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Noobs say the funniest things!


xXAbyssalXx

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So I am cooking in Draynor...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noob:Plz

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me:?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noob:Can I buy fishing rod?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me:Sure, try Port Sarim fishing shop.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noob:Can you take me?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me:Sorry, I'm busy. Is just west of here though.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noob:Noob!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*He then proceeds to run off in wrong direction*

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[spoiler=Stats:]Updated December 22, 2011:

 

Total level - 1442 - 170M+ XP , Combat level - 115

Combat skills: Attack - 90, Defence - 99 (24.45m+ XP), Strength - 90, Constitution - 99 (16.42M+ XP) Ranged - 99 (13.32M+ XP), Prayer - 60, Magic - 99 (13.25M+ XP)

Non-Combat skills: Cooking - 99 (13.80M+ XP), Woodcutting - 99 (31.95M+ XP), Fishing - 90, Firemaking - 99 (24.82M+), Crafting - 90, Smithing - 90, Mining - 85, Runecrafting - 60, Dungeoneering - 85

 

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this happened when i was training my noob in the stronghold of security. btw he was 20 levels under me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noob: whats ur str lvl?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: 55, you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noob: hahaha mines 44 noob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me; wtf? im alot stronger than you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noob: so? when i get to your level i'll own you! noob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: *shakes head in pity*

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

 

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lol this was so funny!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note: im in egg form

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob: how do u become egg?

 

 

 

me: ring from last easter, untradeable.

 

 

 

noob: i luv u ur kuit (lol! really wrote it like that)

 

 

 

noob: i love u

 

 

 

I log out to come here right away!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a male caracter! :XD: :XD:

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i was on my pure whos level 24. I walked by a level 3 who started following me so i switched worlds. Eventually I get a pm from her. Heres what i remember of the conversation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob: hi bf

 

 

 

me: wait what

 

 

 

noob: hi boyfriend

 

 

 

me: im not your boyfriend

 

 

 

noob: yes you are

 

 

 

me: no im not

 

 

 

noob: i need a man and i found you

 

 

 

me: that guy in addy called you babe be hi gf

 

 

 

noob:but i like you

 

 

 

me: well i dont

 

 

 

noob: so whats that supposed to mean

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i got a pic of the end of the conversation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MadeaNubCry.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i was in stiches after the last part

Tip.it's official Ninja

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I have one and it will probably have you in stiches!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: *kills spider*

 

 

 

noob: z0mg!!1!!111!1 reported!

 

 

 

me: What for?

 

 

 

noob: bug abuse!

 

 

 

me: How was i doing bug abuse?

 

 

 

noob: killing the poor spiders! That bug abuse n00b!11!!1!

 

 

 

me: errr...ok... *counter reports for report system abuse*

 

 

 

noob: guve me your stuff so it doesnt go to waste when your banned!

 

 

 

me: sorry, no...

 

 

 

noob: Your a [censored]ing noob!

 

 

 

me: *teleports*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a few days later in private chat:

 

 

 

noob: I got banned for no reason!

 

 

 

me:gee...i wonder why...

 

 

 

he is now on my ignore list \'

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Obby drops: Cape (2) sword (1) maul (1)

Dragon drops: Med helm (1)

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I have one and it will probably have you in stiches!

 

 

 

noob: I got banned for no reason!

 

 

 

me:gee...i wonder why...

 

 

 

he is now on my ignore list \'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If he got banned... how did he PM you to tell you this?

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I have one and it will probably have you in stiches!

 

 

 

noob: I got banned for no reason!

 

 

 

me:gee...i wonder why...

 

 

 

he is now on my ignore list \'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If he got banned... how did he PM you to tell you this?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

mabye he made a new account to tell him?

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Click Here!

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so i was killing cows at the crafting guild. Later on, this cute newb was asking around where do he find a needle for cowhides. Then there was this lvl 20 who replied like this..

 

 

 

(word type and spelling is original)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

newb: Hi! need help!!!

 

 

 

lvl 20: ...

 

 

 

newb: need help for leder!

 

 

 

lvl20:oh how?

 

 

 

newb: were i get needer for leder?

 

 

 

lvl20: hmm....leather or ladder?

 

 

 

newb:do u know?

 

 

 

lvl 20: yea, a needle is easily found. Try finding it in a haystack.

 

 

 

newb: were is haystack?

 

 

 

lvl20:hmm....that's like finding a needle in a haystack...

 

 

 

newb:oh...okey, tanks very much!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

lmao!!! I was laughing so darn loud lol!!! funny newbtalk convos sometimess...

International Society of Lunatics And Murderers.

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This happened to me once - a person around level 30 walked by me and said 'Noob'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: Why am I a noob?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nubcookie: I've got a main, lvl 126, he could own u in wildy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: Username?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nubcookie: (mispelt swear) u noob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He then logged out.

 

 

 

Not that funny, but I haven't seen anything stupider...

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This happened to me once - a person around level 30 walked by me and said 'Noob'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: Why am I a noob?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nubcookie: I've got a main, lvl 126, he could own u in wildy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: Username?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nubcookie: (mispelt swear) u noob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He then logged out.

