200M in all Skills

[iamsomebody1]

I wish I was dead. I hate my life.

 

You just need to move on to bigger and better things in life.

[Paperbag]

I wish I was dead. I hate my life.

 

You just need to move on to bigger and better things in life.

Like what? Real life is even worse for me. I'd be dead by now for sure if it weren't for this game. And now my motivation is deteriorating more and more for this game. So things don't look good for me. If I ever decide to commit suicide I'll write a goodbye post. Which is kind of likely.

[Sawercats]

What the hell rofl

[Sawercats]

I wish I was dead. I hate my life.

 

You just need to move on to bigger and better things in life.

Like what? Real life is even worse for me. I'd be dead by now for sure if it weren't for this game. And now my motivation is deteriorating more and more for this game. So things don't look good for me. If I ever decide to commit suicide I'll write a goodbye post. Which is kind of likely.

Mate, add Sawcats in game. I am a psychology major and even though you don't know me, I can help you out. Not even kidding, if you need money or something I have paypal and im willing to help someone as important as you.

[The_Star_King]

OK, I don't know what issues you're dealing with so I can't give you any specific advice. But just know that life can always get better, and suicide is irreversible. You only have one life to live, so you might as well try to make the best of it. All people have low points and high points in their life, so you never know, you may be enjoying a much better life in the future - and you'll look back, and be glad you didn't kill yourself.

 

Please don't commit suicide, seriously. This is coming from someone who has considered auicide himself.

[yoooooooooooooooooooo]

i support

[TTanT]

I wish I was dead. I hate my life.

 

You just need to move on to bigger and better things in life.

Like what? Real life is even worse for me. I'd be dead by now for sure if it weren't for this game. And now my motivation is deteriorating more and more for this game. So things don't look good for me. If I ever decide to commit suicide I'll write a goodbye post. Which is kind of likely.

Paperbags, I have no idea who you are in this game, although your name seems to ring a bell. However, let me give you these words:

 

Firstly, don't give up on life. You have talents, no? Things you're good at? Take those and run with them. Life gets a lot nicer for a lot of people after highschool. All you have to do is survive through it.

Also I'd like you to think what your suicide would do to people. I'm sure most of us here and Tip.it, especially those that know you personally would be shocked and hurt if you committed suicide. Remember that by doing something like that you are irreversably harming the lives of many others. Everyone you know in real lfie, and then people they know will be affected by seeing them affected. Could you live with yourself if you ruined someone's life becasue you couldn't stand waiting for things to get better? If not, then rememebr that would be your legacy upon death.

Like I said, I don't know you. But you could change the world. Perhaps you'll invent the cure for cancer, .Or perhaps you'll simply make another person happier, and inspire them. And maybe that person will do something great, or simply inspire another person. A single good deed has effects reaching further than you could ever guess or know.

 

Getting bored with Runescape isn't the end of all things. I know what it's like to have Runescape being the only worthwhile thing in your life, as I've been there. But let me tell you that real life is a way cooler MMO than Runescape will ever be.You should see the emergent gameplay out here.

But really, life is far preferable to death, especially for a person who is still young like you.

 

 

And if you think simply being alive can't make a difference, then pm me and I'll show you stories of men who contemplated suicide, then went on to change the world. Actually, some of the greatest men ever almost committed suicide before they even began.

 

Don't give up.

[Troll Bomber]

Paperbag I really hope you're joking man. What happened suddenly that turned your attitude 180 degrees? Several pages back you were 100% optimistic about your Runescape goals and everything seemed fine. Then your post today has thrown everyone for a loop as to what's going on. By all means please don't end your life over it, life gets better, I promise. Please talk to the people here about what's going on if you think it might help. We're a community, and although we don't know you in real life, we still care for you. Thank you sawcats for your generosity.

[Paperbag]

Why dont you shut the hell up yoooooooooo? That's not even it. I've felt like this for 2 years. Get off this thread. But to everyones support, thanks. I think that was just my medicine acting up. I do go to a psychiatrist and I am switching around with different meds to try and get over this stupid anxiety and depression that I have. I have been suicidal ever since 12th grade. I will stop taking the medicine, which is what my mom and dad suggest, and try something else later. Oh and also, its March. March is the worst month of the year for me by far. It means winter is ending. And I HATE spring and I love winter. I was like this last March too. It comes and goes other months too of course. I'm sorry for scaring you all. But that is how I get sometimes. I'm going to try to hang in there. But its tough.

