"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Lenticular_J]

My 'thing' at school is that everybody knows me, but nobody knows the me outside of school. Which, really, is true.

 

Outside of school, I vary. I like to shake it up and try different things. Sometimes I'll be the life of the group, other times I'll be a quiet observer. Can't say there's a huge difference. The types of girls that are attracted to you are the main difference, but even there there isn't a massive change.

[imbackstinkers]

There's this girl, she likes me but i feel no connection with her whatsoever, physically or emotionally but she isn't ugly so should i date her

[Omar]

If you're sure she's completely plain, then you're not going to have any fun with her.

[champion]

There's this girl, she likes me but i feel no connection with her whatsoever, physically or emotionally but she isn't ugly so should i date her

No.

[RpgGamer]

There's this girl, she likes me but i feel no connection with her whatsoever, physically or emotionally but she isn't ugly so should i date her

No.

 

agreed.

You have no interest, why bother?

Although ,IamDan found himself in a situation like taht and ended up liking the girl before he could reject her :roll:

 

Try being her friend, and see if you gain any interest.

[Iamdan]

Although ,IamDan found himself in a situation like taht and ended up liking the girl before he could reject her :roll:

 

Try being her friend, and see if you gain any interest.

 

On that note she came over last night, every cell in my body wanted to kiss her (It didn't help that she obviously wanted to) but I decided to give the whole thing a miss. If we took it any further than hanging out she's the type that would have expectations, and I'm really not looking for a relationship atm. Especially after seeing couples around me who have been together a while. No lives other than each other and they seem to hate each other half the time anyway.

 

I also can't believe I even care, I usually wouldn't about something like that.

[Lenticular_J]

That's exactly how I feel about relationships. My friends that have girlfriends are all so booooooooooooring. Sometimes I think, "Hm, this girl's nice, maybe this could become more serious than usual..."

 

Then, I hang out with my friends, who constantly talk about their girlfriends, and I realize I don't want to be like that. I mean, I doubt I would be as bad as they are, but who knows. I haven't had a real girlfriend in ages.

 

It doesn't help that I'm actually looked down on for dating instead of staying with the same person for months. Some of my friends it's sad because they don't even see their "significant other" outside of school. I find that utterly ridiculous. Utterly so!

[Omar]

Except you're the kind of guy that wouldn't have a hard time facing that the situation you're in is no longer fun if you had a girlfriend and things started to turn sour. You could enjoy yourself, you know :)

[RpgGamer]

That's exactly how I feel about relationships. My friends that have girlfriends are all so booooooooooooring. Sometimes I think, "Hm, this girl's nice, maybe this could become more serious than usual..."

 

Then, I hang out with my friends, who constantly talk about their girlfriends, and I realize I don't want to be like that. I mean, I doubt I would be as bad as they are, but who knows. I haven't had a real girlfriend in ages.

 

It doesn't help that I'm actually looked down on for dating instead of staying with the same person for months. Some of my friends it's sad because they don't even see their "significant other" outside of school. I find that utterly ridiculous. Utterly so!

 

I think I need to be more like you. I was in a relationship for the longest time, and now that I'm not I don't know what to do with myself. I'm actually boring myself. That's pretty bad. I need some new hobbies or something...

[Lenticular_J]

That's exactly how I feel about relationships. My friends that have girlfriends are all so booooooooooooring. Sometimes I think, "Hm, this girl's nice, maybe this could become more serious than usual..."

 

Then, I hang out with my friends, who constantly talk about their girlfriends, and I realize I don't want to be like that. I mean, I doubt I would be as bad as they are, but who knows. I haven't had a real girlfriend in ages.

 

It doesn't help that I'm actually looked down on for dating instead of staying with the same person for months. Some of my friends it's sad because they don't even see their "significant other" outside of school. I find that utterly ridiculous. Utterly so!

 

I think I need to be more like you. I was in a relationship for the longest time, and now that I'm not I don't know what to do with myself. I'm actually boring myself. That's pretty bad. I need some new hobbies or something...

Eh, there are pluses and minuses to being me. I might know a lot of people and have lots of fun, but I don't really connect deeply with anybody. I have a handful of people that are actually good friends, but even them I don't confide in or anything. I keep most stuff bottled up inside me. Kinda shallow of a lifestyle.

 

Probably not good, but hey. Life in the fast lane. Or, at least, the lane to the right of the carpool lane. There are goods and bads in every situation, you just have to find which bads you can accept and which goods you like most. I'm content.

[RpgGamer]

That's exactly what I used to fear. But now it seems I've trapped myself in a position where I have no one I'm that close too and I'm boring. I have lots of work to do :lol:

[JeremyM]

For the past couple months me and one of my best friends (girl) started hooking up after we both told eachother we have had feelings for eachother since grade 8 (in grade 12 now). These last couple weeks we havent been talking or hanging out as much and tonight I hooked up with a girl I had only really talked to for the second time. I think tonight has made me realize I may have only said to girl number 1 I liked her back because shes one of the most beautiful girls in our school and because she said she liked me. Also, its usually kind of awkward after we hook up because we are such good friends and then we wake up beside eachother in the morning and just ... dont click as much as we used to.