 

 

 

Not that funny, but I haven't seen anything stupider...

 

 

 

So the name of this lvl126 is a mispelt swearword?

 

 

 

I guess.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just hang around some large noob area such as Varrock or Lumbridge.

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lol funny storys keep em up :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

any way i got one

 

 

 

place karamja volcano hallying lessers

 

 

 

noobs lvl 65

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob:i want 2 skiny dip in the lava

 

 

 

me: ???

 

 

 

noob: y wont it let me skiny dip in the lava

 

 

 

me:ummmmmm y do you want 2 n e way

 

 

 

noob:because my mains zemyza(yes that how he wrote it)

 

 

 

me:lol wat eva. its zezima not zemyza lier. and how that got n e thing 2 du with skiny diping it the lava?

 

 

 

noob: shut up i could own zemyza

 

 

 

me: you just said your zemyza and u cudnt own me (im lvl 84) let alone zezima

 

 

 

noob: **** you

 

 

 

me:(after reporting him) reported. and your now in my ignore list with the rest of the weirdos and beggers thats made it in there :-$

 

 

 

he then made it into my ignore :twisted:

 

 

 

i was then told by a lvl 96 who was there listening that he spouted off a very long winded story about "zemyza a lesser demon called bob he then proceded 2 die and drop... 1 lobby and sum addy armor and weapons (not much use 2 me so i let the begger who was begging the lvl 96 have it :roll: ))

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i got a couple of stories

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

this was wen i was non-member i was aging and some noob came up 2 me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob: can u teach me 2 b an all powerful mage?

 

 

 

me:yea sure folo me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so i bought him priestrobes, a black hat and a staff (just a wooden staff with no orb)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me:now u can kill any1 in wildy

 

 

 

noob:wow ty so much

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so i foloed him 2 wildy and pwned him lmao

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

my other incident was convincing a noob that ther wer 7 chaos emeralds that if brought 2 gether wud destroy rs

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 days later i told her this was the last day

 

 

 

her reaction was so hilarious!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

not that funny but amusing none the same

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a penquin with its head in a beer can: cruel, but yet some how hilarious

if u like this put it in ur sig

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inoob: can u teach me 2 b an all powerful mage?

 

 

 

me:yea sure folo me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so i bought him priestrobes, a black hat and a staff (just a wooden staff with no orb)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me:now u can kill any1 in wildy

 

 

 

noob:wow ty so much

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so i foloed him 2 wildy and pwned him lmao

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

thats just mean :o :shock:

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i got a couple of stories

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

this was wen i was non-member i was aging and some noob came up 2 me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob: can u teach me 2 b an all powerful mage?

 

 

 

me:yea sure folo me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so i bought him priestrobes, a black hat and a staff (just a wooden staff with no orb)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me:now u can kill any1 in wildy

 

 

 

noob:wow ty so much

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so i foloed him 2 wildy and pwned him lmao

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

my other incident was convincing a noob that ther wer 7 chaos emeralds that if brought 2 gether wud destroy rs

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 days later i told her this was the last day

 

 

 

her reaction was so hilarious!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

not that funny but amusing none the same

 

 

 

You have been reported for animal cruelty.

 

 

 

Please enjoy your stay at the place you're going.

 

 

 

^^Jk

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inoob: can u teach me 2 b an all powerful mage?

 

 

 

me:yea sure folo me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so i bought him priestrobes, a black hat and a staff (just a wooden staff with no orb)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me:now u can kill any1 in wildy

 

 

 

noob:wow ty so much

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so i foloed him 2 wildy and pwned him lmao

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

thats just mean :o :shock:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AND A SCAM

 

 

 

,

 

 

 

you choudl be ashamed of yourself i would help him

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I have one that wasn't really funny, just annoying. I was on my noob account created for today's TET event.

 

 

 

Me:Buying iron2h!!

 

 

 

(After a while someone trades me)

 

 

 

He put up steel 2h.

 

 

 

Me: No I want an iron one not a steel one.

 

 

 

Him:Steel

 

 

 

Me: No I don't want to buy a steel one.

 

 

 

Him: Steel

 

 

 

Me: No.

 

 

 

Him: Steel

 

 

 

Him: Yes.

 

 

 

(At that point I added him to my ignore list and after a minute he walked off.)

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I've got one but it may not be that funny, but you be the judge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me: selling cooked food: trout, salmon, anchovies, lobbs, and swordfish

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob: i'll buy everything but your lobsters and swordfish

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me: okay

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob: how much for them all

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me: 5k

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob: okay

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*we trade and i had all of the food noted into notes*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob: hey i can't eat this food you said they were cooked, i wan't my money back

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me: they're cooked, i cooked them myself

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob: then how come i can't eat them

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me: i don't know just cook on them

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob: i still can't eat them, i'm reporting you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me: why?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

noob: cuz you said that they were cooked food and i can't eat them

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*then it hit me*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me: duh you stupid noob, the food are noted, you have to unnote them to eat them at the bank.

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