[Sawercats]

I love winter too, feels homely. Hang in there bruv, everyone loves and underdog :D

[Jowah]

Something tells me paperbag's TIF account got haxed?

[Sawercats]

Something tells me paperbag's TIF account got haxed?

Nah

[kjarqu]

hang in there paper, hope you start feeling better soon

[Frommmars]

 

Nice to see some StarCraft players around! :)... I am actually hah, I really just enjoyed PvP, I had a 99range, 96~mage, 90str, 40att pure. Not sure how much you know about me, but well I played and still play poker for a living, and inbetween tournaments I needed something to do. Obviously Warcraft3 is pretty demanding mentally and when I'm just tired it was fun to just PvP and relax. A few of my friends played so it was fun stuff!

 

Hehe. I wish I had a better desktop to play SC2 on :( . As a fulltime master-student I have little time to dedicate myself to any game anyway. It is fun to see that you played runescape ;) I am a great fan of your playstyle. Loved your mothership play vs TLO.... Keep up the good work!! I am just a spectator I guess :) I have a preference for Protoss as well... Have been watching many squirtle-games lately. He is really good.

 

Well, lets keep it to Runescape on this forum :) What a rare but fun surprise. KiWiKaKi himself on a runescape forum..... That's like bumping into Zezima almost.... Haha......

[AfkScape]

Something tells me paperbag's TIF account got haxed?

Nope, I've been in his cc and he's been saying things like this for a while :(

 

Paperbag, I was suicidal for a long time, and as bad as things are now, enduring it is worth it. Problems can't last forever, and the future really is better. Even if medication, counseling etc doesn't help (which it didn't for me), there are still so many years you've yet to live. I hope you find something that works for you to help with this. :<

 

oh no page break now the spotlight is on me oh no

[Paperbag]

Something tells me paperbag's TIF account got haxed?

No, I am not hacked. This is who I am. I dont mind sharing it with all of you. Also I have a sudden burst of motivation now lol, weird.

[Sawercats]

Something tells me paperbag's TIF account got haxed?

No, I am not hacked. This is who I am. I dont mind sharing it with all of you. Also I have a sudden burst of motivation now lol, weird.

Heroic as Hercules

[Frommmars]

Why dont you shut the hell up yoooooooooo? That's not even it. I've felt like this for 2 years. Get off this thread. But to everyones support, thanks. I think that was just my medicine acting up. I do go to a psychiatrist and I am switching around with different meds to try and get over this stupid anxiety and depression that I have. I have been suicidal ever since 12th grade. I will stop taking the medicine, which is what my mom and dad suggest, and try something else later. Oh and also, its March. March is the worst month of the year for me by far. It means winter is ending. And I HATE spring and I love winter. I was like this last March too. It comes and goes other months too of course. I'm sorry for scaring you all. But that is how I get sometimes. I'm going to try to hang in there. But its tough.

 

Hey Paper,

 

I don't know if you remember, but we had a little chit-chat in (i believe it was) petor's chat just as you were going for 200m fm, a long long time ago. I remember you telling me that you had the ambition and the stamina to get in top 10. Something I pretty much deemed virtually impossible in such a small time. But you had proven me and many others wrong. Unfortunately for me, I quit right after but became a hiscores-enthousiast. I have been checking in periodically on your progress and I can honestly say that your achievements can humble many.

 

I am sure that there you have your reasons for being in a dip. But as many others said, you have grown into an icon for some, a hero for others. I strongly believe in the process of setting and achieving goals and you being a premier example of that, could and should feel pride of doing so. If you ever divert away from RS, just keep setting goals for yourself (such as self-improvement, like studies) and I am sure an overachiever like yourself will do just fine. I am sure you will prove others wrong in whatever endeavor you pursue.

 

Never lose hope and always strive for improvement :) Based on the empirical data that is Runescape, you can do it!! :)

[jsboutin2]

Glad to hear Paperbag is feeling better. I was worried while I was catching up to that thread.

[Paperbag]

Thanks for the kind words everyone :) It makes me feel alot better. I do remember you Frommmars. I am also a hiscores fanatic and already knew your name from the top cooking list from years ago. And thank you Nerdbomber for the kind PM you gave me. I'll add you sometime on RS maybe.

[All_Is_Great]

Thanks for the kind words everyone :) It makes me feel alot better. I do remember you Frommmars. I am also a hiscores fanatic and already knew your name from the top cooking list from years ago. And thank you Nerdbomber for the kind PM you gave me. I'll add you sometime on RS maybe.

 

If you really feel a strong urge to end it, go check yourself into the hospital. I'm dead serious.

[Paperbag]

Why dont you shut the hell up yoooooooooo? That's not even it. I've felt like this for 2 years. Get off this thread. But to everyones support, thanks. I think that was just my medicine acting up. I do go to a psychiatrist and I am switching around with different meds to try and get over this stupid anxiety and depression that I have. I have been suicidal ever since 12th grade. I will stop taking the medicine, which is what my mom and dad suggest, and try something else later. Oh and also, its March. March is the worst month of the year for me by far. It means winter is ending. And I HATE spring and I love winter. I was like this last March too. It comes and goes other months too of course. I'm sorry for scaring you all. But that is how I get sometimes. I'm going to try to hang in there. But its tough.

 

Sounds exactly like my old WoW friends back when I played. The best players in our guild (which was one of the better ones on the server/battlegroup) all had major depression issues offline. I am not sure what the cause of your problems but I can tell you that all my old WoW friends did improve after quitting. I know you said real life is just as hard on you but maybe if you put the dedication into something - I hate to use this term - "real", that it will help you feel better about yourself.

 

Like one of the guys on WoW that was major depressed was someone that was an amazing basketball player in college and broke his leg really badly and found wow and now is a fat depressed guy who lost his future, when he finally quit he obviously still couldnt run or have the same physical abilities pre-injury but he did manage to get back into shape and get back into school and end up a hell of a lot more happier.

 

If you dont wanna quit, dont quit, I dont know you at all and this may all be irrelevant but consider what it is that is getting you down and try and fix it

I just dont have any motivation to do anything outside this house. I would work if I could, but I just have so much anxiety and depression that it overpowers me. I did try a job once in September 2009 as a bagger at grocery store. I was panicing and shaking so bad I almost ran out the door in a total panic. When I got home I sobbed all night and just couldnt go back. That's why I can't get a job. RS has gone downhill too but I still have a little bit left to keep myself going. I am actually not fat at all. Quite the opposite actually. I eat very little because I dislike eating. I am extremely picky. So I'd rather go hungry. I only weigh 115 pounds and I'm an inch under 6 feet. I have no idea why I'm sharing all this with everyone. But I feel it will help me get through this crap and make myself want to live. If I start to post too much and get too off topic of the thread, tell me to stop.

[Paperbag]

Well that was just one situation I didnt think it would apply to you.

 

What is the panic factor about a job? is it talking to new people? The responsibility? or what gets you in a panic state?

 

And I know how it is with the weight I got a link to my blog on my signature at the bottom with an IRL pic, im a pretty skinny guy myself offline lol. If you fel uncomfortable sharing on this thread or mods start directing us to get back on topic you are welcome to message me on tip it.

Talking to new people. It may seem like I am good at it online but when it comes to real life, its WAY different. This is also the reason I hate dungeoneering and dont Skype with people, etc.

[Superheat]

@ Paperbag: first of all, that's terrible, living like that, it's something nobody should have to deal with. I've been thinking wether or not I should reply, but I decided to do so. What I think in this situation is of the utmost importance is that you follow your heart, I know that sounds easy, but it definately isn't. Since you find it difficult to talk with people face to face I assume that Runescape is for you not only about being the best (or getting the best) but also the feeling that you can talk to people, have a chat. Right?

 

My advice is (skip if you don't want to read)

[spoiler=Advice]Quit Runescape for now, get your life back on track as it is obviously way more important. Of course we like you, but we don't love you like your parent's and friends do, for the simple reason we don't know you that well. If you ever feel like talking to your Runescape friends you could come to this, or any other, topic. You could even make a messenger or something for your Runescape friends only, so you don't lose contact with them.

 

 

Anyway, I wish you all the luck. You'll be alright.

 

Superheat

[haimonek]

Just baby steps m8. Dungeoneering/skyping with clan mates is a great way to start as well

 

THIS!! It may only be a very small step. But it's skype! I mean you don't have to see the person. You don't have to talk with him/her standing in front of you. Same with dungeoneering. It might be a small step, but it'll be a big step for Paperbag! :)

 

And play with people you know, they'll know your background and won't go ranting and raving when you do something wrong. But they'll support you and correct your mistake and teach you how you should have done it. A good start could be with the people on this thread, the serious people ofcourse. Just look at all the support you just got! Imagine that support while dunging! :)