 

I dont really need advice, I think I just needed to get it off my chest. Feel free to comment and sorry for the possibly pointless post.

[aquariusman]

The post's not useless if it helps you. I think the best thing to do is to just not hook up with her any more and tell her you've realized that you'd rather be friends with her (I'm assuming that this is the case).

[JeremyM]

Yeah, sounds like a good plan to me, thanks.

[StrOwez]

My 'thing' at school is that everybody knows me, but nobody knows the me outside of school. Which, really, is true.

 

Outside of school, I vary. I like to shake it up and try different things. Sometimes I'll be the life of the group, other times I'll be a quiet observer. Can't say there's a huge difference. The types of girls that are attracted to you are the main difference, but even there there isn't a massive change.

 

definitely do, something to pass the time and add to the experience of dating.

 

For the past couple months me and one of my best friends (girl) started hooking up after we both told eachother we have had feelings for eachother since grade 8 (in grade 12 now). These last couple weeks we havent been talking or hanging out as much and tonight I hooked up with a girl I had only really talked to for the second time. I think tonight has made me realize I may have only said to girl number 1 I liked her back because shes one of the most beautiful girls in our school and because she said she liked me. Also, its usually kind of awkward after we hook up because we are such good friends and then we wake up beside eachother in the morning and just ... dont click as much as we used to.

 

I dont really need advice, I think I just needed to get it off my chest. Feel free to comment and sorry for the possibly pointless post.

 

[Howlin1]

Lets say you are part of a team. You all get along okay, well or so you thought! Apparently you get on one of the team members nerves a good bit, but they havent said anything to you about it until now (and its been like this for a good while). And due to you getting on that persons nerves a good bit, they have withdrawn from the team a bit. You go and tell them that they do get on your nerves a bit as well, but you stay with the team and still work with them. So the person who you annoy then tells you basically leave them alone.

 

The most logical thing to do would be to talk to them (or at least try), but what do you do if they dont want to talk about it?

[BlindBaker]

Lets say you are part of a team. You all get along okay, well or so you thought! Apparently you get on one of the team members nerves a good bit, but they havent said anything to you about it until now (and its been like this for a good while). And due to you getting on that persons nerves a good bit, they have withdrawn from the team a bit. You go and tell them that they do get on your nerves a bit as well, but you stay with the team and still work with them. So the person who you annoy then tells you basically leave them alone.

 

The most logical thing to do would be to talk to them (or at least try), but what do you do if they dont want to talk about it?

Give the person time to think about it and get over it, and ask them to at least try for the team's sake? Or tell them you don't have to like each other to work well with the team. Really depends on what you did to them.

 

If you don't mind me asking, what does this have to do with dating?

[Howlin1]

Lets say you are part of a team. You all get along okay, well or so you thought! Apparently you get on one of the team members nerves a good bit, but they havent said anything to you about it until now (and its been like this for a good while). And due to you getting on that persons nerves a good bit, they have withdrawn from the team a bit. You go and tell them that they do get on your nerves a bit as well, but you stay with the team and still work with them. So the person who you annoy then tells you basically leave them alone.

 

The most logical thing to do would be to talk to them (or at least try), but what do you do if they dont want to talk about it?

Give the person time to think about it and get over it, and ask them to at least try for the team's sake? Or tell them you don't have to like each other to work well with the team. Really depends on what you did to them.

 

If you don't mind me asking, what does this have to do with dating?

Well because me being who I am, it isn't something that I can see going away anytime soon (even though I don't mean it). I will probably give them the rest of the week then probably talk to the leader of the team and see if they can help (or something else). To be honest they are who they are and I wouldn't feel right making/want them to do something they don't want to do.

 

If you don't mind me asking, what does this have to do with dating?

Well nothing really, but I didn't know where else to put it.

[Hobgoblinpie]

If you don't mind me asking, what does this have to do with dating?

Well nothing really, but I didn't know where else to put it.

 

I believe that this thread is about relationships, and a relationship is not just dating, therefore, I would assume that this is the right place.

[I_am_Geed]

If you don't mind me asking, what does this have to do with dating?

Well nothing really, but I didn't know where else to put it.

 

I believe that this thread is about relationships, and a relationship is not just dating, therefore, I would assume that this is the right place.

 

Good point. Although the title does suggest dating type problems and such.

 

But oh well. I find it odd. With a school of 375 kids total, its hard enough to find someone of interest in your school. Now take all of them and make them all prude, [bleep]s, druggies (BAD!) or [wagon]. Its funny. Because everyone in my school thinks theyre hot [cabbage], etc. And I'm not exactly social, even though I try to be, I am well aware that I am anti-social in a lot of ways. Which left the internet. And a seemingly harmless Facebook app called AYI (are you interested)

 

Yeah, I know the risks and dangers about this kind of stuff, but with dangers and failures theres also success stories? I set the thing to find people from my state, and Because of that its matched me up with someone who lives about a half an hour away from me.

 

Would have NEVER knew who she was if not for this app. But we started talking, yada yada, and eventually we met in real life. And the similarities between me and her are actually somewhat close, and we connect to each other pretty well. Were dating now, and I personally think doing well, but thats besides the point.

 

 

These online things, as unmoral as people see them or whatever, stupid, whatever word you wish to use. The thing is for people like me, who have little chance of actually finding someone I can connect to (Dont really say college will be a BIG thing for me, even though I'll be in Boston the school has around 3,500 kids, so I mean its 10x my high school but its dwarfed by universities that have 10k, 15k, even 20k kids.) Is the internet at least a semi-decent place to find someone to date? In a I would try to say "casual" state ("whatever happen happens", not the "i want to marry this girl and be with her forever and ever and ever") kind of mentality.

 

Ideas? Opinions? I know were a split community, so if your going to bash the internet, please do it logically and with some reason, not just "you get raped by internet dating", which is mostly false, the only ones who get raped are the ones stupid enough to provide the person they are talking to with every piece of info about them they have (phone#, address, etc)

[Kenshinjapan]

Doc, how old are you? If you're still young, I'd suggest holding off on internet dating at this point. And despite what you think, all of the highschool nonse disappears once you reach College and you will have better luck.

[I_am_Geed]

Doc, how old are you? If you're still young, I'd suggest holding off on internet dating at this point. And despite what you think, all of the highschool nonse disappears once you reach College and you will have better luck.

 

Im 17 now, going to be 18 in March. And from what I'v been told from many friends, College Dating is a lot like High School dating. and From what my school produces, it would be worse then a /b/ raid on facebook. Just kidding, lol.

 

But It is worth giving a shot. Hopefully 10x people doesnt mean 10x [wagon].

[Hobgoblinpie]

Good point. Although the title does suggest dating type problems and such.

 

Yeah, you have a point. But I suppose in the rarity of those questions it's better to just post them here.

 

And a seemingly harmless Facebook app called AYI (are you interested)

 

Yeah, I know the risks and dangers about this kind of stuff, but with dangers and failures theres also success stories? I set the thing to find people from my state, and Because of that its matched me up with someone who lives about a half an hour away from me.

 

I have used AYI myself, but not for the same thing as you would be using it for. I just use it to talk to different types of people. I couldn't really do internet dating, since I like to actually meet the person before seeing if I want a relationship with them.

 

Would have NEVER knew who she was if not for this app. But we started talking, yada yada, and eventually we met in real life. And the similarities between me and her are actually somewhat close, and we connect to each other pretty well. Were dating now, and I personally think doing well, but thats besides the point.

 

 

These online things, as unmoral as people see them or whatever, stupid, whatever word you wish to use. The thing is for people like me, who have little chance of actually finding someone I can connect to (Dont really say college will be a BIG thing for me, even though I'll be in Boston the school has around 3,500 kids, so I mean its 10x my high school but its dwarfed by universities that have 10k, 15k, even 20k kids.) Is the internet at least a semi-decent place to find someone to date? In a I would try to say "casual" state ("whatever happen happens", not the "i want to marry this girl and be with her forever and ever and ever") kind of mentality.

 

They aren't immoral or stupid. A lot of people use them for sensible reasons (like yourself for instance), but some may just be very socially inept, but this is besides the point. You're being fed this crap by the media, making you think that what you do is wrong (such as how the media in the UK feeds teenagers with stories of how we are scum and yobs, and it makes us perceive ourselves how the media portrays us).

 

In terms of finding someone to date, you get a very large range of people, including those you might not assume would use those types of sites, for instance, cheerleaders (you'd assume they would have a waiting list of people to date, but these internet sites suggest otherwise).

 

Ideas? Opinions? I know were a split community, so if your going to bash the internet, please do it logically and with some reason, not just "you get raped by internet dating", which is mostly false, the only ones who get raped are the ones stupid enough to provide the person they are talking to with every piece of info about them they have (phone#, address, etc)

 

I think most of the violence surrounding internet dating is to do with paedophiles, and paedophilia in general (I'm not going to bother explaining why, since you already know why paedophiles use the internet as a means of getting victims).

[Lemeja]

I just feeling like posting this somewhere.

 

There's a girl who I've liked for longer than I can remember, probably around 2 years. She has only known for around 6 months though and when I first told her she told me she had feelings for both me and a mutual friend. Finally though a few days ago, she started leaning towards me, or at least it seemed that way, before finally, last night, she told me that she thought of me as "a good friend". So, yeah I guess I wasted my time, or rather she wasted mine by leading me on :|

[Omar]

I just feeling like posting this somewhere.

 

There's a girl who I've liked for longer than I can remember, probably around 2 years. She has only known for around 6 months though and when I first told her she told me she had feelings for both me and a mutual friend. Finally though a few days ago, she started leaning towards me, or at least it seemed that way, before finally, last night, she told me that she thought of me as "a good friend". So, yeah I guess I wasted my time, or rather she wasted mine by leading me on :|

Well, she didn't necessarily do it on purpose.

For example, I had my arm on the back of a couch, and then a girl sat next to me. I guess she didn't notice my arm beforehand and then thought I was putting it around her shoulders. It wasn't what I had in mind. At all. :mellow: