Saw Stacey in class today and she basically avoided me the whole time, finally managed to catch her on facebook tonight and we talked for about three hours. Much was said and I won't bore with details, but basically while she got over all of her old objections to dating me (too close of a friend, distance, her lack of confidence in her relationship skills), going on that date with me apparently made her realize that she really wasn't interested in anything more than a friendship.

 

Sorta sucked for a minute, but really I've known this was coming in the back of my mind since the first "I have to think about it". And hey, at least I got a bit of a confidence boost out of it; I know somebody has liked me at some point at least, lmfao. Also, that was by far the easiest rejection I've ever dealt with, and its one less steaming pile of drama to worry about as the year finishes out. And I'm still going to prom with her, so I don't have to worry about that either.

 

Now, to spend the next five months sexying up for college. :P

 

 

On a side note, its kind of funny looking back and realizing that I've been posting about basically every girl I've been interested in since junior high on here, and it took five years for everything that's been being said to sink in enough really to even get one date, lol. But whatever, I've definitely learned a lot from here and my overall confidence has definitely gone up since then.

 

I think this bolded part might be the most important bit of your experience. I'm happy you've boosted your confidence up and at least she was honest about it, and hopefully you'll stay confident throughout the next few years and life too. I'm probably/hopefully going to be able to meet up with the guy I like(d) next week to chat about everything, and clarify that I don't want anything more than friendship right now either. Dem exams

How would you guys go about hitting on someone?

 

There are quite a few girls in my friend group, and although I don't really like any of them, I'm curious to how you'd go about it, in a friendly manner. Assuming they're all friends with all my other friends.

How would you guys go about hitting on someone?

 

There are quite a few girls in my friend group, and although I don't really like any of them, I'm curious to how you'd go about it, in a friendly manner. Assuming they're all friends with all my other friends.

 

I'm actually going to toss this back in their court. Ask your female friends to help you practice flirting with girls, as they'll likely know what their friends look for, and know you better than we do. All we can do is give you generalizations like make sure you have proper posture, give off a good vibe and smile. We could have a long debate on this thread on the importance of "negging" and "3 second rules" and blah blah blah, but I feel like your female friends will be able to help you the most in this situation.

Here's a line my (really drunk) friend used at the bar last weekend: "Say, I was wondering if you had a place I could put my boner?"

 

Horrible, yes, but the girl's face was priceless. Surprisingly enough, he got her number but not on that line alone :lol:

I don't know if I have the right to feel this way, I probably don't and I feel a bit silly but I was planning to go and speak to the guy I like(d) on Monday and clear up any issues and say I don't want a relationship and it's cool that he doesn't want one too yadayada and make sure it wasn't awkward, but I just found out that he went raving yesterday and got off with several girls and I know he was drunk and things, and it probably doesn't mean anything but I feel kind of heartbroken almost, just because it's like he has two sides to him, it's like the "I want to concentrate and pass my exams, so I don't want a girlfriend as a distraction, but I want you to have more confidence, Maddy, because I care about you deeply" side VS the party animal, drunk "I'll get high and drunk every week for the hell of it, and I'm the popular guy that is fancied by 80% of girls in the school" side, and I don't know what to do. Should I still have a chat with him on Monday to clear up the potential 'issues' or should I just leave it and try to forget about him? Because really, he's got a lot of good sides and he doesn't owe me any good behaviour, I just feel a bit shocked for some reason...

I don't know if I have the right to feel this way, I probably don't and I feel a bit silly but I was planning to go and speak to the guy I like(d) on Monday and clear up any issues and say I don't want a relationship and it's cool that he doesn't want one too yadayada and make sure it wasn't awkward, but I just found out that he went raving yesterday and got off with several girls and I know he was drunk and things, and it probably doesn't mean anything but I feel kind of heartbroken almost, just because it's like he has two sides to him, it's like the "I want to concentrate and pass my exams, so I don't want a girlfriend as a distraction, but I want you to have more confidence, Maddy, because I care about you deeply" side VS the party animal, drunk "I'll get high and drunk every week for the hell of it, and I'm the popular guy that is fancied by 80% of girls in the school" side, and I don't know what to do. Should I still have a chat with him on Monday to clear up the potential 'issues' or should I just leave it and try to forget about him? Because really, he's got a lot of good sides and he doesn't owe me any good behaviour, I just feel a bit shocked for some reason...

Here is how I look at it:

 

Saying you don't have the time is pretty much the worst excuse ever thought up for this sort of thing. It sounds like it makes sense on the surface, but the truth is that if you want to be with someone, you are going to rearrange your schedule to fit them in. So unless you know someone who is in a permanent state of being so busy that everything they do is last minute and they really don't have any free time, its just them trying to be nice.

 

So I would take it for what it really is. He doesn't want to be with you and he's trying to be nice about it, which means he cares at least enough about you to not want to hurt your feelings and let you down as easy as he can. So I don't think you should be holding it against him, and your original plan to try and make sure things aren't awkward is probably still your best choice.

I don't know if I have the right to feel this way, I probably don't and I feel a bit silly but I was planning to go and speak to the guy I like(d) on Monday and clear up any issues and say I don't want a relationship and it's cool that he doesn't want one too yadayada and make sure it wasn't awkward, but I just found out that he went raving yesterday and got off with several girls and I know he was drunk and things, and it probably doesn't mean anything but I feel kind of heartbroken almost, just because it's like he has two sides to him, it's like the "I want to concentrate and pass my exams, so I don't want a girlfriend as a distraction, but I want you to have more confidence, Maddy, because I care about you deeply" side VS the party animal, drunk "I'll get high and drunk every week for the hell of it, and I'm the popular guy that is fancied by 80% of girls in the school" side, and I don't know what to do. Should I still have a chat with him on Monday to clear up the potential 'issues' or should I just leave it and try to forget about him? Because really, he's got a lot of good sides and he doesn't owe me any good behaviour, I just feel a bit shocked for some reason...

Here is how I look at it:

 

Saying you don't have the time is pretty much the worst excuse ever thought up for this sort of thing. It sounds like it makes sense on the surface, but the truth is that if you want to be with someone, you are going to rearrange your schedule to fit them in. So unless you know someone who is in a permanent state of being so busy that everything they do is last minute and they really don't have any free time, its just them trying to be nice.

 

So I would take it for what it really is. He doesn't want to be with you and he's trying to be nice about it, which means he cares at least enough about you to not want to hurt your feelings and let you down as easy as he can. So I don't think you should be holding it against him, and your original plan to try and make sure things aren't awkward is probably still your best choice.

 

At the end of the day, it's the friendship that counts. I'll try to make sure things aren't awkward, even though they won't be but I'm still going to try to get some space from him without completely ignoring him. Being too 'in his face' or trying to talk to him too much might be counter productive and I'm scared of looking in a mess or desperate but ignoring him will make me look jealous or hurt, which I'm not. I was more shocked than anything. But he still wants to be friends with me, and it's up to me to keep that going and why not? He helped me when I needed it, he's been more or less a good friend. But yes, you are right, he doesn't want to be with me and I'm totally going to try and move on and stop thinking about him in that way. This probably makes it a lot easier to do that.

 

On a side note though, a lot of guys in my year have used the whole 'exams' thing as to why they don't want girlfriends, but they've made 'promises' to their respective 'crushes' that they might get together after exams and it seems likely enough that they mean it

At the end of the day, it's the friendship that counts. I'll try to make sure things aren't awkward, even though they won't be but I'm still going to try to get some space from him without completely ignoring him. Being too 'in his face' or trying to talk to him too much might be counter productive and I'm scared of looking in a mess or desperate but ignoring him will make me look jealous or hurt, which I'm not. I was more shocked than anything. But he still wants to be friends with me, and it's up to me to keep that going and why not? He helped me when I needed it, he's been more or less a good friend. But yes, you are right, he doesn't want to be with me and I'm totally going to try and move on and stop thinking about him in that way. This probably makes it a lot easier to do that.

 

On a side note though, a lot of guys in my year have used the whole 'exams' thing as to why they don't want girlfriends, but they've made 'promises' to their respective 'crushes' that they might get together after exams and it seems likely enough that they mean it

 

That last bit sounds like a safety net incase the dude don't manage anything better to me Mads.

 

As for the whole situation, previous poster pretty much nailed it.

How would you guys go about hitting on someone?

 

There are quite a few girls in my friend group, and although I don't really like any of them, I'm curious to how you'd go about it, in a friendly manner. Assuming they're all friends with all my other friends.

 

I'm actually going to toss this back in their court. Ask your female friends to help you practice flirting with girls, as they'll likely know what their friends look for, and know you better than we do. All we can do is give you generalizations like make sure you have proper posture, give off a good vibe and smile. We could have a long debate on this thread on the importance of "negging" and "3 second rules" and blah blah blah, but I feel like your female friends will be able to help you the most in this situation.

I'd rather not incase I ever want to do it to them, is there a link to the 3 second rule or whatever somewhere?

When given an opportunity, act on it within 3 seconds before you talk yourself out of it

anyone still have a link to that comic about pepole who run the "long haul" game by being best friends for someone for years in an attempt to date them?

 

I feel this would be an appropriate time to post it

This?

 

[hide=Comic]

[/hide]

Reminds me of the "Old Familiarity Technique"

 

You can either skip to 5:20 in

video, or read the text version

[spoiler=text version]

Alice: What's the old familiarity technique?

Wally: It involves spending so much time with a woman that she gets used to your faults. It's like falling in love but without the expense.

Dilbert: If I could have made this tobacco lobbyist spend enough time with me...

Wally: ...while she was using you...

Dilbert: ...then maybe, just maybe, the inertia would carry her beyond the point of being repulsed by my personality.

Wally: Then one day if she breaks up with a socially functional boyfriend, she might be to emotionally crippled to date again. And there Dilbert will be.

Alice: Why don't you just date a woman who respects you in the first place?

Wally: You can do that?

 

 

This?

 

precisely

Anyways, one short story about awesome trip.

It happened, that through pure luck, managed to go to Portugal this April for a week, with 20-something totally unknown people. Turned out, the people were great. From 12 different countries. And so it happened, that I like to dance, but I am too shy to ask any girls for a date. And just so it happened, that a totally awesome, freak on the dance floor Lithuanian guy was there. And he noticed it, apparently cause I really can do some moves on my own, did some solos in the circle... And that awesome dude got me to dance with a girl on the 3rd night of the week-long trip. And I [bleep]ing enjoyed it. And he said the best words I have ever heard.

 

"Don't ever be afraid to dance with someone, it's more fun for both of you, and your dance skills do not matter."

 

And the best part? He got me to dance with former Riga VEF basketball club cheerleader. That's Latvian number one basketball club with number one cheerleaders. And damn, have I followed that line ever on... Meaning on that trip and on the school prom, cause nothing else has happened since. But by the result of that one event and that one awesome wingman, I became a person with confidence. I was braver with what I said and how I acted and I felt like someone in a group for the first time in my life. And that feeling you can only have with total strangers.

 

Needless to say, by the end of the trip, I was one of the most popular guys despite my really awkward looks and personality. Never felt so loved before. Tears were flowing by the good-byes. And that happened in only 1 week.

 

So long story short, if you have any opportunities, like in my case a training course/trip on European Union funds, always use the chance. The best time of my life so far.

Anyways, one short story about awesome trip.

It happened, that through pure luck, managed to go to Portugal this April for a week, with 20-something totally unknown people. Turned out, the people were great. From 12 different countries. And so it happened, that I like to dance, but I am too shy to ask any girls for a date. And just so it happened, that a totally awesome, freak on the dance floor Lithuanian guy was there. And he noticed it, apparently cause I really can do some moves on my own, did some solos in the circle... And that awesome dude got me to dance with a girl on the 3rd night of the week-long trip. And I [bleep]ing enjoyed it. And he said the best words I have ever heard.

 

"Don't ever be afraid to dance with someone, it's more fun for both of you, and your dance skills do not matter."

 

And the best part? He got me to dance with former Riga VEF basketball club cheerleader. That's Latvian number one basketball club with number one cheerleaders. And damn, have I followed that line ever on... Meaning on that trip and on the school prom, cause nothing else has happened since. But by the result of that one event and that one awesome wingman, I became a person with confidence. I was braver with what I said and how I acted and I felt like someone in a group for the first time in my life. And that feeling you can only have with total strangers.

 

Needless to say, by the end of the trip, I was one of the most popular guys despite my really awkward looks and personality. Never felt so loved before. Tears were flowing by the good-byes. And that happened in only 1 week.

 

So long story short, if you have any opportunities, like in my case a training course/trip on European Union funds, always use the chance. The best time of my life so far.

 

=D>

 

Love it, we need more stories like this ITT

She sent me a text message this morning.......

She told me that she was wrong, about everything. She realized that when i said i would be there for it i actually meant it and that everyone has left her and even though she treated me like shit the past few weeks i was still there for her. And she wants to be with me and she loves me. She told me she wanted to be with me... and she wants me to forgive her....

 

I haven't sent anything back yet.

Wow?

She sent me a text message this morning.......

She told me that she was wrong, about everything. She realized that when i said i would be there for it i actually meant it and that everyone has left her and even though she treated me like shit the past few weeks i was still there for her. And she wants to be with me and she loves me. She told me she wanted to be with me... and she wants me to forgive her....

 

I haven't sent anything back yet.

 

Call me a cynic, but I'd say you need to take that with a grain of salt; it sounds as though she wants something from you. I'm questioning the sincerity/truth value of what she's saying, and it doesn't seem to add up.

 

tl;dr - be cautious.

Ultimately it's up to you, Nox; we can't really make a prognosis. Either you trust her or you don't want to risk it. I'd probably "fall for it".

Go along to see where it goes, but don't take it up seriously. The words "relationship" and "forgive" in a sentence is always tied with drama: personal observations and experience.

Sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. She wants to be able to disconnect, go off on her own, do her partying/"I don't need you anymore" thing, and still be able to come crawling back to you. You can't always be sitting back and waiting for her to come to her senses.

She sent me a text message this morning.......

She told me that she was wrong, about everything. She realized that when i said i would be there for it i actually meant it and that everyone has left her and even though she treated me like shit the past few weeks i was still there for her. And she wants to be with me and she loves me. She told me she wanted to be with me... and she wants me to forgive her....

 

I haven't sent anything back yet.

 

I hate that game. From personal experience, I can say she may do this numerous times, getting back together with her will teach neither of you nothing. It's up to you to decide what makes you happier.

You could keep her around without promising exclusivity >_>

 

just sayin'...

Sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. She wants to be able to disconnect, go off on her own, do her partying/"I don't need you anymore" thing, and still be able to come crawling back to you. You can't always be sitting back and waiting for her to come to her senses.

I haven't been following this story too closely (I don't know how you guys do it), but if it's the first time she's completed this cycle it's not fair to assume she'll always do this.

You could keep her around without promising exclusivity >_>

 

just sayin'...

Seems like the best of both worlds to me, actually. It does take a lot of commitment not to make a commitment though, as paradoxical as it may sound.