"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[RpgGamer]

Parents always assume the best.

 

Fixed.

 

OT: I think I just made plans for my first date...Anything I should know about dating?

 

 

Watch 'Hitch' before the going to meet up with her.

 

sorry that's not very helpful, but I have a massive headache and judging by my acne I'm going through some sort of male PMS equivilent. I'll be on my way now...

[re4p3r1]

Parents always assume the best.

 

Fixed.

 

OT: I think I just made plans for my first date...Anything I should know about dating?

 

 

Watch 'Hitch' before the going to meet up with her.

 

sorry that's not very helpful, but I have a massive headache and judging by my acne I'm going through some sort of male PMS equivilent. I'll be on my way now...

be careful with the nose bleeds :?

[Tim]

Parents always assume the best.

 

Fixed.

 

OT: I think I just made plans for my first date...Anything I should know about dating?

 

http://forum.tip.it/blog/191/entry-1772-flirtingteasing/

 

I wonder if it has anything to do with the amount of women you have sex with? :rolleyes:

 

I've only hooked up with 2 girls in her presence, (she wasn't literally there, but she saw us meet and flirt) and I also told her about a [bleep] buddy. Surely that's not enough to justify her making that assumption

You'd be surprised, back in their days my parents, and my parent's friends would think things like [bleep] buddies weren't common and generalised as players who cant commit. (Though these days that's still 50% of the case)

tl;dr, some women see people who have sex out of a relationship alot as a total player.

[Iamdan]

Best way to directly tell a girl you like her short of making a move, but do it preferably after making a move: You just popped into my head, so hi. Now stay out of there. (via txt) Please don't anyone ever do the 'I've really liked you these last few months' speech, use that if you have to.

 

That's assuming you don't want to take the much better option that I posted about, it's also a good line if you're doing it anyway. It's not even mine, someone used it on me. It works well though.

You'd be surprised, back in their days my parents, and my parent's friends would think things like [bleep] buddies weren't common and generalised as players who cant commit. (Though these days that's still 50% of the case)

tl;dr, some women see people who have sex out of a relationship alot as a total player.

 

I can't really directly tell her that we didn't, because she didn't directly say it. I missed my chance for 'we didn't get up to anything if that's what you were angry about.'

 

Hoping she gets over it soon..

[Maze]

First day of school, and I already like this girl.

 

I've never really met her, but I've seen her before when I met with some friends, and she semi-knows me because we're friends on Facebook. The only problem is that we aren't in any classes together, and I don't know how to approach her without seeming weird.

 

Help me, oh wise TIFers.

[Zierro]

First day of school, and I already like this girl.

 

I've never really met her, but I've seen her before when I met with some friends, and she semi-knows me because we're friends on Facebook. The only problem is that we aren't in any classes together, and I don't know how to approach her without seeming weird.

 

Help me, oh wise TIFers.

 

If she is a friend of your friends then just hang around them nonchalantly when they're by her and try to nonchalantly bring her into the conversations.

[Maze]

First day of school, and I already like this girl.

 

I've never really met her, but I've seen her before when I met with some friends, and she semi-knows me because we're friends on Facebook. The only problem is that we aren't in any classes together, and I don't know how to approach her without seeming weird.

 

Help me, oh wise TIFers.

 

If she is a friend of your friends then just hang around them nonchalantly when they're by her and try to nonchalantly bring her into the conversations.

The problem is that my friends don't really hang out with her.

 

She sits near my table at lunch. I thought've going over and sitting with them, but I figured it'd be too weird.

[Zierro]

Yeah that would be pretty weird if you don't know them. You got a whole year ahead of you though. Surely you'll get a few chances to plant some friendly seeds.

[champion]

Honestly, if you're anything like I was last year, you'll be sort of overwhelmed with the fact that you've started high school, and your emotions will run kind of high and you'll start liking a whole bunch of girls. But in a couple weeks or so you'll probably move on and your hormones will stabilize.

 

Basically, if I were you, I wouldn't give it much thought.

[Maze]

Her relationship status on FB is with another girl. I don't know if she's just doing that for lolz or if she's lesbian. :blink:

[Iamdan]

Walk up to her group with high energy

 

You're awesome! High five! You know what, you're awesome too! High five. (Turn to her) You're also awesome, high five! (when she goes for it move your hand away) Oooh, I can't believe you fell for that.

 

You can either start a conversation from there, or just leave and do it later.

 

Might as well.

 

e: askjeeves in here too.

[Amaranth_GTO]

Her relationship status on FB is with another girl. I don't know if she's just doing that for lolz or if she's lesbian. :blink:

Seriously, almost every girl i know has done that at some point or another. 99% chance she's doing it for the lolz.

[Zierro]

Her relationship status on FB is with another girl. I don't know if she's just doing that for lolz or if she's lesbian. :blink:

Seriously, almost every girl i know has done that at some point or another. 99% chance she's doing it for the lolz.

 

Yeah, that's actually pretty accurate. Girls love flirting with other girls in a joking way. You shouldn't completely dismiss the possibility of her being gay though.

[rangeor]

First few days of school's a great chance to sit with her at lunch. Just be like, "hey, I don't recognize anyone in this lunch, would you mind if I sat with you guys?" Wouldn't seem odd since, if your school is big and has quite a few different lunches like mine, it isn't strange at all for someone to not be able to find someone they know in a lunch. At least during the first week.

[K4ylan]

And try to keep up with the group's conversation. You want to talk enough to let them know you're there. If you talk too much, they'll feel a bit nervous and defensive. Don't just make snide comments and one line jokes either, actually have something interesting to say. If there's a second or two of silence, after one conversation has ended, ask them some questions about themselves; you'll most likely be asked these questions back and they'll get to know you and feel comfortable. Once you're comfortable with the whole group it will be easier to get to know her and attract her.

[RpgGamer]

Mazemeout: any situation is only as weird and awkward as you make it out to be. It's a new year. Infact its the START of a new year. You're allowed to make new freinds. That includes both taht table near the girl you like AND the girl you like. Go to that table tomorow and make some new friends. Its what its all about. As a bonus, if she sees you making new friends, she'll see you as friendly and practically start waiting for you to approach her, too.

[Iamdan]

Mazemeout: any situation is only as weird and awkward as you make it out to be.

 

Also true.

 

I've been in so many situations where it probably would have been awkward for most people, but if you have a strong frame and you're comfortable than they will be too.

[Kalphite]

Yeah its just like you guys said; after being with her at a bonfire today I know she isnt attracted to me. I don't actually mind though, so I probably wasn't all that attracted to her in the first place.

 

Also, this part of my post sort of got overlooked, but I would still like some help with it.

 

Also, at the time of that post I said I'd post a picture of myself so that you guys could give me help with style/looks/whatever, and though I've forgotten about it until now, here it is.

 

[hide=Picture][/hide]

[Iamdan]

Also, at the time of that post I said I'd post a picture of myself so that you guys could give me help with style/looks/whatever, and though I've forgotten about it until now, here it is.

 

[hide=Picture][/hide]

 

You aren't a bad looking guy, imo a faux hawk will really suit you.

 

Anything that is strictly ornamental with no or little use is a good place to start. Piercings, tattoos, bracelets, neck chain etc.

 

Every man needs a good watch.

 

Get a tan, and lift weights.

 

Find a good button up, long sleeves. I personally like the ones with the clips at the side of the arms, where you can roll up the sleeve.

 

That's all I can really say based on that picture. Brad P's fashion bible is an excellent read.

 

Piercings are a really good idea imo. Some girls will love them and feel somewhat attracted to you straight away, it will merely be a benefit/neutral thing for most girls, and only a small percentage will disqualify you for it. Plus you can take them out if you want.

[Lenticular_J]

Then, after you've broken yourself in and started taking care of those aspects of life you might have overlooked, I'll have to shining your shoes, pressing your shirts and brushing your jackets. It's a growth cycle. Your hair suits you. Your shirt almost fits, but it isn't very attractive of a shirt. Show your pearly whites when you smile, and keep every part of your arms out of your front pockets unless receiving something. If you can't stand leaving your hands at your side, hanging them in your back pockets is a viable alternate that also helps with your posture (can't really tell if you have bad posture, but most people do).

[RpgGamer]

devil's advocate here.

 

I'mma disagree with the addition of a watch and tan and the removal of the hand in pocket. I'm a fan of putting my hands in my back pockets [mostly because my front pockets are filled with my phone/wallet/keys]. But the front pocket look promotes a sense of comfort and relaxation. Back pocket might help with posture, but I wouldn't rule out his hand-almost-in-pocket stance. As for tan? some girls dig it, but some girls also dig pale. Depends on the type of girl you're looking for. From my experience geekier girls like pale. Bar crawling easy girls dig tans. So...be as natural as you can with your pigment unless you're looking for an easy hook up. And i don't know about that whole watch thing. It matches the 'professional' look that Lent has, but for a standard teen, having a watch just looks awkward. Especially for those of us with very tiny wrists. And whipping out your phone as a time piece can lead to an easy segue into getting/giving numbers, which you wouldn't be able to get away with if wearing a watch.

 

I'm just not a fan of watches lol. Maybe if i got the whole suit&tie get up for the corporate look, but at that point it just looks stuck up.

[aquariusman]

Personally I think you have a good skin tone, no need to go off tanning. In all honesty, the best thing I'd recommend is more "noticeable clothing". What I mean is stuff that is eye-catching from a distance, but still something that can be ignored to talk to you. More light colours, and brighter. Also, maybe try and get some interesting things. If you're going to take Dan's advice and go with a piercing, don't go out on your own. Go with some friends, make it a trip. In fact, I suggest you don't plan on when you're going to get your piercing, just plan on it sometime. The point of this is that, if you happen to stumble downtown at some point, and you and your friends have yourself an "adventure", something to make an interesting story, that the piercing could be linked to that story. It'll give you a good conversation topic, and also give the piercing some sort of meaning (It might also make more girls find it more attractive). It's like how a cool tattoo without a story or meaning isn't that interesting past a couple minutes. But a cool tattoo with a story and meaning? Personally, I think that is one of the most interesting alterations someone can make to their body. Just my opinion on body modifications, they have to mean something to be interesting.

 

For your hair, I can think of two different possibilities:

Cut your hair short. Like buzz cut (about 3/4 inch in length). You can try even shorter if you want, see how it looks as it grows in. Short hair rarely looks bad on any guy.

Fauxhawk.

 

Also, if there's any hair style you've always wanted to try, try it. Hair grows back in a couple of months, and worst comes to worst you can get a buzz cut the next day. Oh and don't smirk, smile, with both cheeks and show some teeth.

[helpmeownlife]

I can back up what Lent and Iamdan have mentioned from stuff I've heard in my learnings too. Lemme think...

 

The whole piercings, tattoos...to be honest, I (myself!) wouldn't do that, because that's just not the kind of person I am. However, there is reason behind the whole peacocking thing. Basically, it shows that you're not afraid to deviate from conventional style and you're comfortable with a little extra attention. Now, the whole all-out peacocking thing you may thing is odd (cowboy hat, glow-necklace, etc.). In my mind, it is too. That's not to go and say that it won't work; the effectiveness of your style doesn't matter so much in the actual articles of clothing, it really only matters if you can pull it off. For example, if you're going to go crazy with peacocking but you're going to be quiet and just stand there, then it's going to be awkward. Just the same in reverse, too. If you're some crazy go-get-'em extrovert and you wear a sweater vest and dress pants, that's going to be a awkward too.

 

The watch thing is legit, and I don't understand how it could be so easily dismissed like peacocking. That be told, you don't need some pure gold Rolex or anything. I have a custom made Nike watch that was so difficult to get because it was discontinued when I found it. But luckily, I managed to get one. There's a good reason I worked so hard to get it too, and not settle for anything else. It's a pretty freaking nice watch. It's not some business-clad golden watch, but it's sporty and classy and I get comments on it all the time ("DUDE AWESOME WATCH!1231//").

 

Tanning, eh. It's not that big of a deal for you, it looks like. Just make sure you don't turn into the saturation of a polar bear and you'll be fine.

 

Adding on to Lent's post, you want to get clothes that fit good. And that's good advice for everyone. Once I lose a bit more weight, I'm going to go out and upgrade all of my clothes. Basically, it doesn't matter whether you're a chubby kid or a twig - the better your clothes fit, the better you'll look. If you're chubby and you wear a larger T-shirt in an attempt to hide it, it doesn't hide it, it just looks like you're insecure about your weight. And you want to be secure in your appearance and have sexual confidence.

 

Finally, the pockets thing. I personally kept my hands in my pockets at all times previously in my life, but I've kicked the habit. While Rpg is right, it goes both ways - it can make you look super insecure and uncomfortable too. I haven't heard of the back pockets thing, I might start trying that myself.

 

Hope I helped bro.

[Maze]

I said hi to her, and she said, "Oh, HEYY!!! It's you!" and then she kinda turned back to her friends. I didn't say anything else, because my friend tapped my shoulder to tell me something.

 

I thought it was a decent start, but now I don't have much to approach her with. I already said hi, now what am I going to do to approach her again? I was thinking about doing rangeor's idea, but I don't think she has any lunch periods with me.

[Wavemasta]

Just wondering, about the hand-in-pockets/where-to-put-my-hands-thing, how about crossing your arms in front of you? I'm still not sure about how people think of you when you do that. Can anybody enlighten me?