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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

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Ring is on a role with the good input. I'd listen to him, honestly.

 

I wouldn't ever condoning lying to him, so if he asks, tell him, but there's no reason to bring it up unless entirely necessarily, at this point at least. Plus, you're head is still unclear so let that settle some as well.

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Yes I understand that the way things ARE are different from how they SHOULD BE. I'm saying that if everyone here chose to quit putting sex up on the pedestal, quit being so primitively territorial/controlling, and quit expecting human beings to behave like angels, then issues like Skull's wouldn't be so common.

 

Insane beliefs lead to unhappiness.


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I think he deserves to know. I already told him I need to talk to him, I'm not backing out now.

 

As for the girl I hooked up with, she just doesn't want me to tell him. She doesn't care about the rest of it now.

 

And my ex is someone who I love more than anything. All I wanted was to get back together with her. Now she's treating me like I'm a monster. Justified or not, that's what happened and I care about her more than anything. I don't know exactly why she is really mad, but she is. Maybe she'll get over it, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to fix things on that front too.


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Skull, just how she is with you I would say run away. But your probably a young guy (>21) so you'll probably need to see for yourself why this is something to avoid. Hopefully you avoid life altering decisions like getting her pregnant until then.

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At this point I'm just aiming to get her to understand that one bad decision doesn't outweigh the good person that I truly am. I'm not getting anyone pregnant anytime soon.


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Your ex is being pretty manipulative by breaking up with you and then holding getting back together up as bait. I'm going to assume she knows it's what you want. Not telling you and then getting mad when you sleep with someone else is unfair; so would have been telling you and expecting you to wait for her without a definite timeline ("the right time" is bullshit). I don't know if you posted the details of this breakup, but I don't know them. Knowing what I do, though, it seems to me you should have tried working out your differences if what you both want is to be together. Assuming she broke up with you, it might be better if you keep your distance because she sounds a bit emotionally immature and manipulative.

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She didn't use it as bait, she told me that she had wanted it after I told her what I had done. It was the first time we had seen each other in a month. If she had held it over me none of this would have happened though. But I agree with a lot of that. She claims that she's mad at me because I hurt my friend (one of her friends did something similar with her and her ex, although I think that what happened there was much worse because he was telling her he needed her back and that he was going to kill himself and all that shit while hooking up with her friend. My friend told me he's over her and "he no longer has any warm feelings towards her at all).

 

I really think that there's a measure of jealousy from my ex, since she freaked out at me for a good couple minutes before even realizing that the girl I hooked up with had been dating my friend. I really don't know or care why she's mad though, I just want to fix things. All this drama is horrible and if my friend hates me for this than it makes it easier for me even though it would be awful to lose a friend.


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Oh I know she didn't tell you right away. I'm just saying that breaking up with you and then intending to get back together was probably the worst decision possible. Telling you and not telling you are both unfair for different reasons, and the fairest thing would have been not to put you both through the emotional difficulty of a breakup in the first place. Maybe none of the drama you're experiencing would have happened if she'd told you, but you'd be going through a different but equally frustrating period right now as you would be waiting for her and wondering how much longer. And she holds all the cards, because if you actually ask how much longer you're just making it worse.

 

(Yeah, personal experience there. Different subject, same principle.)

 

I'm not saying you're blameless here, but it really helps to acknowledge error on both sides so you don't just take it all on yourself, because that makes everything so much worse.

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Yes I understand that the way things ARE are different from how they SHOULD BE. I'm saying that if everyone here chose to quit putting sex up on the pedestal, quit being so primitively territorial/controlling, and quit expecting human beings to behave like angels, then issues like Skull's wouldn't be so common.

 

Insane beliefs lead to unhappiness.

 

You know as well as anyone that it's not easy to disregard hundreds of thousands of years of biological programming.

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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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Yes I understand that the way things ARE are different from how they SHOULD BE. I'm saying that if everyone here chose to quit putting sex up on the pedestal, quit being so primitively territorial/controlling, and quit expecting human beings to behave like angels, then issues like Skull's wouldn't be so common.

 

Insane beliefs lead to unhappiness.

 

You know as well as anyone that it's not easy to disregard hundreds of thousands of years of biological programming.

 

Indeed. Happiness is hard work :D


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Well the point of me and my ex getting back together is moot, since as it is now she doesn't want to see me anymore. So I'm focusing on things with my friend first and foremost because he is really the one who was hurt from this situation.


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He has no business being possessive. The person you hurt in that situation was his friends ex.

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Skull,

If your ex really cares about you the way you do her, she'll eventually not care as much about any of this happening. You have to forgive yourself first.


Quote

 

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

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I wanted to cut out all the bs and tell him straight that we needed to talk/possibly tell him how I feel.

Could my timing suck any more? I get all this confidence and feel ready after weeks of not speaking, and log onto fb after a pep talk from a friend ready to text him.

Look at fb and on the news feed his status is "Brb, going to Spain" and I'm laughing because I'm honestly thinking it's not serious. Like how could my timing be any worse. I could have solved this ages ago; and this doesn't even have to be a problem for normal people. I just don't get why it's so hard for me.

It's gotten to the point where it's actually pathetic. It's my own cowardice preventing me from moving forward and I have absolutely no idea what to do about it.

It's easy to just be like 'Oh come on Maddy grow some balls' and I've said it to myself countless times, but it just doesn't happen.

 

Last time I was supposed to date a guy, he got mugged and beaten up the weekend before the Monday we were supposed to go out. Obviously these things are never the other person's fault, but my timing always seems to be absolutely disastrous.

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Talked to my friend. He basically said that while obviously I [bleep]ed up and shouldn't have done what I did, he's not mad at me or at her for what happened. He really is a good guy, we talked a lot of shit out and I think everything with us is fine.

 

Of course on the way back I wasn't really paying attention and accidentally got off an exit I wasn't supposed to and it took me right to my ex's apartment. Also the picture of the two of us together that had been in my car apparently blew out the window when I forgot to close them before getting on the highway. Which after all this and being a sentimental person was pretty shitty. I'll search my car more later in hopes of finding it, but I think it's gone.

 

But yeah. I'll work on shit with my ex. Maybe she'll forgive me since my friend isn't actually upset, but probably not. Oh well. Nothing I can do to take it back now.


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To be honest the whole picture thing seems pretty [bleep]ing metaphorical and foreshadowing.

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Story related to Skull losing his picture:

 

A few months before my ex and I broke up I was working on a project in a figure drawing class which had to be loosely inspired by an existing work of art. I chose this painting by Eric Fischl: Artistic nudity, NSFW I guess.

 

It's a portrait of critic and gallery owner Simon de Pury and his then-lover, the artist Anh Duong. I think it's pretty powerful and says a lot about gender roles and relationships. So what I did was a self-portrait of myself and my then-girlfriend with the roles reversed: I was nude and she had her arm hooked through mine possessively.

 

Eric Fischl, as it happens, is pretty big on the idea that his paintings can "read" people and capture rather insubstantial things about them. What he said about the Simon and Anh portrait was that the discomfort in the image foretold their breakup. Lo, Simon and Anh broke up, and a few months after I did a piece based on that painting, my relationship ended.

 

I'm not claiming this is anything but an interesting story. I just find it food for thought.


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Absolutely. It was in my car for months and I've driven with the windows down plenty of times and it's never happened. All this shit goes down and it does. But whatever, I guess I didn't need to have her picture around anymore or something. Still sucks, that was one of the very few pictures I had of us together despite how long we were to together and it was from a happier time in my life for sure.

 

In other news, my ex says that she wishes my friend had punched me in the face. So much for her being upset because I had hurt my friend, clearly there's a lot more too it. But in all honesty, at least she is kind of talking to me, she very well could have just not responded to me at all. So whatever.


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[bleep] the law, they can eat my dick that's word to Pimp

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Absolutely. It was in my car for months and I've driven with the windows down plenty of times and it's never happened. All this shit goes down and it does. But whatever, I guess I didn't need to have her picture around anymore or something. Still sucks, that was one of the very few pictures I had of us together despite how long we were to together and it was from a happier time in my life for sure.

 

In other news, my ex says that she wishes my friend had punched me in the face. So much for her being upset because I had hurt my friend, clearly there's a lot more too it. But in all honesty, at least she is kind of talking to me, she very well could have just not responded to me at all. So whatever.

 

Sooo, back to she's insanely possessive and doesn't think you should date other girls because of course you know she wants to get back together with you?

 

Sounds like she just wanted an excuse to be pissed at you for sleeping with that other girl beyond petty jealousy.


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Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


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Have any of you guys ever watched (or read) Berserk? I watched the short anime series a few weeks ago and loved it. There's one character on that show in particular who's the epitome of an alpha male. He even has an overarching life mission too :D That show was a breath of fresh air in this post-feminist society where masculinity no longer seems to be acceptable unless you're a woman.

 

Skip to 4:06

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R45ReOv-ZlM&t=4m06s

 

"Some see nothing more than life and death. They are dead, for they have no dreams."


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Yay! I'm not the only oversentamentalist :)

 

(I've gone as far as to say coincidense has a desire)

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Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Talked to my ex a little more. Or rather I tried to talk her into getting some help with the problems that she has, in the form of some sort of therapy. She insists that she's fine, but she said that she would do it to "humor me" so I'm really pretty happy about that if she actually follows through. She really is a good person, she just has a lot of issues. And even if she hates me or whatever it is she feels towards me, I still care a lot about her and I want her to work her shit out.

 

I think she just needs some more time, we will see of course but I'm not going to sweat it and just take it day by day. So I think that my entertainment train here is coming to an end, since I've really gotten advice on all the things I could get it on. And promptly ignored all of it like I knew it would haha

 

(And yeah, I'm absurdly sentimental)


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[bleep] the law, they can eat my dick that's word to Pimp

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Have any of you guys ever watched (or read) Berserk? I watched the short anime series a few weeks ago and loved it. There's one character on that show in particular who's the epitome of an alpha male. He even has an overarching life mission too :D That show was a breath of fresh air in this post-feminist society where masculinity no longer seems to be acceptable unless you're a woman.

 

Skip to 4:06

 

"Some see nothing more than life and death. They are dead, for they have no dreams."

 

i too idolize anime rapists

 

hahaha


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sleep like dead men

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Have any of you guys ever watched (or read) Berserk? I watched the short anime series a few weeks ago and loved it. There's one character on that show in particular who's the epitome of an alpha male. He even has an overarching life mission too :D That show was a breath of fresh air in this post-feminist society where masculinity no longer seems to be acceptable unless you're a woman.

 

Skip to 4:06

 

"Some see nothing more than life and death. They are dead, for they have no dreams."

 

i too idolize anime rapists

 

hahaha

 

Oooh so you've seen it too! :D You're talking about Femto, I'm talking about Griffith ;)


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Is there such a thing as an omega male? If so I'm definitely one


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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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