" lol hasnt contacted me since maybe thats just because he is on my ignore list though

[Kanonator]

I liked this one. People were selling laws for 400 each in World 1.

 

 

 

 

 

 

:wall:

Well, i dont blame him. :oops: big story coming up.

 

 

 

 

 

about last...i cant remember, we were moving andi didnt have the internet fr bout 3 mjonths cuzza the dumbbutt internet co. so, i had like...200 laws, and convinced that i was going to get 200k out of it. that could be fine, but my parents just had to chose the time when laws were freakin verging in prices. sooooo, a lvl bout 130 (:lol: i know that's impossible but that guy was smarter than me atthe moment so wat lacked in lvl l;acked in knowlage over my pathetic brain.) came over to me and said:

 

him:lol...noob...

 

me:what? you makin fun of me er somethin????

 

him:lol...yeah, ur a newb...laws are 300per now * head.

 

me:no theyre not...

 

him:uhm...yeah...dumb*** noob.

 

me:dude stop messin with me fore i pop you one.

 

him:lol...wotever u dumb*** newb.

 

 

 

so that one was on me. :oops:

 

 

 

Heres one i have thogh. So we (my cousin yadda yadda yadda) were in in the Hill Giant place by varrok.

 

Cousin:hey, yur still wantin 1k bbones for 200k, right?

 

noob:lol, mother* noobs. 1k bbones is impossible to get.

 

Me:yeah, bro(to my cousin). buut, as for you, my noobin lil dumbbut friend...

 

Me:im reportin ya.

 

Noob:lol, like u will do nething *head. im a mod

 

Me:where's your crown mr. moddy woddy?

 

noob:Its invisible, u dumb newb.. i pay 50$ to get it invisible.

 

Me:ahh...

 

noob:wat, u dont believe me??? my main is lvl 356, newb! u wonn fight?

 

Me:no ty, my fine friend...i have a feeling your mad and angry enough.

 

Noob:u still dont belieeve me?! my main is the old nite!! (may i tell you that this was after the old nite died)

 

Me:1st of all, the old nite is dead...2nd, the max lvl is 126

 

noob:nu-uhh newb. you pay 50$ to get more levels.

 

 

 

 

 

:-k so lets get this straight...you can pay 100$ to be an undercover mod and get 300 more levels...Interesting...

[WolfhunterXZ]

-Wolfy's first post in General-

 

 

 

Wow... Alot of those are so hilarious.. Back in the day before I got members.. (I was f2p for 4 1/2 out of 5 years I've had this account, no, really.) and I remember the f2p ness.. All the newbies asking me for money and armor (full rune and whatnot) maybe some time I should go to a f2p server wearing just full rune and walk about.. Considering it is my heritage on Runescape.. Sadly, I remember no encounters with newbies. :P

[QueenValerie]

This happen to me tonight :

 

Him: Can you make me a abby whip ?

 

Me: Umm,, sure

 

Him: What I need for it ?

 

Me: A very long vine , and some thread and needle

 

Him: Where I get the vine from ?

 

Me : Are you serious ?

 

Him : What ? You don't know where to get the vine from ?

 

Me: umm sure , just go to Karmaja and search the vines.

 

Him: O.K. Stay here I be right back .

 

Me: Are you serious?

 

Him : Yes, I be right back

 

Me.. Umm O.k. then .

 

Him : * Runs towards the docks near Port Sarium.

 

Me :wall:

 

Now I am telling ya all that is 100% full blooded noob.. And I never use that word, but Oh my!!! I thought the guy was kidding me, he was dead serious.. #-o

[Ralvn]

=;

 

 

 

One more for noobs say the dumbest things:

 

 

 

noob: be my girlfriend

 

me: no

 

noob: c'mon on be my girlfriend

 

me: no - go away

 

noob: why not?

 

me: cause I'm old enough to be your mother

 

noob: sure you are, yur like 15 right?

 

me: No I'm 37

 

noob: yur lying

 

me: no I'm 37

 

noob: what are you some kind of pervo freak playing a kids game

 

me: go away

 

noob: reported

 

me: whatever dude

 

noob: give me stuff and I wont report you

 

me: no - god, I need to turn my chat filer on

 

noob:.......

 

(at this point I turned off public chat and had no idea what he said, he continued to follow me, i'm sure was talking although I couldnt hear him..I eventually teleported to loose the idiot)

 

 

 

in game:

 

Mistresse

 

combat lvl 100

 

playing since February 2003

 

 

 

that right there made me laugh :lol:

 

 

 

in fact i had one earlier

 

 

 

Him: hi

 

me:yea what do u want (im a meanie in rs :P)

 

Him: u wanna share your account? we could be best friends

 

me: no get out of my face now

 

Him: do it. im a jagex moderator.

 

 

 

i logged out

 

 

 

another one. not really a noob. just the most ignorant kid i have ever met in my entire life. im dead serious. just got this one. cutting yews in edge

 

 

 

Him: omg Ralvn you're such a noob you only have full black mystic? (yea only? the kid was lvl 62 and had full initiates on)

 

Me: u cant afford it noob

 

Him: dude i have 8M u dont know who you are talking to

 

Me: obviously i do. lvl 62 full initiate. yea...you have 8M

 

Him: u think you're big and bad? (he thinks he'll win?)

 

Me:beat u anyday

 

Him: bring it. (no problem)

 

Me: i'll give u a dueling ring. bring it on

 

Him: fine noob. i'll show u how much of a noob you are

 

Me: k lets go

 

(so i give him a ring and me a ring. i teled to dueling arena. he teled to castle wars)

 

Me: so where are u

 

Him: in castle wars. im not even gunna waste my time with u. im gunna tell all my friends i beat u so bad (yea he's so cool he chickened out to fight me and is gunna brag that he won against me)

 

Me: ok have fun

 

 

 

[Tbfgraphx14]

"buying magic string 1k" lol :o

[Slurpy17]

=;

 

 

 

One more for noobs say the dumbest things:

 

 

 

noob: be my girlfriend

 

me: no

 

noob: c'mon on be my girlfriend

 

me: no - go away

 

noob: why not?

 

me: cause I'm old enough to be your mother

 

noob: sure you are, yur like 15 right?

 

me: No I'm 37

 

noob: yur lying

 

me: no I'm 37

 

noob: what are you some kind of pervo freak playing a kids game

 

me: go away

 

noob: reported

 

me: whatever dude

 

noob: give me stuff and I wont report you

 

me: no - god, I need to turn my chat filer on

 

noob:.......

 

(at this point I turned off public chat and had no idea what he said, he continued to follow me, i'm sure was talking although I couldnt hear him..I eventually teleported to loose the idiot)

 

 

 

in game:

 

Mistresse

 

combat lvl 100

 

playing since February 2003

 

 

 

that right there made me laugh :lol:

 

 

 

in fact i had one earlier

 

 

 

Him: hi

 

me:yea what do u want (im a meanie in rs :P)

 

Him: u wanna share your account? we could be best friends

 

me: no get out of my face now

 

Him: do it. im a jagex moderator.

 

 

 

i logged out

 

should have reported him for jagex impersonating! :twisted:

 

 

 

what are you some kind of pervo freak playing a kids game YEA WHAT KIND OF PERVO FREAK ARE YOU? Rofl =D>

[yellowcard29]

heres 1:

 

 

 

noob: hi

 

me: hi

 

noob: whats that hat??

 

me: a santa

 

noob: can i buy???

 

me: if you have the cash =)

 

noob: 5k??

 

me: your about 12mil off there

 

noob: what! your reported for item scamming

 

 

 

good times good times :roll:

 

 

 

at the time he wrote that it was half juni now at the end of juni the price of santa is doubled , more than 20mil is it now around 22-23mil that is waht i call " helarious"

[pownage2007]

lmao very funny

[Fail_o_holic]

Try this, and this guy was one of my friends:

 

 

 

(My Friend, Lvl 50ish guy with no armour.) - I need help with killing, and I'm an expert.

 

Me - Killing what?

 

Him - Chaos elemental for d2h.

 

Me - You'd die very fast, and you only have 50 attack anyway.

 

Him - No! I soloed the kbd 5 times! And I bet I could own zezima!

 

(I looked him up, his prayer isn't on the high-scores...)

 

Me - You couldn't own zezima...

 

Him - Yeah I could, I owned the kbd and got a d med!

 

Me - Why don't you have rune armour then?

 

Him - I got hacked.

 

Me - If you could beat Zezima, you could beat me. Care to duel?

 

 

 

(I was 78 cb with 75ish mage.)

 

Him - Ok, can I borrow a dueling ring?

 

Me - Sure. Would you like to be meleed or maged to death?

 

Him - Lol I own you noob!

 

Me - Maged it is.

 

 

 

Well, I took him to the duel arena, trounced him (I only took 5 damage, hit 15 each spell generally.), and he hasn't talked to me since, except to pull me out of a slayer assignment saying it's urgent and ask for free armour once I got there...

 

 

 

Oh and he's claimed to have been hacked 7 times since then too...

 

 

 

Rs should display people's IQ's to help you make friends...

[Stephie]

well i got one from training on ice warriors in wild lol

 

 

 

 

 

Noob : Hey

 

Me : Hey, whats up?

 

Noob : You're actually talking to me!

 

Noob : Most higher levels dont talk to me!

 

Me : Heh, well I find it quite rude to just ignore people :P

 

Noob : How old are you?

 

Me : 19, yourself?

 

Noob : Omg 19, get a life noob!

 

Me : I Have a nice life thanks, have everything i want :)

 

Noob : Like what? A computer and net connection?

 

Me : Well i was going to say boyfriend, job, friends, etc

 

Me : But that works too :)

 

Noob : Omg you stupid noob! Get the **** off my training spot!

 

Me : Not your spot, it's anyone's, besides i was here before you

 

Noob : Alright, then die!

 

*Noob attacks me*

 

Noob : Ha! You stink, i'm owning you so badly!

 

You have just defeated Noob.

 

 

 

 

 

That's the last i saw of him :P, got a free addy plate and rune scimitar out of it too :P

[Chaotix04]

Ok so i recently lost members on my main and thought meh.

 

 

 

So im now training up my new non combat skiller!! (my new main also)

 

 

 

NOOB:autoer

 

ME:MALFUNCTION CODE 1458216

 

NOOB:its alive everyone bank your stuff!!!!!!!

 

 

 

8-) i actually fell of my chair with laughter

[GoingUnder]

lol did someone had to bring that up -.- it was a girl !! not a dude!! ! ! !

 

 

 

And That only makes it more interesting :wink:

 

 

 

oh darn .. I dug myself in deeper =p

 

 

 

Ahh, I did not dig myself in deeper, I just realized. harhar

[Kanonator]

New one...

 

 

 

This might sound like the phony of the year but its all true.

 

 

 

Buying full rune in Varrok...

 

 

 

Lvl 60 Me:Buying full rune 200k

 

Lvl 43 Noob:hey, u nub, you wona fight me?

 

Private message from him:just say yes, my gf's beside me

 

PM back:ok..............

 

Me:Sure

 

Noob:lol, nub, im gonna own you so bad...

 

Pm from him:do you have any free lobs?

 

PM back:no...lol....?

 

PM from him:Mf get me lobs you cheap ****!

 

PM back:how bout we fight w no food, but with full armor?

 

Pm back from him:Nub your a dumb*** ****..

 

Me:ok, follow me

 

noob:lol, no ur a scaredy cat

 

Me:im the one whos tryin to fight

 

noob:lol, your just gonna telly u dumb*** bring it.

 

Me:okk......follow me then.....

 

noob:lol...watever nub.

 

 

 

so we're in the wild and i hear:

 

Noob:ATTACK!!!!

 

Then a bunch of lvl 30's attack me.....I then kill them all with a special of my dds...

 

Noob:*running*n0000000! stop ****head

 

Me:hey...ill get a free rune pick and rune legs..why stop now?

 

Noob:cuz if u dont ill report u for item scamming!!

 

Me:the occasion item scamming crap...good plan

 

 

 

He runs out of energy...I turn on super stength and drink a zamorak pot...

 

WHAM, hit a 30.

 

 

 

Me:hehehe...

 

Noob:N000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000!!

 

then he started to spell the f word

 

 

 

noob:f

 

noob:u

 

 

 

thats all i heard :lol: